Monday, February 2, 2009
ThE FaDeD TraVelIng Pants
Friday, January 30, 2009
tHe LOvE ViRuS

Drug ABuse, CRime and Home

Lorenzo served in the Armed Forces of the Philippines as Philippine Constabulary officer with a rank of colonel and as a police officer in the Philippine National Police with a rank of senior superintendent. He taught at the Philippine Military Academy (PMA) and was instrumental in the establishment of the PMA Guidance and counseling office in 1983. He joined the Department of Interior and Local Government (DILG) in 1994 to 1996 as special assistant to the DILG secretary. He wrote, edited and published books in public safety, criminology, psychology and policing. He is the editor and publisher of the books-Practicing Criminologists and editor of the PC/INP and PNP journals. He lectured and presented papers on various topics in different countries like US, England, France, Brunei, Taiwan, Indonesia, Thailand and in various universities like Cambridge, University of East London, University of Southern California.
Dr. Loremzo is included in the Baron’s Who’s Who of the World and Asia Pacific Rim. His membership included the International Council of Psychologists, American Counseling Association, International Association of Chiefs of Police and International Law Enforcement Planners. He is likewise the president of the Rotary Club of Manila San Miguel.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
GoInG gAGa oVeR YoGa

Tuesday, January 27, 2009
tHe BrEak-Up IsSue

- Accept..accept and accept- Healing starts with acceptance. Accept that your relationship is over. Stop the DENIAL-FANTASY!. Accept that the other person would not be there for you any more. It's normal to feel horrible if someone breaks up with you. It can be especially hard if you were surprised by the break up. Many people get down on themselves and wonder what they did to cause the relationship to end. This may be a harsh guideline for you--but be realistic--put your feet on the ground. Once the break up happens, you need to put it behind you and cope with the negative feelings that are present inside you now---in the present. Do not cling onto the hope that a miracle would happen and that things would go back to normal. Do not hope that the break-up would be reversed by some magic (except when you use "gayuma!") and you would be back together as if nothing happened. This would make things unbearable for you. Not accepting the reality will even make you feel worst!
- Balance the Memory. Memories are the biggest hurdle when it comes to moving on after a break up. Whether you remember the good moments or the bad, a vacation, a favorite bar, the first place you met, the details do not matter ... your memories only reinforces your loss BUT you need to realize and accept that the loss is complete and that the relationship is over. Dwelling on it will only lead to grief.
- Forget the revenge mode - falling in and falling out of love happens. It is sad - but it happens. Yet, that is precisely the time when it is most essential to maintain a clear head and to make sure that nothing foolish is done in the sensitive interim between breakup and cooling down. Accept this as a fact and do not seek revenge for being set aside for another person. Break up are usually emotionally shattering because they are interpreted as rejection. However, it is not rejection. It is a way to say that "I am not getting what I want from you." This is fine - nothing personal. Everybody is entitled to their opinion and happiness. Respect this choice and forget revenge. When you hate or plot for revenge, you can never let go of the past. Remember, "Revenge is the confirmation of pain." Focus on your good qualities. It's easy to feel discouraged and self-critical if your heart is broken.
- Keep yourself busy. It can help to get involved in different activities and projects. Focusing on other things can help you move on with your life, meet new people and discover new interests.
- Connect with your family and friends - you will be surprised how wonderful the love of your family and friends feels after or during a break up. You will realize how much love you are taking for granted while you are crying for the one love that is no more yours. Count your blessings in the love of your family, your close friends and renew these wonderful emotional bonds. Talk about your feelings to trusted family and friends. Sharing your feelings with others who can help you feel like you aren't alone. Spend time with them and laugh with them!
- Allow yourself to heal - do not throw yourself into new relationships immediately after a break up. Unprocessed emotions would almost always give you the wrong reasons to forge new relationships. Look for new relationships only when you can look back on the broken one without pain. Learn from the relationship and move ahead. Do not use it as a revenge against the person who broke up with you.
- Spoil yourself for a while - You need to replace the negative feelings created in your heart (with positive feelings). The easiest way to create positive feelings is to do something you love - go to the movies; go take a long awaited great vacation; treat yourself for a special body massage or beauty treatment (massage and spa experiences are great coping strats--promise!); start a new hobby; binge of some food you love; buy some excellent jewelry (if you have money!); etc. Wash away your hurt by indulging yourself. Use techniques that will give you relief dealing with the breakup rationally.
- Move on - aim ahead. Do all that you find possible to move on as normally as possible. Keep yourself surrounded by well-meaning friends and family with whom you could openly converse regarding your feelings. The more you are able to vocalize these feelings, the faster you would heal.
WHILE SUFFERING, DONT FORGET TO AIM AHEAD!do not UNDERESTIMATE your capacity to COPE!In this time of difficulty--learn to be more independent. This can be tough at first BUT your inner strength is the key in doing this. Believe in your capability to bounce back and surely--you will feel better about yourself even more.
HAPPY COPING!
Monday, January 26, 2009
Growing OLD Gracefully
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mOvIEs fOr PerSonAl GrOwTh

- The Kid (Disney) starring Bruce Willis - THE ISSUE: HEALING THE CHILD WITHIN. This film is a perfect illustration of how heling one's wounded child should be. Bruce Willis plays Russ, a 40-year-old, self-centered but successful "image consultant" who is failing in his personal life. What struck me the most in the movie was the statement of his girlfriend: "Every time I'm ready to walk away because I think you'll never be able to love, I see the little boy in you and what you could be." You can watch the movie to see how things turn out, but the essence is that many individuals who suffered in childhood do not realize that their adult relationship problems are directly related to their unhealed emotional wounds from childhood. This powerful movie brings to life the process of learning to embrace and accept one's wounded child and the personal growth that follows from such healing.
- The Passenger starring Anne Hataway. The issue presented by the movie was ACCEPTANCE OF DEATH. The story focused on Hatahway as a grief counsellor (Hathaway) helping six plane crash survivors. She develops a special connection with one of them (we’re guessing romantic, but you never know what they’ve got in store) but is drawn into a possible conspiracy when the other survivors start to vanish mysteriously. So what do you think she does? No, not run away and refuse to get involved… she investigates.
- Clean and Sober starring Michael Keaton (my fav!) and Morgan Freeman (another fav!) - the issue of the movie was on ADDICTION AND RECOVERY. Clean and Sober is one of the best films depicting addiction. Michael Keaton plays Daryl, a hustling real estate agent addicted to cocaine. When his life cascades out of control, he decides to hide out in an anonymous inpatient addiction treatment facility. There he encounters Craig (Morgan Freeman), an addiction counselor and recovering addict, who knows addicts inside and out. Clean and Sober accurately illustrates the difficulties addicts face in overcoming denial and trying to regain control of their lives.
- When a Man Loves a Woman with Meg Ryan (sleepless in Seatlle!) and Andy Garcia - THE ISSUES: RECOVERY FROM ADDICTION and CODEPENDENCY. When a Man Loves a Woman skillfully illustrates why alcoholism is a family disease. This film stands out, not only for its realistic portrayal of recovery from alcoholism, but also for the accompanying portrayal of recovery from the "addiction" of codependency, which often exists in the dysfunctional person's partner.
- Dangerous Minds starring Michelle Pfeiffer. Louanne Johnson is an ex-marine, hired as a teacher in a high-school in a poor area of the city. She has recently separated from her husband. Her friend, also teacher in the school, got the temporary job for her. After a terrible reception from the students, she tries unconventional methods of teaching (using karate, Bob Dylan lyrics etc) to gain the trust of the students.
- Beautiful Mind with Russell Crowe - THE ISSUE: THE PROCESS OF ACCEPTING MENTAL ILLNESS. Beautiful Mind is the true story of John Forbes Nash, Jr., played by Russell Crowe, a brilliant mathematician who won the Nobel prize for mathematics. This inspirational story brings to life Nash's painful journey into accepting, understanding, and learning to manage the paranoid schizophrenia from which he was suffering. In the process, Nash learned that medications helped and that his mind was capable of creating stories (delusions) and voices (hallucinations) that have no basis in reality.
- Antwone Fisher starring Denzel Washington - THE ISSUE: HEALING THE HURT THAT FUELS ANGER. This autobiographical story of the real-life Antwone Fisher, played by Derek Luke, skillfully illustrates the process of treating anger problems by healing the hurt within.
- Peaceful Warrior (2005), with Nick Nolte - THE ISSUES: MINDFULNESS AND LIVING IN THE MOMENT. This powerful film, based on the best-selling autobiographical novel by Dan Millman, a promising college gymnast with Olympic aspirations, brings to life Dan's struggle to overcome his fears, pride, childhood hurt, and loss after a serious motorcycle accident.
- Stand and Deliver. Jaime Escalante is a mathematics teacher in a school in a hispanic neighbourhood. Convinced that his students have potential, he adopts unconventional teaching methods to try and turn gang members and no-hopers into some of the country's top algebra and calculus students. THE ISSUE: PERSEVERANCE AND LOVE FOR WORK.
Watch out for more recommeded movies in my next entries! for the meantime--happy watching!
TiReD and ReStLess
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Helping Children One at a Time
● There are 37.6 million children (below 18 years old) in the current total population
● 70% of these children live in the rural areas
● 11 million Filipinos live in extreme poverty (Global Hunger Index).
● Children in poverty situation is about 80% of its total population given that average family income has declined by more than 30% since 2001 up to now (IBON).
● Hunger hits new record high of 19% (8 million families) in last quarter of 2006, while hunger remains high in Mindanao at 22% (Social Weather Station).
● 8 out 10 Filipinos cannot afford health care. (Health Alliance for Democracy)
● About 5 million are working children, aged 5-17. Child labor is mainly rural and male; 94% are 10-14 years old.
● About 3 million of them are engaging in worst forms of child labor such as in commercial sexual exploitation, plantation farms, mining and quarrying, etc. 180,000 are child miners (PACT)
● 1.5 million street children; increasing annually by 630,000 – and are vulnerable to prostitution and trafficking.
There are about 37.6 million children (below 18 years old) in the current total population and 70% of these children are living in the rural areas. Children are vulnerable due to socio-economic status and for being a child. In the case of girl-child, vulnerability is tripled with the addition of gender as a sensitive issue.
Given this and the present state of Filipino children, one can conclude that the Philippines still has a long way to go in terms of building a beautiful future for our children. Much still needs to be done especially in the areas of child protection, welfare and health. Child-focused agencies should be strengthened to ensure their effective response to children’s needs. Communities assisting children need to be empowered and supported.This what really motivated me to put up my center--CHILDREN AND YOUTH WELLNESS TECHNICAL AND ADVOCACY CENTER (CYWTAC). Through this center, we hope to be able to transform in a positive way the lives of children and young people at risk--- ONE AT A TIME!
CYWTAC---Since 2005, has paved the way in the promotion of total wellness in children and teens, prevention of violence and neglect against children … keeping children safe. We also hope to strengthen families by integrating various psychological interventions and approaches to help children who have been in difficult circumstances and their families.CYWTAC through its educational programs hope to redefine parenting and create kid success with prevention strategies and positive changes in parenting and family attitudes through seminars and training programs. Our goal is to build strong and healthy children, teens and communities through prevention, empowerment and hope.
COME--DREAM WITH US! It only takes a minute to hurt a child and destroy a life BUT it ALSO takes a minute to make a difference!
Thursday, January 22, 2009
My SpEciAl DaTeS
Every weekend--I always look forward to my special dates---dates with my clients (children and teens) at the center (I founded a wellness center for children and teens) and each meeting rejuvenates my entire being. Every meeting gives me new lessons to learn and virtues to reflect on---honestly--my weekly sessions with my clients makes me appreciate life more. In most instances--I prefer to be with children than with unhealthy (in all aspects) adults. Children are innocent and open to life fully. When they pretend, they know it is only pretending. There is no greater innocence on the face this earth had than children. Likewise, there is nothing more marvelous that one can do than affirm the innocence of children. If there is one thing I learned from children and from adults, it is that adults think they should teach children, but on the contrary, there is more for adults to learn from children than they have to teach them. Not that we should not do our best to prepare the little ones for the life they will have to take part in, but as adults we are trying to let go of much we have been miss-taught in order to become sane again.
My dear little friends always remind me how important it is to be joyous. In the midst of my extremely hectic life, they always make me stop and find the wonder in every little things, how to be trilled by the stories of old friends and how to experience heart felt laughter at the antics of other people's humor. I am deeply grateful for my weekly contacts with my little teachers because they keep me sane. When faced with boredom or stress, they always make me look at different avenues to have fun.
As a trainer, and as someone who has a vested interest in the growth and development sessions for people (regardless of whether I’m a part of it or not), I’m fortunate to carry around this kernel of kindergarten wisdom to summarize my weekly learning from my little teachers. Let us (adults) always be reminded that the most basic aspects of life bear its most important opportunities.In today's chaotic world, may these little reminders (from our children) resonate even deeper — in our inner core as we discover how universal insights can be found in children's wisdom and in ordinary events:
May we all find that teacher within us, to guide us home to the Heart of Laughter and Joy.
ALL I REALLY NEED TO KNOW I LEARNED IN KINDERGARTEN
All I really need to know about how to live and what to do and how to be I learned in kindergarten.
Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sand pile at school. These are the things I learned:
Share everything.
Play fair.
Don't hit people.
Put things back where you found them.
Clean up your own mess.
Don't take things that aren't yours.
Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.
Wash your hands before you eat.
Flush.
Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.
Live a balanced life - learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.
Take a nap every afternoon.
When you go out in the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands and stick together.
Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup: the roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that.
Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup - they all die. So do we.
And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books and the first word you learned - the biggest word of all - LOOK.