Today, Isuffered the consequence of late-night-texting syndrome! Believe me--I hate it when I lack sleep--so today--I'm not the typical happy person :)!!! I slept so late last night because of a young girl who asked for an advice (via text!) on her current relationship status! I cannot say no to her because she sounded so desperate to talk to someone--not to mention the fact that she attended my growth and wellness sessions at her school (i have strong emotional affiliation with my participants thats why!:)
She told me about her recent break-up with her boyfriend. She described her relationship as a rollercoaster love affair--many times fulfilling and happy--but many times ---its toxic! They quarrel often (she described these incidents as "very intense") but usually they end up in eachothers arms again (after lambasting and calling each other names!)....
I promised her though that I would write an entry on my blog about what I have in mind regarding her situation.
I always believe that having ambivalent relationships in your life where interactions are sometimes supportive and positive and sometimes hostile or negative—can actually cause more stress than relationships that are consistently negative! The stress level in roller coaster relationships are even more intense making it not worth the amount of work required to maintain it. Most of the time, if you are in a broken relationship--you have to ask yourself that if you give this relationship the effort it deserves, would it benefit you and enrich your life in the end? Would it make you even more happier? After answering this question, you should have a clearer picture of whether this relationship is positive or negative for you. BUt mind you---staying in an "energy-filled" relationship can be draining and psychologically depleting! Instead of exhausting too much from a broken relationship like this--why not reserve your energy for a more mature and satisfying relationship-maybe with another person or with the same person (provided that both of you work on making the relationship a little mature!).
Many times women, over and over again, lead lives of desperation holding on to their roller-coaster relationships by convincing themselves on a daily basis that they will not be better off alone--so they stay in a this kind of connection. Some women believe that by staying in a bad bond they will somehow help their mate become better. But believe me girl, by becoming aware of the condition of your relationship--this will save you time, pain and stress--open your eyes and try to convince yourself not to stay in a very unstable affiliation because in the end--this will become abusive.
Getting help from friends and family or even professional help, depending on the severity of your situation, may be the right choice and a healthy first step to letting go of a broken relationship. Remember, loving involves an unwavering array of emotions.......good luck!
