"Using the analogy of the human mind as a computer, gossip can be compared to a computer virus. A computer virus is a piece of computer language written in the same language all the other codes are written in, but with a harmful intent." --Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements
A dear friend of mine was recently became a victim of a deeply wounding gossip or should i say by an electronic gossip (the story was spread through texting/SMS). The things that were said were neither true nor coming from a place of love or goodwill toward HIM--THE ALLEGATIONS WERE purely baseless. He was hurt--but I know that hearsays should not be entertained. But of course, for the victim of gossip, the pain can be excruciating. We live in a gossip-oriented society so naturally almost everyone loves to gossip (but my friend's pain is a poignant reminder to me of my own commitment not to engage in gossip in any way. I set this standard for myself some time ago. I am re-committing to working harder on this within myself!).
BUt gossip really is not benefiting anyone--believe me--it hurts the source of the gossip (we don't feel good about ourselves when we talk in derogatory ways about others and when we do things that make us not feel good about ourselves, we harm our self-respect, self-love and self-confidence and the victim as well). Any talk about another that is not coming from a place of love, is without the intention of good will, has questionable accuracy and that you would not want the other to hear about--is NOT an ACT OF LOVE! Gossip hurts. Personally, I believe that people who are mature do not gossip.Gossip is hideous. It is imperative to say then that people who loves to gossip are people who needs help in terms of facing problems/issues and in terms of developing positive human skills.
So---have you ever been a victim of nasty untrue gossip? I HAVE and continously being bitten but let me tell you- each gossipping story are quite always a learning experience. Of course, all nasty gossips are hurtful (duh, I’m only human!!), I usually become upset and wanted to lash out, but I dont---really---you see--I deal with the gossip by being the MUCH MUCH bigger person (than the person who victimized me). I pray and ask God to handle it. I, then, would suck up my negative hurt feelings and would go about my business. I stay true to my values and make sure that my actions (continuing to be professional, helping others, and carrying myself with feigned confidence) will present an entirely different picture than what the gossip had described. Incidentally, every time I become a victim of gossiping--the persons who started the gossip would always suffer a bigger failure--(i dont know if i have to owe it to the karmic world!!). I’d be lying too if I said I wasn’t glad about that. Most importantly, I was glad that I handled each situation the way that I did. Now--I'm still standing.
FOR THOSE WHO LOVES TO GOSSIP--REMEMBER...If your mouth sometimes runs away with you and you hurt others (or yourself) by your gossiping, spilling the beans and divulging other people's secrets - then start thinking hard before you can further hurt yourself! (remember the legal implications of this actions!--you can end up in jail!). Asking a professional for help will do good as well--open yourself to this problem so that people around you can help you more. Gossiping is a serious personality problem---believe me---people who likes to gossip needs professional help from a mental health professional! Spread LOVE instead of PAIN!
