Growing OLD Gracefully

Akon (the singer! is he famous?!!) didnt know his age?!!!What the heck?!

A good friend of mine asked me to read an article posted on the net about stars denying or witholding their actual age (what type? chronological, biological, emotional or social age?)(duh!). Age ain't nothing but a number, but at least most of us know what number we've reached BUT Not Akon!!! This week he told the Associated Press he doesn't have any idea how old he is. "I don't want to know I'm getting older," the hip-hop hitmaker said. "Then I'll start to think about getting checkups and insurance. I don't want that."Weird...really...weird!maybe he needs someone to tell him that everyone wants to stay young forever but sorry akon we all age! thats a reality of life!(I find it very hard to believe Akon does not know his real age. Just a publicity stunt to say that. No one can be 21 forever!).

As I continue to age, I have become much more sensitive to issues of aging. I focus on what I can do to develop grace in the process. Im just sad that for some celebrities---age--is something they are ashamed to admit. I dont know why?! I always believe that there is dignity in admitting one's age! One cannot help but to just tolerate the inevitable decline in strength with a good nature. As we age---we should ALSO accept the RETIREMENT, OLD-AGE INSURANCE COVERAGE AND THE EVENTUAL DEATH with forbearance and composure. These are realities that only the courageous people (and rooted in reality!) can accept. At least when you advance in age--you are assured to be old enough to know better!

Personally--i'd like to grow old--beautifully (not needing all theplastic surgeries or those clothes from the hippest stores!!)--with dignity and with lots of FUN! By choosing to be happy when I age---I will learn to earn every wrinkle and every grey hair on my head which I hope to trully make me happier than I already am today. I am praying that by accepting who and how I have become will make me feel unique. I cant wait to grow old--with elegance and extraordinary happiness!

mOvIEs fOr PerSonAl GrOwTh

Friends often describe my personal growth interventions as ECLECTIC! When I attend conventions, I easily get bored when I am fed with specific approaches on handling clients. I mentioned in my previous entries how I love integrating music, arts and movies (even stories via bibiliotherapy) in all the interventions I give to each of my clients. I specifically love songs and movies(though I'm not a movie fanatic!). There are few movies that I personally love and often I recommend to clients--these movies illustrates issues usually addressed in therapy. Let me share some of them:

• The Kid (Disney) starring Bruce Willis - THE ISSUE: HEALING THE CHILD WITHIN. This film is a perfect illustration of how heling one's wounded child should be. Bruce Willis plays Russ, a 40-year-old, self-centered but successful "image consultant" who is failing in his personal life. What struck me the most in the movie was the statement of his girlfriend: "Every time I'm ready to walk away because I think you'll never be able to love, I see the little boy in you and what you could be." You can watch the movie to see how things turn out, but the essence is that many individuals who suffered in childhood do not realize that their adult relationship problems are directly related to their unhealed emotional wounds from childhood. This powerful movie brings to life the process of learning to embrace and accept one's wounded child and the personal growth that follows from such healing.


• The Passenger starring Anne Hataway. The issue presented by the movie was ACCEPTANCE OF DEATH. The story focused on Hatahway as a grief counsellor (Hathaway) helping six plane crash survivors. She develops a special connection with one of them (we’re guessing romantic, but you never know what they’ve got in store) but is drawn into a possible conspiracy when the other survivors start to vanish mysteriously. So what do you think she does? No, not run away and refuse to get involved… she investigates.


• Clean and Sober starring Michael Keaton (my fav!) and Morgan Freeman (another fav!) - the issue of the movie was on ADDICTION AND RECOVERY. Clean and Sober is one of the best films depicting addiction. Michael Keaton plays Daryl, a hustling real estate agent addicted to cocaine. When his life cascades out of control, he decides to hide out in an anonymous inpatient addiction treatment facility. There he encounters Craig (Morgan Freeman), an addiction counselor and recovering addict, who knows addicts inside and out. Clean and Sober accurately illustrates the difficulties addicts face in overcoming denial and trying to regain control of their lives.


• When a Man Loves a Woman with Meg Ryan (sleepless in Seatlle!) and Andy Garcia - THE ISSUES: RECOVERY FROM ADDICTION and CODEPENDENCY. When a Man Loves a Woman skillfully illustrates why alcoholism is a family disease. This film stands out, not only for its realistic portrayal of recovery from alcoholism, but also for the accompanying portrayal of recovery from the "addiction" of codependency, which often exists in the dysfunctional person's partner.


• Dangerous Minds starring Michelle Pfeiffer. Louanne Johnson is an ex-marine, hired as a teacher in a high-school in a poor area of the city. She has recently separated from her husband. Her friend, also teacher in the school, got the temporary job for her. After a terrible reception from the students, she tries unconventional methods of teaching (using karate, Bob Dylan lyrics etc) to gain the trust of the students.


• Beautiful Mind with Russell Crowe - THE ISSUE: THE PROCESS OF ACCEPTING MENTAL ILLNESS. Beautiful Mind is the true story of John Forbes Nash, Jr., played by Russell Crowe, a brilliant mathematician who won the Nobel prize for mathematics. This inspirational story brings to life Nash's painful journey into accepting, understanding, and learning to manage the paranoid schizophrenia from which he was suffering. In the process, Nash learned that medications helped and that his mind was capable of creating stories (delusions) and voices (hallucinations) that have no basis in reality.


• Antwone Fisher starring Denzel Washington - THE ISSUE: HEALING THE HURT THAT FUELS ANGER. This autobiographical story of the real-life Antwone Fisher, played by Derek Luke, skillfully illustrates the process of treating anger problems by healing the hurt within.


• Peaceful Warrior (2005), with Nick Nolte - THE ISSUES: MINDFULNESS AND LIVING IN THE MOMENT. This powerful film, based on the best-selling autobiographical novel by Dan Millman, a promising college gymnast with Olympic aspirations, brings to life Dan's struggle to overcome his fears, pride, childhood hurt, and loss after a serious motorcycle accident.


• Stand and Deliver. Jaime Escalante is a mathematics teacher in a school in a hispanic neighbourhood. Convinced that his students have potential, he adopts unconventional teaching methods to try and turn gang members and no-hopers into some of the country's top algebra and calculus students. THE ISSUE: PERSEVERANCE AND LOVE FOR WORK.

Watch out for more recommeded movies in my next entries! for the meantime--happy watching!

TiReD and ReStLess

This week--i've been literally making the world mine by trying to do the impossible---I worked 10 hours a day--monday to friday--i went to manila (thats 12 hours by bus!) in the evening of friday and arrived in Manila early for my internship--then went to my class (PhD) in the afternoon of saturday--then slept and spent the whole sunday running errands while still working (internship!). This monday--i felt the painful effect of abusing my health and my body! Today, after arriving from manila (at 6 am)--i prepared to go to work at 8 am---i was in my office quarter before 8 to work on my backlogs---now--its 7 PM--still working and i'm still down to the dumps!

Today--I felt that the world was not mine--the world was against me. There's even a name now for the phenomenon I've been proving for myself: presenteeism. It's when people (like me!) who should be absent from work -- because they're tiredness was contagious or feeling so lousy they can't do their jobs -- aren't.Honestly--today--it's almost painful trying to keep myself awake, and I become dizzy and disoriented. This is the worst feeling i got from being tooooooooo motivated!

I guess i learned my lesson well today! neth--have a life! take a break!