Understanding Carl Jung's Archetype of Shadowing

Last week, our class discussion revolved around Carl Jung's Archetype particularly on one of my personal favorites: Shadow.

The archetype is probably Jung's most difficult concept. Archetypes for Jung are inherited predispositions that makes a person respond to the world usually in certain and unique ways. They are primordial images, representations of the instinctual energies of the collective unconscious.

In Jungian psychology, the shadow or "shadow aspect" is a part of the unconscious mind consisting of repressed weaknesses, shortcomings, and instincts. These repressed needs, inferiorities and shorcomings are superseded during early childhood by the conscious mind. The shadow represents what we consider to be inferior in our personality and also that which we have neglected and never developed in ourselves.

According to Jung, the shadow, in being instinctive and irrational, is prone to projection: turning a personal inferiority into a perceived moral deficiency in someone else. Jung writes that if these projections are unrecognized by the individual. These projections insulate and cripple individuals by forming an ever thicker fog of illusion between the ego and the real world.

When applied the SHADOW archetype to relationships, the example of its expression is perfectly illustrated by the psyche of jealousy and bitterness. Life is made up of many expectations! We entertain expectations in every area of life from
the time we are children.When people dont come up with the expectations set by the self and the society, thats where problems come in. The shadow becomes bigger and prominent. We maximize our failure in our mind creating insecurities. Insecurities magnifies the shadow self. This insecurity later on leads to bitterness if not handled and resolved well. Our expectations can become so-out-of kilter, and so unreasonable. Yet we are not even aware of what mentally we are demanding of life and from others. I think unfulfilled expectations is the number one reason why people become bitter. Actually, we are all probably bitter or angered at some point but there are a lot of people who makes bitterness part of their personality profile.

Dissecting the profile of these people--they fit this frame: they are cynical at work and unappreciative of how they have been blessed and they resent the successes of others. Why? Because most of the time--what they see in others (success) are their unconscious needs for themselves. Unconsiously--they have "ideals" for the SELF--but most of the time, these ideals do not translate to realities ...so when these "ideals" become real in other people--they start to resent. They start to backbite. They start to gossip. These are all part of their coping (unconsciously)---to frustrations and insecurities.When they face their shadow--alive and kicking, they start to ask: "that's what I want to be for myself--but why why can't I be like that?"..so resentment comes in.Bitterness only results whenever somebody's better at something that the other is not.



Its funny how simple theories can put words and cognitively align with human experiences.

Counting my FRIENDSHIPS!

I've been reflecting on the basics of friendship. I am lucky to have so many good friends-- and as i recollect how I met them and how they became a huge part of my life--this made me truly accept the concept of serendipity. Most of them are in my heart over the years and will be stuck there until the end. With my work, meeting people that have the qualities of a good friend shouldn’t be that hard yet, at times, finding true friends can be a challenge as well.

I did some thinking about what really makes a good friend and what characteristics they should posses. This thinking lead me back tothe past friends I’ve had and presently have – how they treated me, how I treated them – why we are still friends today or why our friendship has changed or dissolved.

All of this thoughts led me to ponder on these life lessons:

A good friend may not share every detail of every second of my life, but they do stay in my life for good. I remember being tagged in one of the most beautiful FB posts of my good 'ol friend Loren which says: "It has been said that everlasting friends go long period of time without speaking and never question their friendship. These friends pick up phones like they just spoke yesterday, regardless of how long it has been or how far they live and they dont hold grudges. They know that life is busy and you will always be there to love them". I am super blessed to have good friends who genuinely care for me. They may express this care differently--different people may have different ways of letting you know that they care about you--but these differences have one common denominator--the feeling of their affectionate care.

Friends definitely can read your many faces. I have friends who basically know my emotional state even without me telling them or vice versa-- me knowing their emotional state without them telling me--this means that they try to present an accurate picture of who they are and of different situations (or the other way around!).A good friend is at least a fairly good listener and notices how little, day-to-day things affect you. They can't read your mind, but chances are, they can usually tell when you're happy, sad, excited, shocked or upset.

There's a lot to be said about chemistry and shared interests in friends. From my simple recollection, I know me and my friends are binded by common interests--our profession (we have the same wavelengths), travelling (talk about sisterhood of the travelling pants) and passion (if we like to achieve something--we all work for it with passion). Now I realized why those "temporary" friendships I let go in the past didn't work out right because we dont have shared interests, our passion for everything did'nt meet and most especially, our brainwaves did'nt meet!:-) I know that we have fun simply because me and my friends see life like no one else does.


I had "temporary friends" because they are not on the same page as me or our energies don't meet fairly. I am blessed for having people who know what I want most out of life, know what makes me tick and help me become the person I want to be. They won't try to change who I am or drag me into situations that make me uncomfortable or put me at risk of losing something that matters to me. I'm just glad I let go of the people whose intention is to pull me out of my journey to who I really want to be!).

Most importantly, true friends won't gossip about you or try to damage your reputation. They will let you know when they're concerned and do their best to stick up for you when you're in trouble.A good friend sticks with you in good times and bad. Loyalty is a quality almost everyone lists when asked what they look for in a friend. A loyal friend will stick with you when your activity is a flop or when you get a little taste of success.A true friend rolls with the punches as you grow and change and know how to deal with your quirks and faults. They are also patient when you make mistakes -- even big ones -- and learn how to forgive you when you hurt them. In other words, they treat you as you'd like to be treated, even when you aren't at your best.

I am glad God gave me good sets of friends--honest and trustworthy, people let me be myself and doesn’t try to change me or change to be liked! Friends who care, never would let me do something that would hurt me, people who would be genuinely interested and involved in my life, who could tell if I'm happy or not happy without me saying a word, they stick with me through the terrible-horrible parts of life and someone who may have enough dirt on me to blackmail me for life – but keeps his or her mouth shut, people who forgive me when I make mistakes or screw up and friends who never takes more from me than they can give back (this is important!)and impressively, friends who are respectful towards me and every other person in my life.

"Life without a friend is like death without a witness."
- Spanish Proverb