I believe that once you work with people, it's a must to learn the art of anger regulation! I remember a friend who told me last week of an incident where her boss suddenly burst out his anger (directed at my friend) in front of other people. I knew immediately how this friend of mine was affected because she cried her heart-out right after she went out of his office. Honestly--I knew from that time that I should comfort her and tell her soothing words, but you see, human as I am, my memory flashed back--back to the time when I had that very same experience with that same boss. Honestly, I cannot help but feel angry and eventually turn into a monster! I keep asking myself why he has to hurt another human being again through his unguarded rage--but i tried and succeeded in calming myself! As a psychologist, I always believe that people who are easily angered generally are those with very low tolerance for frustration, inconvenience or annoyance--but this reality should not give us the license to hurt others! It's simply unacceptable!
I had my share of the so called--"full-fledge rage"--but I feel that I am aware (thanks God!) of my emotions... although anger is a natural adaptive response to threats, we cannot physically and emotionally lash out at every person or even objects that irritates or annoys us. Many people believe that anger should be expressed--i cannot help but agree--anger should be expressed than suppressed---but i believe that the healthiest way to express this emotion is through assertive and sensitive means than via aggressive outburst. Everyone feel angry and says and does something he/she regrets after some time--this is normal...but when this anger is damaging relationships, making you (the source of anger) or the victim (of your rage) miserable and thus lead to losing respect (to self and you), then it's a sign that probably that person needs help. I'm a believer in the power of human relations. Anger management is a primary skill when working with people. I hope this boss will remember that more than the failure or the little annoyances or frustrations, he is still working with human beings--who--just like him--have feelings, imperfect (!), needs to be respected and most importantly---like HIM---a PERSON (with dignity!). Like Aristotle---I am a firm believer that anger is normal and an element of humanity--but be angry with the right person, with the right degree, the right time and for the right purpose and most importanly--the right way because you'll never know --you might make the best speech you will ever regret in your life! Whatever is begun in anger, always end up in shame!
