Last night I had a very unforgettable dream--it was so vivid and clear that until mid-morning today--the scenes kept playing over and over in my mind. The image of Lola Nanay (Nanay Paning) and Mama Cion talking to eachother was amazingly recreated with the backdrop of our old house in Nabua and the topic of their conversation was about the family...The two of them looked so alive in that dream--I heared them talk about keeping the family close and connected. It was a very short but very meaningful dream. Even though I have come a long long way in the study of scientific psychology, the meaning of dreams is still a bit of a mystery to me. DEspite of the freudian influence (that dreams are part of "my" reality), a part of me still believe in dreams as avenue for people (bodied and embodied) to closely connect with eachother.
As I stare at the blank screen of my laptop this morning, I can't help but really think about the meaning of that dream especially the theme of the conversation of Lola Nanay and Mama Cion--were they telling me something? Were they reminding me of family connections? what? The internet gave me clues to those questions. My default internet browser was yahoo but this morning, when I opened my computer, to my surprise, facebook appeared and the photos of my friends displayed on the leftmost section were surprisingly--all family members--all relatives--from both sides, lola paning and mama cion's! At first, it scared the hell out of me! believe me--i was shocked for about 3 minutes as I stared at my screen with flat affect! Now--how can psychology explain that surprising circumstances?!
Anyway, thinking deeply about it--i tried to silently protest--with the widespread success of internet and social networking, people are just simply a mouse-click away. digital photography and email has closely binded families together...but silently my mind started to reflect : IS THIS REALLY ENOUGH? True, technology has brought people closer--but in some ways, is this hampering us also to have a real intimate contact especially with our families?
For the past years, my family (both from mama lyd and papa tony's side) has considerably grown and multiplied. ALong with the growth, we started also to scatter around the world. Because of this, contacts became limited to hi's and hello's--to short messages of "how are you's" or to short and plain responses like "i'm okay". In other words, connections became more colder and emotions became a little distant. With this in mind, I started to ask myself--is it worth it?
I had a flashback to when one of my sisters got so depressed for not getting her long time dream--depressed, depleted and worn-out--I remember what my ate told her---"you have your family....at the end of the day, your world may crumble, your friends may come and go--but the family--it will be one constant element you will have in your life".
Then I remembered the story related to me by a friend--her aunt left her family for America, she suceeded so much there as a medical health practitioner. She happily stayed in america with her children and loving husband---her contact with her family grew fainter and fainter--but when she retired, grew a little bit older, she went back to the basic--she reconnected with her family and made a beautiful wish--to die with her family around....she made contact..she reconnected...
The question on my mind grew--am I going to wait until I am bed-bound to reconnect with family? So the challenge of trying to reconnect with family remains......Now more than ever, I am more drawn to believe that modern technology can never replace a warm hug or a long kwentuhan. When a family is built on love and devotion, we will always find ways to be close...if not in body then at least in spirit! Family is where our roots takes hold and from there we grow.
To my family and relatives--I hope we will not take our family bonds for granted..because with our love and sense of belongingness--we can mold a beautiful creation for today and the generations to come!I hope the attachments that our great grandparents successfully established were enough to carry all of us through life--whereever we may be.
