A blog follower of mine texted me last night and asked me to write my thoughts on dealing with jealousy in romantic relationships. Well, I felt flattered but partly too--I felt the pressure--pressure to sit down and think about it and understand the dynamics of this emotion. I handled few relationship problems in my therapy sessions with clients and I would like to really just start from there.
Jealousy as a powerful emotion at times can be normal in relationships. Of course, we 
all want to be protective and even a little possessive of the people we love and care about. Believe me--some partners like their other half to be a little jealous because one may feel valued and loved when one partner is slightly jealous.
all want to be protective and even a little possessive of the people we love and care about. Believe me--some partners like their other half to be a little jealous because one may feel valued and loved when one partner is slightly jealous. But jealousy can be distrubing and unhealthy too. We all think that jealousy is just one emotion...nah---it's a whole bundle of negative emotions like anger, hurt, betrayal, an
xiety, paranoia, sadness, depression and anxiety (whew!:-)!). Toxic jealousy takes possessiveness and protectiveness to the extremes making each situation and reaction inappropriate. If left unchecked and unprocessed, this "green eyed monster" can destroy relationships. It can tear relationships apart. Jealousy can cause insecurity, detachment or even plain immaturity.
xiety, paranoia, sadness, depression and anxiety (whew!:-)!). Toxic jealousy takes possessiveness and protectiveness to the extremes making each situation and reaction inappropriate. If left unchecked and unprocessed, this "green eyed monster" can destroy relationships. It can tear relationships apart. Jealousy can cause insecurity, detachment or even plain immaturity. Dealin
g and overcoming jealousy starts of course from AWARENESS. Awareness allows you to see your projected and unknown fears. Awareness of your feelings, emotions and fears will definitely allow you to see the triggers of jealousy. Awareness will be the start of RECOVERING your PERSONAL POWER CONTROL. Instead of exhibiting reactive behaviors, by awareness, you start to control your emotions and its expression.
g and overcoming jealousy starts of course from AWARENESS. Awareness allows you to see your projected and unknown fears. Awareness of your feelings, emotions and fears will definitely allow you to see the triggers of jealousy. Awareness will be the start of RECOVERING your PERSONAL POWER CONTROL. Instead of exhibiting reactive behaviors, by awareness, you start to control your emotions and its expression. Good Communication builds bridges. Jealousy will never ruin relationships if there is genuine and good communication. Open communication lines with partners--tell your loveones calmly and gently your fears, insecurities and beliefs (true or untrue). Chances are--your partner will reassure you of his/her love if you open healthy communication lines with him/her. Always choose the "win-win" solution in keeping your relationship.
Cognitive control is also very important--stop wasting your time thinking about your "fear of the unknown"..... instead ---think of ways that will make your relationship stable and satisfying! Remember--if you are confident that you are worth loving---why be afraid?!:-)At times, what you think (negatively about your partner) is not worth the trouble!
There is no definite and easy solution in dealing with jealousy in relationships--it usually requires trial and error and risk-taking to discover what works for you and your partner. So, instead of making a fuss---why dont you enjoy the wonderful relationship you have successfully created.
Happy Loving!
