Death and Dying

To an average man-death is by no means an unpleasant subject or talk for discussion. But why is death inevitable? Why does these painful partings robs life of its joys?To most of us, at some moment or another, the spectacle of death must have given rise to the deepest of thoughts and profoundest of questions!

Recently--I've been a witness to many losses---and talking about death is hard but it is only by understanding the purpose of death that we also understand the purpose of life.In facing the inevitableness of death, there are ghosts I must face, the emotions of loss - anger, confusion, sadness, and even the joy for those no longer suffering. It is a comfort to know that life never ends and that I am a part of the circle. Accepting the reality that I may soon die still gives me unexplainable fear.Going back to my recent experiences of death--the loss of a friend and little sister (April), my grandmother (Lola Nanay)---death is very near and very real to me. In my grief, I face my adversaries - my fears about my own death, my need to be in control, my anger that some things make no sense, my attachments in life and my fear of not finishing what I plan to accomplish in this lifetime. With every loss I take a real blow when Irealize that I have very little control over the most important "decision" about mylives-its length and its ending....but you see--it reminds me as well that I am nothing without God---death is a sonstant reminder that indeed--our life is owned by a supreme being--by a God who plans for everything for us.

ow--I'd rather not think my life will end too soon---my real concern now is on what would I do differently to make each day more rewarding, more fulfilling--at least before my cross over?The challenge remains on how I can create a personal heaven in this life.

As I write this entry--I cant help but think that dance of death is the realization that I will survive the loss of who I thought I were, who and what Ithought I needed, what I thought I could control. I smile with the sad excitement and anticipation of who or what I will become.

Fly High April!

Last December 7, 2008--I lost a dear friend---April Buenaflor. She had a car accident in Alberta, Canada where she now reside. April's death caught everyone of us off-guard. So young--so fresh--for death! For 4 years---April became a little sister to me---and her crossing over was a painful experience. Fly High Ape!!see you in heaven my lil sis!Please say hi to jesus for me!

Father You are calling April home.
Give her grace to lay aside everything which hinders this journey: Anger lurking, still unseen; resentments deep and unforgiven; desires that will never be fulfilled.

May the Spirit of life cleanse her soul and keep her in peace;
Holy Angels protect those she left behind; and Christ hold her hand on the lonely road which lies ahead.
Father You are calling April home:
We trust her into your loving arms.

Amen.

Blog Passion!

16 December 2008

16 December 2008--- one of the most significant days of my life---(well maybe because its only now that I was given enough courage to start my blog)--but most importantly---today---I am spiritually inspired to share my life's little mysteries to the whole world. I am not a writer--really---(i have a good editor though in my new book---"Fight the Bully Battle)---just struggling to write my thoughts and what i learned from life. For the past 31 years of my life--i won many battles, i succomb to many frustrations, I cried buckets of tears for losing so many people in my life, i cried my heart out in celebration of new friendships and I can see that---my life now is truly a tapestry of what GOD has planned for me from the beginning---and---believe it or not--I'm enjoying every bit of it! The pains, the laughters, the happiness and the blues--all of them are making my life really exciting. in my next entries---you will see how I look into my life---how God is making me a better person day by day....