Many have written and said their pieces on the recent tragedy in the family of Ted Failon (ABS-CBN). The media has sensationalized this event. From TV, print, radio, and specially in the internet. It’s one of the hottest news item in the web. I can see that many sympathizers are bothered by what they have been seeing in the news lately where Policemen are on an arresting spree with anyone who gets in their way. I’ve been following this story since the news broke out and what I am more concerned is the baseline issue of the story--the suicide of Ms. Etong. As a mental health professional, I am sad as the story unfolds---Mrs. Etong, before her suicide, showed signs, verbally made her plans known--but no one took the red flags seriously! I know her friends and family saw the warning signs---they were obvious in their stories---but they never taught she (mrs etong) would do it! I've been through a painful experience of losing a friend through suicide and what i learned from that experience is that we must approach the issue and the person with outmost depth and sincerity. After giving signs and red flags--friend and family must believe that the person could die before they even see him/her again.Almost everyone who commits or attempts suicide will show some clue or warning. Concerned friends and family members should not ignore these suicide threats. True concern and empathy are crucial. .
When I talk to families and friends of my clients who exhibits suicidal tendencies, they usually tell me that the suicidal person him/herself did not not ask for help--even if they see the signs BUT YOU SEE ----this does not also mean mean that help isn't wanted! Suicide prevention starts with recognizing the warning signs and taking them seriously. You might be afraid to bring up the subject, but talking openly about suicidal thoughts and feelings can save a life. Speak up if you're concerned and seek professional help immediately! Through understanding, reassurance, and support, you can help your loved one overcome thoughts of suicide.
So, how can we truly help a person showing the red flags?
1. Speak up--if you're worried for the person--tell the person honestly. If you're unsure whether that person is suicidal, the best way to find out is to ask him/her directly. Giving the individual the opportunity to express his or her feelings may prevent a suicide attempt. The person may even be relieved that you brought up the issue.
2. Respond Quickly. Do not, under any circumstances, leave a suicidal person alone! (i think this is what the friends and family of mrs etong failed to do!) Inform the family members and the trusted people of the suicidal perosn. Seek help if necessary!
3. It's also wise to remove guns, drugs, knives, and other potentially lethal objects from the vicinity. In some cases, involuntary hospitalization may be necessary to keep the person safe and prevent a suicide attempt.
4. Convince the person to seek help--in any form--spiritual or counseling. Do everything in your power to get a suicidal person the help he or she needs. Call a crisis line for advice and referrals. Encourage the person to see a mental health professional, help locate a treatment facility, or take them to a doctor's appointment.
For the meantime, let us leave the etong family for a while so they can grieve for their loss. As for us, there are hundreds of modest steps we can take to improve our response to a suicidal friend or family member--and ways to make it easier for them to seek help. Taking these modest steps can save many lives and reduce a great deal of human suffering.
