Helping Children One at a Time

In my personal advocacy, I always believe that child protection is considered a universal right essential to the survival and development of children. This right SHOULD first be protected and given by the state to our vulnerable population--the children. Many social scientists and political analyst believes that abuse, neglect, exploitation and discrimination are grave threats to the development of children, its citizenry and the whole community as a whole. But reality strikes us on the face---children now faces more abuses, exploitation and rejection. Every client in my center has their own stories to tell. Everyday, I am faced with the different faces of childhood pains and stuggle. Every child/teen gives me the urgent reason to start immediately whatever things I can do to help children one at a time–simply because the children cannot wait. They are the future of our country. Everytime I think about the real situation of the Filipino children--I cannot help but feel sad and frustrated for the kind of life they are now facing. Let me open your eyes on the real situation of our children:


● There are 37.6 million children (below 18 years old) in the current total population
● 70% of these children live in the rural areas
● 11 million Filipinos live in extreme poverty (Global Hunger Index).
● Children in poverty situation is about 80% of its total population given that average family income has declined by more than 30% since 2001 up to now (IBON).
● Hunger hits new record high of 19% (8 million families) in last quarter of 2006, while hunger remains high in Mindanao at 22% (Social Weather Station).
● 8 out 10 Filipinos cannot afford health care. (Health Alliance for Democracy)
● About 5 million are working children, aged 5-17. Child labor is mainly rural and male; 94% are 10-14 years old.
● About 3 million of them are engaging in worst forms of child labor such as in commercial sexual exploitation, plantation farms, mining and quarrying, etc. 180,000 are child miners (PACT)
● 1.5 million street children; increasing annually by 630,000 – and are vulnerable to prostitution and trafficking.

There are about 37.6 million children (below 18 years old) in the current total population and 70% of these children are living in the rural areas. Children are vulnerable due to socio-economic status and for being a child. In the case of girl-child, vulnerability is tripled with the addition of gender as a sensitive issue.

Given this and the present state of Filipino children, one can conclude that the Philippines still has a long way to go in terms of building a beautiful future for our children. Much still needs to be done especially in the areas of child protection, welfare and health. Child-focused agencies should be strengthened to ensure their effective response to children’s needs. Communities assisting children need to be empowered and supported.This what really motivated me to put up my center--CHILDREN AND YOUTH WELLNESS TECHNICAL AND ADVOCACY CENTER (CYWTAC). Through this center, we hope to be able to transform in a positive way the lives of children and young people at risk--- ONE AT A TIME!

CYWTAC---Since 2005, has paved the way in the promotion of total wellness in children and teens, prevention of violence and neglect against children … keeping children safe. We also hope to strengthen families by integrating various psychological interventions and approaches to help children who have been in difficult circumstances and their families.CYWTAC through its educational programs hope to redefine parenting and create kid success with prevention strategies and positive changes in parenting and family attitudes through seminars and training programs. Our goal is to build strong and healthy children, teens and communities through prevention, empowerment and hope.

COME--DREAM WITH US! It only takes a minute to hurt a child and destroy a life BUT it ALSO takes a minute to make a difference!

My SpEciAl DaTeS

Every weekend--I always look forward to my special dates---dates with my clients (children and teens) at the center (I founded a wellness center for children and teens) and each meeting rejuvenates my entire being. Every meeting gives me new lessons to learn and virtues to reflect on---honestly--my weekly sessions with my clients makes me appreciate life more. In most instances--I prefer to be with children than with unhealthy (in all aspects) adults. Children are innocent and open to life fully. When they pretend, they know it is only pretending. There is no greater innocence on the face this earth had than children. Likewise, there is nothing more marvelous that one can do than affirm the innocence of children. If there is one thing I learned from children and from adults, it is that adults think they should teach children, but on the contrary, there is more for adults to learn from children than they have to teach them. Not that we should not do our best to prepare the little ones for the life they will have to take part in, but as adults we are trying to let go of much we have been miss-taught in order to become sane again.





My dear little friends always remind me how important it is to be joyous. In the midst of my extremely hectic life, they always make me stop and find the wonder in every little things, how to be trilled by the stories of old friends and how to experience heart felt laughter at the antics of other people's humor. I am deeply grateful for my weekly contacts with my little teachers because they keep me sane. When faced with boredom or stress, they always make me look at different avenues to have fun.

As a trainer, and as someone who has a vested interest in the growth and development sessions for people (regardless of whether I’m a part of it or not), I’m fortunate to carry around this kernel of kindergarten wisdom to summarize my weekly learning from my little teachers. Let us (adults) always be reminded that the most basic aspects of life bear its most important opportunities.In today's chaotic world, may these little reminders (from our children) resonate even deeper — in our inner core as we discover how universal insights can be found in children's wisdom and in ordinary events:

May we all find that teacher within us, to guide us home to the Heart of Laughter and Joy.

ALL I REALLY NEED TO KNOW I LEARNED IN KINDERGARTEN

All I really need to know about how to live and what to do and how to be I learned in kindergarten.

Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sand pile at school. These are the things I learned:

Share everything.

Play fair.

Don't hit people.

Put things back where you found them.

Clean up your own mess.

Don't take things that aren't yours.

Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.

Wash your hands before you eat.

Flush.

Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.

Live a balanced life - learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.

Take a nap every afternoon.

When you go out in the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands and stick together.

Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup: the roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that.

Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup - they all die. So do we.

And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books and the first word you learned - the biggest word of all - LOOK.

The OBAMA FeVer

My mother and father are probably one of the billions who slept late last night just to witness the extra-magical (and expensive in the midst of financial crisis!duh!) inaguration (should i say global inaguration?!) of Barack Obama! my parents (who use to sleep at 9 PM) were widely awake the entire inaguration rites--glued to CNN and HBO (even the movie channel was bitten by the obama fever!) as they listen to the excitement-filled speech of the first afro-american president. A man who 12 weeks ago was a mere political candidate was transformed before a vast crowd and a television audience in the hundreds of millions if not billions, into the head of state of the most powerful nation on earth. whew--if only the television sets could talk--im sure they will complain of nausea due to this phenomenal obama fever!. As I look into the charisma of obama--i cant help but understand why americans, asians and africans go "ga-ga" over this new president---not only because he looks so righteous but he does seem blessed with the poise and stature that befits a head of state. His governance theme also fits to the current situation of america and the world--that's why he probably won the hearts of the the americans and the world as well. His theme of responsibility, the notion that government cannot solve America's vast problems alone, that everyone has to pitch in, fits nicely with his insistence that he will be able to work no miracles as president; that tackling the deepening economic crisis will be the stuff of long and cooperative hard work. Many Filipinos can somehow relate to his theme---obama's governance is a ray of hope for filipinos. Like his governance--Filipinos also know that in terms of solving the numerous Philippine problems--there will be no overnight fix. Everybody has to pitch in-Obama's caution and realism only make people admire him more. Obama's paradoxes of a man who insists that he is no magician - is a ray of hope for nations of desperate state.

AnGels On EaRtH

No one can deny the supreme sacrifice and care parents renders to their children. After the birth of each child , parents looks after him/her and brings him/her up with enormous love and tender affection. I cannot deny that my parents brought me and my siblings in that kind of condition. No wonder--all of us grew up to be good children (in my own standards of course!), God-fearing ( at least no one among us committed crime against person or property!--yet!) and family-loving persons (special mention are my sisters who have a family of their own!).

My father is special. He is always there whenever we need him. He provides everything that we need (he is a good provider, capable, willing to labor hard to provide shelter for his family!). His presence in our life is one of the reason why I cannot stop being grateful to God for giving me a special guardian--my FAther! For me, everyday is a day to celebrate the goodness of his fatherhood! I strongly believe that my father should not judged by how much he earned or how many material goods he can provide or have provided. What does matter is how he introduced, educated, and guided his children to what is good and morally right. My father clearly achieved that!When I look back on my relationship with my father, I have numerous memories of playing, enjoying and looking at life seriously with him. My father gave me a wonderful opportunity to learn how to encourage, to warn, to teach, to counsel, and to model Christian life without insecurity, selfishness or pride. Truly, he is a blessing!

The passionate love, the natural grace and the influence of my mother to me and my siblings are unconditionally rewarding beyond all virtues. Like Mama Mary, Mama Lyd showed us how it is to be perfectly submissive to God and that His (GOd) perfect will should be concretize in all our actions. For 31 years, my mother patiently showed all the motherly virtues: compassion for children (Isaiah 49:15), comfort of children (Isaiah 66:13) and sorrow for children (Jeremiah 31:15, Matthew 2:18). She is happy when her children are happy, sad when her children are in sorow and always ready to sacrifice when needed. Mama Lyd is like a beautiful flower that is ever-blossoming irregardless of season. She offers all the hope of a rainbow that follows a spring shower and does not fail to put a ray of smile into the troubled heart of her child, thus mending all its woes and keeping it warm.

Though we are duty-bound to honour our parents, many times we fail so miserably even to spare quality time with them... I know I am guilty of that too! As I go on with my fragile life--I know that I will forever be grateful for the love my mother and father shared with me and my siblings. They were perfectly sent to us by God. They will forever remain as our pillars of strength...our angels on earth!

StResS@WoRk

My work is stressful--I must admit that!With the changing lifestyle, demands and pressures at work, I find it harder than ever to cope with challenges on the job--which I bet many people can relate with as well! Both the stress I take with me when I go to work and the stress that awaits me on the job are on the rise – and employers and subordinates all feel the added pressures!As I reflect on my job--I soon realized that the nature of my work is changing at whirlwind speed. Perhaps now more than ever before, job stress poses a threat to my self (physically) and my colleagues as well.

While some stress is a normal part of life, excessive stress interferes with your productivity and reduces one's physical and emotional health, so it’s important to find ways to keep it under control. Fortunately, there's a lot that we can do to manage and reduce stress at work. The ability to manage stress in the workplace can make the difference between success or failure on the job. So, what are the stress management techniques that works for me(that may work for you too!)---let me share them with you:

MY STRESS SUTRA

1. I make reading a stress-reliever! For some--reading can be a source of stress but for me--reading is something that relaxes me! When I read--its like I'm in another lifetime---reading transports me to a different world.

2. Balance between work and family or personal life. I personally see to it that I dont bring work at home. Spending time with family and friends help me recover my depleted energy! I always remind myself that heavy workload, infrequent rest breaks, long work hours and shiftwork; hectic and routine tasks that have little inherent meaning, do not utilize my full skills and provide little sense of control!So why not take a break if you feel that stress building. Walk away from the situation. Take a stroll around the block, sit on a park bench, or spend a few minutes meditating. Exercise does wonders for the psyche. But even just finding a quiet place and listening to your iPod can reduce stress. (I love my ipod really---it makes wonders!)Personally, when I am stressed out--I find and protect whatever time I get to refresh, re-energize and re-motivate myself. I spend quality time with my family because they are excellent source of emotional and moral support.

3. A support network of friends and coworkers matters a lot! Family and friends do wonders in terms of stress management! In my case---im more than happy to have supportive collegues and bosses! Their presence matters a lot in terms of my own stress management coping skills! Truly--they possess the GIFT OF PRESENCE!

4. A relaxed and positive outlook matters. Staying connected with my internal emotional experience help me manage my own emotions. Knowing what you are feeling will not only add to your self confidence and improve your self control but enhance your understanding of others and help you build more satisfying relationships.

5. I cultivate allies at work. Just knowing that I have one or more co-workers who are willing to assist me in times of stress truly reduces my stress level. I just always remember to reciprocate and help them when they are in need as well.

6. I find humor in the situation. When I– or people around me– start taking things too seriously, I find a way to break through with laughter by sharing a joke or funny story. Believe me---it works!

Today, job stress is more common than in any other days and the competition being cut throat, people will persevere through anything.Knowing every factor about stress and how it affects you will enable you to deal with stress more specifically because you will be able to identify every aspect of stress at work. Always remember that we are always in control of our life----so we can manage stress!

HAPPY WORKING!

Single and Satisfied!

Im 31---single, unattached and happy! Little has been spoken about being single at 31----fairytales painfully strikes me hard on my face especially the part where-- living “happily ever after” meant finding your Prince Charming or Princess and being saved from a life of loneliness (duh!). Living single at 31 in my province is truly a struggle---(relatives always remind you of your being always the bridesmaid and never the bride!). Unspoken languge is pressingly painful when people start asking you the brutal question of: "have you not met mr right yet?!--what a pity!)If I could shout to the world that its fun to be single--i would--just imagine the enormous benefits of being happy and unattached! In being single:

• You don't have to feel guilty about staring at an extremely handsome man in the coffee shop. Dating is a fun activity. You get to know new people and you can have casual about anything and everything


• Your money is your own. If you want to spent your mothly salary in Hong KOng or plainly divisoria--- it's entirely up to you. There's no one to nag you to put it in the bank for a rainy day (except when your parents enters the picture!)


• By being single--you manage your moods by your own--your partner can’t come home and dampen your mood! You can frown even until you close your eyes to sleep! and the extreme part of it--you dont suffer in silence--when your partner SNORES!


• You can decorate and redecorate your room--or house--anytime! No one will nag you to pick your own trash! You also won’t have to pick up socks or underwear that isn’t yours! (imagine!)


• You don’t answer to anyone. If friday is your yoga day--or poker game with friends no one can tell you otherwise. If you want to go to the gym or eat popcorn for dinner? Go ahead and be merry!


• You can devote more time to your career.


• Meet your friends whenever you’d like and "ukay" to the max!


• You only have one set of family and relatives (in laws!) to deal with. While it can be great to have a large family , it can also be a pain in the ass at times. If you’re someone that prefers a more quiet dinner and holidays by just dealing with one goofy family (your own!), being single can afford you a calmer celebration.

Please dont get me wrong--I am an advocate of married life--if you feel that IT IS PART OF GOD'S PLAN FOR YOU (and you're conscious about it) --JUST GO FOR IT--but if you feel that god is calling you in this kind of life (single blessedness!) then--don't die of desperation---there is life in being single and unattached!

a time for everything

Life's Little Lessons

I always believe that the greatest teacher is LIFE! everyday--a marvelous lesson is taught.With every new day---exciting lifetime opportunities unfolds in our very eyes...and we have to be prepared to face all of these mysteries----opportunities to LIVE--TO LEARN AND TO GROW. As we little by little open our eyes to the wonders of life's lesson---our awakenness becomes distinct and define. As i reflect on my life now--I cant help but ponder on life's little lessons and see how I've been learning.

A. On self-love. I believe that the easiest thing to do in the world and yet we are so afraid to do is is to be US--to express who we really are. Truly, many times, its difficult to just be ourselves...so many people expects something different from us---these expectations usually leads us to another direction--at times--much different from what we truly want for ourselves.

B. On Affection and Warmth. Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn our and other people's lives around. The world had been turning upside-down--making all of us cold even in our expression of love and care. We need not be afraid to touch, to feel or to show emotion. The easiest thing in the world is to be what and who we are, what we feel. The hardest thing to be is what other people want us to be.

C. On our human needs.We need others just as we need ourselves. We need others to love and we need to be loved in return. There is no doubt that without it, we too, like the infant left alone, would cease to grow, cease to develop, choose madness and even death.But now--how come there is so much loneliness, so much pain and so much feeling of so "unloved" in people? Isnt not that if we miss love--we're missing life too?

Life is turly our responsibility--let us learn from each lessons and see what we can do to live life to the fullest. The challenge continues.....

Heaven is never too far

Around 1 AM today, my family received a news that brought so much sadness and grief in my heart. As if God was reminding me of my mortality that he once again asked one of my family members to cross over and join him in heaven. This event again reminded me of the reality of life. Truly, death does not come when it is expected—like a thief in the night. When a family member dies, the whole family is plunged into despair. It is heartbreaking to imagine that this person who was previously so active and full of life—now lying physically—as if feeling numb and empty. Lola A spent most of her lifetime with my family. She was my mother’s nanny (yaya) when she was 11 years old. She remained as the yaya until my mother (an only child) got married, gave birth to 6 children and until all her wards (alaga’s) graduated college. Lola A is not your ordinary and typical nanny—her love for my grandmother (Lola A vowed to take care of the family until the end), for my mother and us was something extraordinary—magical and unconditional. She was more than a nanny—she was like a mother—a doting mother actually. The loyalty and faithfulness she showed to my family was something one cannot fathom easily. Weeks before she died she told me in our informal conversation how much she’s proud of all of us. I know in my heart—she is a huge part of what we are now as persons. Lola A together with my grandmother must be smiling in heaven for such a beautiful accomplishment. Together with my parents, they produced children who all grew up to be people of virtue. They created 2 priests, 2 college professors who are truly happy with their family life and 2 young adults both doing well in their chosen careers…all God fearing and lovable as persons.

Lola A as you now start your journey in heaven---let our love bring you home and show you the way to eternal happiness. The love and care you showed to us through the years will be enough to sustain us through our own lifetime. Together with Nanay Paning---Fly High Lola A….fly high….heaven is never too far Lola A! You’ll still be in our hearts –while you are in heaven—watch over us and continue teaching us—guide us—Lola A, you have taught us so much but we know there is still so much to know… Lola A---no matter how far away you seem ---heaven is never too far!

Music for Healing

I love music!really!music is one thing that i cant remove from my system---my colleagues at work and my family can attest to that! my morning will not be a good start without music either on my laptop, desktop or my ipod! When i travel---i have music with me as companion--in my old rusty car---my cd player turns on automatically when i turn on the engine (if the car could talk!)---truly--music is a huge part of me. You will not probably believe me--but--i also use music in my work--as a therapist and life coach. Music then is a big part of my healing ministry--I use music to help heal my clients on multiple levels--physiologically and psychologically. From my experiences--i know how music touches the spirit ---I assess my own and my client's emotional well-being, physical health, social functioning, communication abilities, and cognitive skills through musical responses; I enculcate music in all my group sessions, trainings and support groups using music improvisation based on the nature of my sessions, I apply receptive music listening, song writing, lyric discussion, music and imagery in my deeper interventions. Music is truly a gift from God! Most of my psychologist-friends told me that i am not the typical therapist---i sing with my client, i give counseling at a coffee shop, I do chat (ym) counseling and I ask my clients to use music to help them in their personal healings. In working with children, I always believe that music holds the delightful element of play. Play-filled music experiences provide children the quality repetition necessary to maintain the their interest and motivate them toward the mastering of therapy goals and skills. Allow me then to share with you several songs (some of them were even chart toppers!) i love to use as a healing tool---

1. Healing by Jed Mandela (beautiful!)--watch the video I made using this song!
2. Reflections-Mulan Soundtrack
3. There for me by Josh Groban
4. And other Josh Groban Songs
5. I can-Regine Velasquez (what an empowering song!)
6. Journey to the past-anastasia sound track
7. Songs of Natalie Grant (totally love the songs: "held" and "in better hands"--jaw dropper!)
8. Because of you by kelly clarkson
9. The Healing Songs in the Kris Aquino Healing Album (i love all the songs!)
10. Most of Phil Collin songs
11. other disney movies soundtracks

Happy Listening! enjoy the gift of music!