Single and Satisfied!

Im 31---single, unattached and happy! Little has been spoken about being single at 31----fairytales painfully strikes me hard on my face especially the part where-- living “happily ever after” meant finding your Prince Charming or Princess and being saved from a life of loneliness (duh!). Living single at 31 in my province is truly a struggle---(relatives always remind you of your being always the bridesmaid and never the bride!). Unspoken languge is pressingly painful when people start asking you the brutal question of: "have you not met mr right yet?!--what a pity!)If I could shout to the world that its fun to be single--i would--just imagine the enormous benefits of being happy and unattached! In being single:

• You don't have to feel guilty about staring at an extremely handsome man in the coffee shop. Dating is a fun activity. You get to know new people and you can have casual about anything and everything


• Your money is your own. If you want to spent your mothly salary in Hong KOng or plainly divisoria--- it's entirely up to you. There's no one to nag you to put it in the bank for a rainy day (except when your parents enters the picture!)


• By being single--you manage your moods by your own--your partner can’t come home and dampen your mood! You can frown even until you close your eyes to sleep! and the extreme part of it--you dont suffer in silence--when your partner SNORES!


• You can decorate and redecorate your room--or house--anytime! No one will nag you to pick your own trash! You also won’t have to pick up socks or underwear that isn’t yours! (imagine!)


• You don’t answer to anyone. If friday is your yoga day--or poker game with friends no one can tell you otherwise. If you want to go to the gym or eat popcorn for dinner? Go ahead and be merry!


• You can devote more time to your career.


• Meet your friends whenever you’d like and "ukay" to the max!


• You only have one set of family and relatives (in laws!) to deal with. While it can be great to have a large family , it can also be a pain in the ass at times. If you’re someone that prefers a more quiet dinner and holidays by just dealing with one goofy family (your own!), being single can afford you a calmer celebration.

Please dont get me wrong--I am an advocate of married life--if you feel that IT IS PART OF GOD'S PLAN FOR YOU (and you're conscious about it) --JUST GO FOR IT--but if you feel that god is calling you in this kind of life (single blessedness!) then--don't die of desperation---there is life in being single and unattached!

a time for everything

Life's Little Lessons

I always believe that the greatest teacher is LIFE! everyday--a marvelous lesson is taught.With every new day---exciting lifetime opportunities unfolds in our very eyes...and we have to be prepared to face all of these mysteries----opportunities to LIVE--TO LEARN AND TO GROW. As we little by little open our eyes to the wonders of life's lesson---our awakenness becomes distinct and define. As i reflect on my life now--I cant help but ponder on life's little lessons and see how I've been learning.

A. On self-love. I believe that the easiest thing to do in the world and yet we are so afraid to do is is to be US--to express who we really are. Truly, many times, its difficult to just be ourselves...so many people expects something different from us---these expectations usually leads us to another direction--at times--much different from what we truly want for ourselves.

B. On Affection and Warmth. Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn our and other people's lives around. The world had been turning upside-down--making all of us cold even in our expression of love and care. We need not be afraid to touch, to feel or to show emotion. The easiest thing in the world is to be what and who we are, what we feel. The hardest thing to be is what other people want us to be.

C. On our human needs.We need others just as we need ourselves. We need others to love and we need to be loved in return. There is no doubt that without it, we too, like the infant left alone, would cease to grow, cease to develop, choose madness and even death.But now--how come there is so much loneliness, so much pain and so much feeling of so "unloved" in people? Isnt not that if we miss love--we're missing life too?

Life is turly our responsibility--let us learn from each lessons and see what we can do to live life to the fullest. The challenge continues.....

Heaven is never too far

Around 1 AM today, my family received a news that brought so much sadness and grief in my heart. As if God was reminding me of my mortality that he once again asked one of my family members to cross over and join him in heaven. This event again reminded me of the reality of life. Truly, death does not come when it is expected—like a thief in the night. When a family member dies, the whole family is plunged into despair. It is heartbreaking to imagine that this person who was previously so active and full of life—now lying physically—as if feeling numb and empty. Lola A spent most of her lifetime with my family. She was my mother’s nanny (yaya) when she was 11 years old. She remained as the yaya until my mother (an only child) got married, gave birth to 6 children and until all her wards (alaga’s) graduated college. Lola A is not your ordinary and typical nanny—her love for my grandmother (Lola A vowed to take care of the family until the end), for my mother and us was something extraordinary—magical and unconditional. She was more than a nanny—she was like a mother—a doting mother actually. The loyalty and faithfulness she showed to my family was something one cannot fathom easily. Weeks before she died she told me in our informal conversation how much she’s proud of all of us. I know in my heart—she is a huge part of what we are now as persons. Lola A together with my grandmother must be smiling in heaven for such a beautiful accomplishment. Together with my parents, they produced children who all grew up to be people of virtue. They created 2 priests, 2 college professors who are truly happy with their family life and 2 young adults both doing well in their chosen careers…all God fearing and lovable as persons.

Lola A as you now start your journey in heaven---let our love bring you home and show you the way to eternal happiness. The love and care you showed to us through the years will be enough to sustain us through our own lifetime. Together with Nanay Paning---Fly High Lola A….fly high….heaven is never too far Lola A! You’ll still be in our hearts –while you are in heaven—watch over us and continue teaching us—guide us—Lola A, you have taught us so much but we know there is still so much to know… Lola A---no matter how far away you seem ---heaven is never too far!

Music for Healing

I love music!really!music is one thing that i cant remove from my system---my colleagues at work and my family can attest to that! my morning will not be a good start without music either on my laptop, desktop or my ipod! When i travel---i have music with me as companion--in my old rusty car---my cd player turns on automatically when i turn on the engine (if the car could talk!)---truly--music is a huge part of me. You will not probably believe me--but--i also use music in my work--as a therapist and life coach. Music then is a big part of my healing ministry--I use music to help heal my clients on multiple levels--physiologically and psychologically. From my experiences--i know how music touches the spirit ---I assess my own and my client's emotional well-being, physical health, social functioning, communication abilities, and cognitive skills through musical responses; I enculcate music in all my group sessions, trainings and support groups using music improvisation based on the nature of my sessions, I apply receptive music listening, song writing, lyric discussion, music and imagery in my deeper interventions. Music is truly a gift from God! Most of my psychologist-friends told me that i am not the typical therapist---i sing with my client, i give counseling at a coffee shop, I do chat (ym) counseling and I ask my clients to use music to help them in their personal healings. In working with children, I always believe that music holds the delightful element of play. Play-filled music experiences provide children the quality repetition necessary to maintain the their interest and motivate them toward the mastering of therapy goals and skills. Allow me then to share with you several songs (some of them were even chart toppers!) i love to use as a healing tool---

1. Healing by Jed Mandela (beautiful!)--watch the video I made using this song!
2. Reflections-Mulan Soundtrack
3. There for me by Josh Groban
4. And other Josh Groban Songs
5. I can-Regine Velasquez (what an empowering song!)
6. Journey to the past-anastasia sound track
7. Songs of Natalie Grant (totally love the songs: "held" and "in better hands"--jaw dropper!)
8. Because of you by kelly clarkson
9. The Healing Songs in the Kris Aquino Healing Album (i love all the songs!)
10. Most of Phil Collin songs
11. other disney movies soundtracks

Happy Listening! enjoy the gift of music!

A new year--a new beginning

Its new year! Time to jump start the new year with new life! This new beginning is a perfect time for me to start in a blank slate--smooth the way for a new life ahead! As i look back--i felt that God has been good---blessings poured out and so as trials that made me a stronger femme! with the memories of 2008---i can only look back and smile---2008 had been a good year for me! the blessings were enormous than the trials (or its the other way around--only that i overfocus on the blessings rather than on the trials!).For this year-- i promise to concentrate on what is important to me--my family, my advocacy and my career. For this year too, i hope to be thankful for the new and out with the old---probably give honor where honor is due and most importantly---forget about what Ihear from others (especially the backfighting--the criticism that is intended to hinder my personal goals) and just focus on what my life can produce!

One of my closest friend told me that in order for my life to be measurable--i should learn to make and plan for concrete goals every year. True enough--when i started writing down what i wanted to do with my life last year---my life had direction! really.

so for this year-- i hope to:

1. Finish another manuscript for publishing (really?!!)

2. pay all my debts! (credit cards!)--

3. finish my PHD! (really?!)

4. exercise more! (hahahahaha)

5. How about looking for the right guy?(duh!)

I dont want to put more exceptional goals--the first 4 above are enough and the fifth one--maybe a bonus!--at least for this year!

RapU-rApU Fan!

I love Rapu-Rapu island! God must have loved this island so much that he blessed this small and fragile island with scenic beaches, lush and abundant flora and fauna, boundless mineral richness and marine bio-diversity, Rapu-Rapu Island is a gateway to the Pacific Ocean and serves as the natural breakwater of the Albay Gulf from natural onslaughts. My 3 days stay at Rapu-Rapu proved to be truly rewarding. The people are great (especially the Baldres Family--who willingly adopted us!) and the island itself is one of the best!

Rapu-Rapu island----until our next visit!

ThE BeautY of CaTanduAneS

Lying east of Bicol mainland, Catanduanes is an island paradise in the Pacific. While many Filipinos dream of swimming in the blue sea water of phuket, thailand---the locals of Catanduanes are lucky enough to have their own version of the beautiful thailand within their neighboorhood--virgin and unspoiled. Thevisit to this island is more than just exploring its unspoiled beaches or enjoying surfing at Puraran Beach located on the northside.
Catanduanes offers much more. It is rich in history, blending quaintly with the peaceful jutting mountains all over the island.

Believe me--island life is not as quiet as it seems in Catanduanes! This island, which they also call, “An Eco-Adventure Paradise,” is for those who like nature at its best. The whole strip of this pearly island of the Pacific is almost untouched, unblemished, and unexplored. It has a long string of palm-fringed beaches and deep blue waters against a backdrop of luxuriant grassy mountains, and a totally laid-back rural charm and crowned with jewel-like island. You will be dazzled by the provinces' rugged and various landscapes, undiscovered caves, tamed white sand beaches and colorful marine life. You will never really expect such a wonderful gift of nature exists in this country. Mabuhay ang Catanduanes!

Surviving the Jungle

Suriviving the modern jungle today is one of the greatest challenges to humankind. the jungle I am referring to is none other than--OUR WORK! Life and work balance for many people is paramount to their happiness. -With the dawning of the new decade (of poverty and terrible financial crisis)-it's a common belief that work is nose-to-the-grindstone drudgery and that loving—truly enjoying—one's job is impossible.

I am a multi-spirited worker. I wake up six o'clok in the morning--and be at my work seven-thirty even if my duty calls at nine, i stay in the office til 7:30 in the evening and do my work with less than 30 mins break every day.... maintaning that "work spirit" is enormously challenging; upholding a positive and open state of mind, a full sense of self and a sense of higher order can be truly difficult ( especially if people around you at times fails to look at the energy with the same intensity and intention). But however difficult work can be---I make sure that I have the "fun" energy to start the day. I'm a firm believer that the more joyful and excited a person feels about his/her work, the more the productivity goes up. There's no question about it.

Prodded by a quest for the higher efficiency needed to compete in the career-market, I am now personally jumping on this so called "love your job" bandwagon. Even if most of the time I get so much pressure from work, i still try to look at it as something joyful. Honestly, there's a great relief when I connect with my work--emotionally. Most of the time, work is the natural and the crucial way for me to express who I really am. As another day comes, I believe its still up to each of us to take responsibility for our own job satisfaction---loving your work is a mental state and it begins with looking into our very own "work-spirit".

Happy working!

ThE GiFt of CHrIsTmAs

Christmas season is fast approaching! im excited as usual---for the greetings of friends, the gifts and the reunion of families! truly christmas is a merry season! It is hard to believe that Christmas is just around the corner. Time once again to dig out the decorations, send Christmas cards to friends and relatives and check out the flyers and catalogues to find the perfect gifts to place under the tree for our loved ones. But more than of course the things I mentioned--I am more appreciative of this season because I know this solemn moment reminds us of how God demonstrates his own love for us in this season, that while we were still sinners, Christ was sent to us by the Father to die for us. His birth was the beginning of our salvation. The yearly Christmas season is God's reminder of his infinite love and because of this great love, he gave his only Son, Jesus, on that first Christmas as a babe who had taken on himself the disease of mankind's sin.

As the world becomes so materialistic, many of us seem to lose sight of what this season is really all about, as we stress ourselves to the limit, battling the crowds in the malls looking for the newest must-have gadgets for us, for our families, friends and loveones. This christmas, let us all remember the main essence of this special season and focus more on greatest gifts you can give your loveones that will nourish their spirits and yet do not have to cost you a dime.

• Give your loveones your precious time as a gift!


• Hug more!do not be afraid to express and show your affection!According to family therapist Virginia Satir, we need four hugs a day for survival, eight hugs for maintenance and a minimum of twelve hugs a day to thrive. Scientists have even proven that hugging generates "oxytocin", the feel-good hormone that is involved in social recognition and bonding, and might even be responsible for trust between people.


• Tell people you love and care for them!You may think your love ones know you love them; but it is important that you tell them every chance you get how much you care and love them.


• Nurture the Self-esteem of your loveones. The gift of self-esteem is the greatest gift of all. By your words and actions you are having a HUGE impact on how your loveones feel about themselves. BUILD PEOPLE!

That's what the Christmas story is all about. It is the greatest Christmas gift of all time. It is God's Christmas gift to you and to me.