Living Life Fully Even in Turbulent Times

Is it possible to live life fully even in times of difficulty? a question that rocks the human spirit!

Almost everyone is carrying some amount of distress (in varying degrees)--be it in our relationship with people and oneself, in the work or even in simple routinary life events. . Many find it increasingly difficult to simply survive in the world. Truly it's difficult to persevere amidst the complexities of life. Perseverance is the capacity to keep going even long after the passion for our career, work or relationships has dissipated. It is a continuous and conscious choice to not give up, no matter the circumstances.

Because of the difficulties of life, society is now inundated with self-help books, therapists, time-management workshops, massage parlors, and recovery programs (to name just the tip of the iceberg) for immediate relief. Some would even be willing to accept any interventions even if it could only give temporary relief.

In my short reflection, I thought about the theory of "going back to basic". Everyone talks about returning to a "simpler" way of life, but no one seems to even know exactly what that means, or how to attain it.

In my complicated life--i can't help but purposely live a "simplier life". I vow to re-engineer my life and just live life one baby steps at a time. In my facebook shout-out, I mentioned about living my life "now" as it is in the present. Stressing about the unknown and the future could instill fear in my heart. So what is important is the NOW..live myself in the present!

Let me share some of my little reflections on life:

1. I will try not to live in FEAR. Fear is probably the biggest reason many of us do not always live our lives fully. Especially if you are doing something new, it can be intimidating and scary. If you allow the fear to stop you from doing something you know you really want to do, you are allowing that fear to keep you from living your life fully.

2. Clean My Clutter. Getting rid of excess clutter can help free myself and thus enjoy the things that really matter. This one is not limited to the clutter in my physiocal world but even the clutter of people I had and have in my life. I learned that at the end of the day, you cannot please everyone--so might as well--focus my energy on people I care and love (vice versa).

3. Be Careful with too much RESENTMENT. Holding on to feelings of resentment toward people I feel have wronged me can distract me from living life fully. Imay feel and even be totally justified with my feelings for things others have done that hurt me. However, if I hold on to those feelings, I am only harming yourself further.

4. Avoid Being Lethargic. When I feel low in energy and unmotivated, the worst thing I can do is give into it for an extended period of time. the longer I stay inactive, the less motivated I will be. Activity energizes me--so i should invest on quality activities which will not only benefit myself but the great majority as well.

Life is a journey and I repeatedly remind myself to enjoy that journey!

Friendship 101

A blog follower of mine asked me to write about friendship...specifically on the qualities of a true and genuine friendship.It took me 2 long and enduring weeks to gather my thoughts and let my left brain speak for myself.

I started with a very simple yet difficult question: "How can we find true friendship in this often phony, temporary world?"..such a complex point for reflection. But let me try putting my thoughts on this.


I can say that I am blessed to have so many friends and a few really exclusive friends..While some people struggle to find friends, in my case, it was fate who brought me to my trusted friends today. What is really unique in my beautiful close friendships, they are established over time and amazingly--no words were exchanged to signify the connection--it was like a DNA naturally-fixed together--quietly established without announcing to the world--we just felt it quietly among us..:-)

I am blessed to have very few people around me who never uttered words but showed mutual desire for companionship and perhaps a common bond of some kind. Beyond that though, my genuine friendship experiences involved a shared sense of caring and concern, a desire to see one another grow and develop, and a hope for each other to succeed in all aspects of life. One great friendship formula though (from my experiences) is that: friendship takes time: time to get to know each other, time to build shared memories, time to invest in each other's growth.

True enough I also unluckily met people who once appeared to be potential friends but later on--discovering its not worth the healthy connection. Like the imperfect world, there are people I met who failed to possess faithfullness factor which is a key element in relationships. For me, faithfulness and loyalty are keys to true friendship. Without them, we often feel betrayed, left out, and lonely. In true friendship, there is no backbiting, no negative thoughts, no turning away.

True friendship requires certain accountability factors. Real friends encourage one another and forgive one another where there has been an offense. Genuine friendship supports during times of struggle. Friends are dependable. In true friendship, unconditional love develops. We love our friends no matter what and we always want the best for our friends. Furthermore, a true friend desires your happiness and joy and does not get upset when good things happen to you, just because good things aren't happening to them.

A true friend is a blessing and hard to come by, most of us only get one or two in a lifetime. Count your blessings today by counting the TRUE FRIENDS in your life!

Happy COunting!

Reflections on Relationships

For the past months, I have been quietly carving my life lessons in my heart..waiting for the right time to finally be able to write my thoughts and reflections. Today, I would like to focus more on relationships. Allow me then to share the little reflections I got from my recent life events:

FIRST: There is no perfect relationship. No perfect people.

Allow me to share with you this story. A man, desperate to find his perfect mate went to a local matchmaking agency. When asked about his purpose for visiting, he said "I am looking for a spouse. Please help me to find a suitable one." The agent said, "Your requirements, please." "Oh, good looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good in singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I don't go out. Telling me interesting stories when I need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest." The officer listened carefully and replied, "I understand you need television."

This story simply reminds us that in any type of relationships, it is useless to look for perfection. I've been to relationships and one of the greatest lessons i've learned is that the more we demand for a perfect person and the perfect relationship, the more we will not establish one. There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind wife and a deaf husband, because the blind wife cannot see the faults of the husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife.

SECOND: TRUST is a huge element in keeping and maintaining relationships.

TRUST is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in separation.

THIRD: NEVER-EVER EXCLUDE SOMEONE (especially in friendships)

That is one of the biggest and most unnecessary emotional weights we will carry through our lives. When we make commitments, we at the same time accept people, so better not build a relationship to a person you will just exclude after. The emotional pain of rejection is a thorn in the heart you cannot just heal in a second.

LASTLY: They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them.

Let me end this entry with this funny "multidisciplinary" reflections on keeping and letting go of people you care so much!

--------------
If you love someone,
Set her free...
If she comes back, she's yours,
If she doesn't, she never was....

THE NEW VERSIONS.....

Pessimist:
----------
If you love someone,
Set her free ...
If she ever comes back, she's yours,
If she doesn't, as expected, she never was

Optimist:
---------
If you love someone,
Set her free ...
Don't worry, she will come back.

Suspicious:
-----------
If you love someone,
Set her free ...
If she ever comes back, ask her why.

Impatient:
---------=
If you love someone,
Set her free ...
If she doesn't comes back within some time
forget her.

Patient:
--------
If you love someone,
Set her free .
If she doesn't come back, continue to wait
until she comes back .

Playful:
--------
If you love someone,
Set her free .
* If she comes back, and if you love her
still, set her free again, rep! eat *

C++ Programmer:
---------------
if(you-love(m_she))
m_she.free()
if(m_she == NULL)
m_she= new CShe;

Animal-Rights Activist:
-----------------------
If you love someone,
Set her free,
In fact, all living creatures deserve to
be free!!

Lawyers:
--------
If you love someone,
Set her free,
Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a-1 in the second
amendment of the Matrimonial Freedom Act
clearly states that...

Bill Gates :
------------
If you love someone,
Set her free,
If she comes back,
I think we can charge her for re-installation fees
and but tell her that
she's also going to get an upgrade.

Biologist :
-----------
If you love someone,
Set her free,
She'll evolve.

Statisticians :
---------------
If you love someone,
Set her free,
If she loves you,
the probability of her coming back is high
If she doesn't, your relation was
improbable anyway.

Schwarzenegger's fans:
----------------------
If you love someone,
Set her free,
SHE'LL BE BACK!

Over possessive person
----------------------
If you love someone
don't set her free.

HR specialist
-------------
If you love someone
set her free by
Offering her VRS and other benefits
Then outsource her.


MBA
---
If you love someone
set her free
instantaneously
and look for others simultaneously

Psychologist
------------
If you love someone
set her free
If she comes back her super ego is dominant
If she doesn't come back her id is supreme
If she doesn't go, she must be crazy.

Somnambulist
------------
If you love someone
set her free
If she comes back it's a nightmare
If she doesn't, you must be dreaming.

Rhett Butler
------------
If you love someone
set YOURSELF FREE
If she asks you why
say you don't give a damn.

ERP functional expert
---------------------
If you love someone
set her free
If she comes back, map her into your system
If she does'nt, carry out a gap-fit analysis

Finance expert
--------------
If you love someone
set her free
If she comes back its time to look fresh loans
If she doesn't, write her off as an asset gone bad.

Marketing Expert
----------------
If you love someone
set her free
If she comes back she has brand loyalty
If she doesn't, reposition the brand in new markets.

Men are from Pluto and Women are from Saturn (dah!)

After working with couples for the past 6 years (providing marital counseling and trial separation counseling), one realization I got from my practice is: ONE REASON THAT MAKE COUPLES UNHAPPY IS THE REALITY THAT OFTEN ONE OR BOTH OF THEM HAVE STRONG EXPECTATIONS THAT THEIR PARTNERS SHOULD BE JUST LIKE WHO THEY ARE: EXHIBIT THE SAME ATTITUDES, HAVE SAME RESPONSES TO SITUATIONS AND WORST--THINK THE SAME AS THEY DO. Because of unmet expectations, problems set in...THREATENING even the most well-founded relationships. As the goal of equality between men and women now grows closer we are also losing the contact on the reality of the differences of men and women. Thus, we end up advocating for the battle of the sexes--asking "who is more superior?"..."who's opinion should prevail?"....

The differences between women and men are not only well-documented, but frequently at the heart of jokes, anecdotes, and good-natured (and not so good-natured) ribbing..For centuries, the differences between men and women were socially defined and distorted through a lens of sexism in which men assumed superiority over women and maintained it through domination or women feeling superior to men demanding full adjustment and accommodation of their demands and wishes...

It is my position that men and women are equal but different. Equality in this sense directs to each of the sex's right to equal opportunity and protection under the law. Different on the other hand means that men and women are at least as different psychologically as they are physically.

None of us would argue the fact that men and women are physically different. The physical differences are rather obvious and most of these can be seen and easily measured. Most of these physical differences are rather tangible and easily measured. The physical differences between men and women provide functional advantages and have survival value. A man's body is designed for heavy labor and woman's are not..so--its imperative for men to believe that heavy household activities and tasks should be their responsibilities!!! (one woman client of mine fought against his husband's demand for her to do household repairs!you go girl!)...


Along human relationships, women tend to communicate more effectively than men, focusing on how to create a solution that works for the group, talking through issues, and utilizes non-verbal cues such as tone, emotion, and empathy whereas men tend to be more task-oriented, less talkative, and more isolated. Men have a more difficult time understanding emotions that are not explicitly verbalized, while women tend to intuit emotions and emotional cues. These differences explain why men and women sometimes have difficulty communicating and why men-to-men friendships look different from friendships among women. Believe me--this difference should be understood so well by both men and women...many relationship fights and arguments stems from this uniqueness.

Along women's talkativeness and men's reflective persona, women (take note of this!) have four times as many brain cells (neurons) connecting the right and left side of their brain. This latter finding provides physical evidence that supports the observation that men rely easily and more heavily on their left brain to solve one problem one step at a time. Women have more efficient access to both sides of their brain and therefore greater use of their right brain therefore, women can focus on more than one problem at one time and frequently prefer to solve problems through multiple activities at a time.

On problem solving, men and women approach problems with similar goals but with different considerations. For most women, sharing and discussing a problem presents an opportunity to explore, deepen or strengthen the relationship with the person they are talking with but most men are less concerned and do not feel the same as women when solving a problem.For men, their brain, when confronted with problem, tends to slow down so that analysis and planning can set in...quietly, when confronted with issue, their brain analyzes each situation quietly--alarming women! Silence for women is deafening.


Women tend to be intuitive global thinkers. They consider multiple sources of information within a process that can be described as simultaneous, global in perspective and will view elements in the task in terms of their interconnectedness. Women come to understand and consider problems all at once. Men tend to focus on one problem at a time or a limited number of problems at a time. They have an enhanced ability to separate themselves from problems and minimize the complexity that may exist. Men come to understand and consider problems one piece at a time.

On emotional sensitivity, there is evidence to suggest that a great deal of the sensitivity that exists within men and women has a physiological basis. It has been observed that is many cases, women have an enhanced physical alarm response to danger or threat. Their autonomic and sympathetic systems have a lower threshold of arousal and greater reactivity than men. This is why women tend to worry a lot, can be paranoidly anxious and have the tendency to talk a lot when anxious. Increasing or high levels of testosterone on men on the other hand can produce an emotional insensitivity, empathic block and increased indifference to the distress others.

On activities in relationships, men feel closer and validated through shared activities. Such activities include sports, competition, outdoor activities or even sexual activities that are decidedly active and physical. While both men and women can appreciate and engage in these activities they often have preferential differences. Women, on the other hand, feel closer and validated through communication, dialogue and intimate sharing of experience, emotional content and personal perspectives. Many men tend to find such sharing and involvement uncomfortable, if not, overwhelming.

The challenge therefore is for men and women to learn to accept their differences, avoid taking their differences as personal attempts to frustrate each other, and to compromise whenever possible. Appreciating the other person will be a rewarding avenue in a relationship. Instead of looking at it as distressing and disappointing..look at it positively...enjoy the differences!

Happy Loving!

A New Year Reflection

I love New Year Celebrations! That is one life celebrations I look forward every year.The mood is always festive, happy and with intense "celebratory" feeling. One thing I'd like to do during new year is to ask family and friends about their new year resolutions....like anybody else, people will be vowing to lose weight, stop smoking, stick to a budget, save money, find a better job, become more organized, exercise more, be more patient, eat better, and ________ (fill in your own resolution).New Year is that time when we look back in retrospection and evaluation of where we have been and forward in hope and anticipation of where we may be going.

One life coach believes that standing between old and new years, between what has been and what could be, we form our resolutions for the future in a spirit of possibility and potential. Why make New Year's resolutions if there is no hope of change at all? If the past is a momentum that is impervious to transformation, why bother?

Durng this time, we celebrate the sense that we can step outside of the normal flow of time, touch a creative and visionary source within us, and shape the world afresh. New year for me is a new beginning...a new blessed and beautiful life.

New year is when we find that presence of potential and transformation, new birth and new beginnings, available to us each moment. It only takes a shift of perspective to realize that this moment, as the old saying goes, is the beginning of the rest of our lives.

Taking the vacuum effect---let us zap the old energies away and start collecting new beautiful experiences and relationships. For this new year, I can't wait to start anew--with life, with friends, with family, relationships (dah!:-) and my personal advocacy! I know this will be an exciting big adventure!:-)

Happy New Year Everyone!

PS...with grateful heart--I am "super" thankful to the following people for making 2010 a bright (sparkling) and happy year for me:

-Papa Tony and mama Lyd--for their unwavering love and support to me and my siblings--we are forever grateful for your love, affection and support.With you--I always feel so loved!

My "super" brothers: Frs Doy and Ching--for being my 'prayer warriors'...spiritually--you always keep us grounded..thanks for being so caring!

My wonderful "sistahs"--marz, nan and Ian--for the companionship, many girl talks, love, appreciation and affection--can't live with you all really! Ate Marz--for being always the "ate", nan--for being so nurturing and for adopting me "always", Ian--for our shopping and mall adventures (thanks for adopting me always when I am in manila)...

My relatives and loveones---i am truly grateful for the huge support system! thank you for your constant presence in my family's life. We love you all and looking forward to more meet ups, reunions and get togethers!

My long time best buddies--RICH, JULES AND LOREN--No words can explain why I have big rooms in my heart for you guys! I'm terribly looking forward to spending quality time with you and share all heartaches and happy stories with you..
(again!)

My special friends (outside and at work!)--IRIS, CHING, TOM, NOLY, GELAI, SHING SHING AND FR. RIKKI--for being my life companions (and more!), for putting up with my little tantrums and for your unconditional love, acceptance and genuine relationships. you all truly complete me! Looking forward to more night outs, coffee breaks, outings and dinings with you guys!

My"super women" and "super men" at CYWTAC--MITCH, AISA, JO, JOEL--you know i can't live without you guys! cheers for the hard work! Let's prepare ourselves for more exposures!

My psych students--for continously inspiring me to learn more! All of you are lovable and have great capacities to succeed--i'll be with you all the way until you find your place in the sun!

And my countless friends (FB in and FB out!) for your gift of friendship! I am truly grateful for your gentle presence in my life!

Thank you for your gift of presence in my life!

Nurturing Integrity (excerpts from my soon to be released book: UNLEASHING THE BEAUTY WITHIN)

Every day, we are confronted with little tests of integrity—both subtle and obvious. I remember being placed in a very critical situation a year ago. It was an incident that truly placed my integrity under scrutiny check. The situation asked me to choose between friendship and fighting what is right and just. A friend of mine, whom I strongly feel connected, was accused of a heinous crime. The victims came to me personally and after looking into the veracity of the situation—I was made to choose: to report the incident to authorities and suffer the after effect of this act to my friendship with the accused, or remain quiet and defend my friend but feel morally defeated. I chose the hardest one: fight for the victims even if it will shake off my friendship. It was difficult but I always believe that integrity is one of the few things in my life that no one can ever be able to forcefully take away from me. Integrity is self worth. My choices were my own. In the end, it's all a matter of personal accountability.

It isn't always easy to maintain integrity especially if people close to you are involved and connected, but it is gratifying to know that in the end you can be proud of what you do and you don't compromise yourself in a world full of compromises. You don't sell out. You are valuable and worthy and strong in your convictions. What always matter is that we are defined by our actions. If I take something that doesn't belong to me, I am a thief. If I cheat, I am a cheater. If I fight for what is wrong and unjust then I am an accomplice. The highest courage is to dare to be yourself in the face of adversity. Choosing right over wrong, ethics over convenience, and truth over popularity.

According to the Josephson Institute of Ethics the word INTEGRITY comes from the same Latin root as 'integer,' or whole number. Like a whole number, a person of integrity is undivided and complete. This means that the ethical person acts according to her beliefs, not according to expediency. She is also consistent. There is no difference in the way she makes decisions from situation to situation; her principles don't vary at work or at home, in public or alone. Because she must know who she is and what she values, the person of integrity takes time for self-reflection, so that the events, crises and seeming necessities of the day do not determine the course of her moral life. She stays in control. She may be courteous, even charming, but she is never duplicitous. She never demeans herself with obsequious behavior toward those she thinks might do her some good. She is trusted because you know who she is: what you see is what you get.

Afraid to Love?!!!!?!!!

One of my closest friend asked me if I am still afraid to love after going through such a traumatic relationship few years ago--honestly, it caught me off guard--but it made me reflect though. Am I afraid to love? That I asked myself. Is it because my sub-conscious is telling me that once you let yourself loved-you are open to huge amounts of pain? Am I scared of rejection and pain especially if it involves a person whom i believe to be the right person? or am i just afraid to loose my independence? all of these hypothesis froze my brain!

Honestly, this incident made me go back to my reflections on the writing of John Powell. He said that pain in itself is not an evil to be avoided at all costs. Pain is rather a teacher from whom we can learn much. Pain is instructing us, telling us to change, to stop doing one thing or to begin doing another, to stop thinking one way and begin thinking differently. When we refuse to listen to pain and its lessons, all we have left is one of the escapist tendencies of the options and addictions.

On personal note, I believe that for the past years, while I am genuinely enjoying all types of "safe" relationships--part of me listened to where should I safely stand (on the status quo), meaning not wanting to take risks and later --ending up with nothing.

As I think about it, I started challenging myself to totally take risks..I know I had been challenging myself in all aspects of my life but not for any genuine romantic relationship. Accepting vulnerability would take a different beat for me but there's nothing wrong with taking chances.Letting go of the past and the pains and sentiments should be the beginning of larger steps.Accepting the reality that relationships are not entirely sunshine and roses would be a good start. It's hard to get past bad feelings and just enjoy a person as they are today.....not tomorrow or yesterday--that I have to remind myself daily. But you see, i realized that nothing is a guarantee. No person comes with a guarantee anyway.

I cant help but remind myself to keep it light, take it easy cause there are no guarantees in life. If the right person comes and he's here now, I will be here now and perhaps take all the joy out of each day and forget about tomorrow, fears and negative thoughts. Going through it was a joyful life reflection and maybe something to hold in my heart from this day forward.

Moving Forward..though in pain!

I guess everyone in the world knew about the breathtaking situation in my country last Aug. 23, 2010. Captain Rolando Mendoza, a highly decorated former Senior Police Officer who was relieved from his post due to an extortion and robbery complaint against him took Hongkong tourists into hostage inside the Hong Thai tourist bus in front of the Quirino Grandstand, Manila. After 10 hours of hostage drama, 7 hostages and the gunman himself were killed and 18 survived, 1 civilian and an officer injured.

After 3 days, the damage has been done--we can never bring back the time.

I know many of our brothers and sisters in China felt bad (and maybe still feeling really bad) about what happened. Some are even cursing my race..I definitely understand their sentiments but in case like this, i think what we should do is to just accept what happened and learn something from it.I do not say that we should not be blaming anyone but at least lets move forward..forward to what is better. Addressing this problem and issue with insults and race war as a whole is irrelevant and out of the question.

I think it's unfair to put the whole country to complete culpability. The government and my people expressed abhorrence over the situation and how it was handled. But we have to understand that it is not every Filipino's desire to cause harm to any foreigner who comes to our country, much less to cause chaos and provoke war with our neighboring countries. But it is not right to blame the irresponsible actions of a few to the whole nation , which pertains to the Filipino people, as it would tantamount to unjust criticism and racism. last monday's incident was an isolated incident and it could have happened anywhere. If it did happened in any country, and a tourist bus containing Filipinos was also hijacked and ended up in a bloodbath, it would have also been unfair for us Filipinos to blame it all on your country, and to every hongkong or Chinese citizen we see along the way.

Filipinos are loving people and we have proven this long long way when we co-existed with Chinese people residing in this country as well as the tsinoys.Please do not hate the Filipinos and the entire country. We are your friends, and you are our friends. Hongkong now is host to several thousands of Filipino migrant workers, but you must never forget how the Philippines played host to so many Chinese immigrants, your ancestors, several years ago. I hope in time, wounds will be healed. We hope we will all move on with so much willingness to accept the fact that we should learn from what happened.

Letters to God

I recently watched a movie--it was so moving and touching that i came home emotionally drained but spiritually nourished. truly, it moved my heart to the deepest extremes!our lives are truly shaped by stories and mine was lately touched by this not-so famous but beautiful film. This one stirred my emotions, provoked my higher faculty and influenced the course of my life.

The title of the film was "letters to god". This film is a tribute to faith, hope and love through the eyes of a child. This film did not only taught me not to fear death but made me look forward to it and even motivated me to invest in relationships. This movie is truly heartwarming and inspiring.

Tyler Doherty is an extraordinary eight-year-old boy. Surrounded by a loving family and community, and armed with the courage of his faith, he faces his daily battle against cancer with bravery and grace. To Tyler, God is a friend, a teacher and the ultimate pen pal - Tyler's prayers take the form of letters, which he composes and mails on a daily basis. The letters find their way into the hands of Brady McDaniels, a beleaguered postman standing at a crossroads in his life. At first, he is confused and conflicted over what to do with the letters. Over time he begins to form a friendship with the Doherty family - getting to know not just Tyler but his tough, tender yet overwhelmed mom, stalwart grandmother and teen brother Ben - who are each trying to stand strong against the doubts that come with the chaotic turn their lives have taken. Moved by Tyler's courage, Brady realizes what he must do with the letters, a surprise decision that will transform his heart and uplift his newfound friends and community - in an exhilarating act of testament to the contagious effect of one boy's unwavering faith against the odds.

Happy watching!

Dying Alone

I know death is one reality we can readily admit to. One thing I learned from life is that we start dying the day we were born. From the time I was born, I saw the different faces of death--I lost friends, a client, a boss, a love one, a family member, a dorm mate,etc.. Death is something I have accepted and processed within but---if somebody will ask me if I am afraid to die alone? Hell yeah!!! Even if my mind tells me that I should prefer to be alone at the moment of my passing cause I know that it should be a private experience or it may sound a little bleak..we don't cross the line with a crowd no matter what the circumstances....still..I dont want to die alone!I would rather have someone around....a family member or a love one--or few friends...call me old school but i believe dying in the comfort of my home and family will be the most beautiful life experience. It will be a gentle reminder that you made connections--you loved and were loved in return.

For 33 years, I'm a survivor and I had to witness too many of my friends and relatives pass on. I was alone before and I probably will be alone again. I don't worry about something that I probably won't have any control over.

But I think the best comfort is the fact that I know that I am never alone, in life or in death, because the moment I die I will meet my saviour. The thing that would scare me is if I never did receive Christ and died without Him in my heart and life, then I would be alone.