Afraid to Love?!!!!?!!!

One of my closest friend asked me if I am still afraid to love after going through such a traumatic relationship few years ago--honestly, it caught me off guard--but it made me reflect though. Am I afraid to love? That I asked myself. Is it because my sub-conscious is telling me that once you let yourself loved-you are open to huge amounts of pain? Am I scared of rejection and pain especially if it involves a person whom i believe to be the right person? or am i just afraid to loose my independence? all of these hypothesis froze my brain!

Honestly, this incident made me go back to my reflections on the writing of John Powell. He said that pain in itself is not an evil to be avoided at all costs. Pain is rather a teacher from whom we can learn much. Pain is instructing us, telling us to change, to stop doing one thing or to begin doing another, to stop thinking one way and begin thinking differently. When we refuse to listen to pain and its lessons, all we have left is one of the escapist tendencies of the options and addictions.

On personal note, I believe that for the past years, while I am genuinely enjoying all types of "safe" relationships--part of me listened to where should I safely stand (on the status quo), meaning not wanting to take risks and later --ending up with nothing.

As I think about it, I started challenging myself to totally take risks..I know I had been challenging myself in all aspects of my life but not for any genuine romantic relationship. Accepting vulnerability would take a different beat for me but there's nothing wrong with taking chances.Letting go of the past and the pains and sentiments should be the beginning of larger steps.Accepting the reality that relationships are not entirely sunshine and roses would be a good start. It's hard to get past bad feelings and just enjoy a person as they are today.....not tomorrow or yesterday--that I have to remind myself daily. But you see, i realized that nothing is a guarantee. No person comes with a guarantee anyway.

I cant help but remind myself to keep it light, take it easy cause there are no guarantees in life. If the right person comes and he's here now, I will be here now and perhaps take all the joy out of each day and forget about tomorrow, fears and negative thoughts. Going through it was a joyful life reflection and maybe something to hold in my heart from this day forward.

Moving Forward..though in pain!

I guess everyone in the world knew about the breathtaking situation in my country last Aug. 23, 2010. Captain Rolando Mendoza, a highly decorated former Senior Police Officer who was relieved from his post due to an extortion and robbery complaint against him took Hongkong tourists into hostage inside the Hong Thai tourist bus in front of the Quirino Grandstand, Manila. After 10 hours of hostage drama, 7 hostages and the gunman himself were killed and 18 survived, 1 civilian and an officer injured.

After 3 days, the damage has been done--we can never bring back the time.

I know many of our brothers and sisters in China felt bad (and maybe still feeling really bad) about what happened. Some are even cursing my race..I definitely understand their sentiments but in case like this, i think what we should do is to just accept what happened and learn something from it.I do not say that we should not be blaming anyone but at least lets move forward..forward to what is better. Addressing this problem and issue with insults and race war as a whole is irrelevant and out of the question.

I think it's unfair to put the whole country to complete culpability. The government and my people expressed abhorrence over the situation and how it was handled. But we have to understand that it is not every Filipino's desire to cause harm to any foreigner who comes to our country, much less to cause chaos and provoke war with our neighboring countries. But it is not right to blame the irresponsible actions of a few to the whole nation , which pertains to the Filipino people, as it would tantamount to unjust criticism and racism. last monday's incident was an isolated incident and it could have happened anywhere. If it did happened in any country, and a tourist bus containing Filipinos was also hijacked and ended up in a bloodbath, it would have also been unfair for us Filipinos to blame it all on your country, and to every hongkong or Chinese citizen we see along the way.

Filipinos are loving people and we have proven this long long way when we co-existed with Chinese people residing in this country as well as the tsinoys.Please do not hate the Filipinos and the entire country. We are your friends, and you are our friends. Hongkong now is host to several thousands of Filipino migrant workers, but you must never forget how the Philippines played host to so many Chinese immigrants, your ancestors, several years ago. I hope in time, wounds will be healed. We hope we will all move on with so much willingness to accept the fact that we should learn from what happened.

Letters to God

I recently watched a movie--it was so moving and touching that i came home emotionally drained but spiritually nourished. truly, it moved my heart to the deepest extremes!our lives are truly shaped by stories and mine was lately touched by this not-so famous but beautiful film. This one stirred my emotions, provoked my higher faculty and influenced the course of my life.

The title of the film was "letters to god". This film is a tribute to faith, hope and love through the eyes of a child. This film did not only taught me not to fear death but made me look forward to it and even motivated me to invest in relationships. This movie is truly heartwarming and inspiring.

Tyler Doherty is an extraordinary eight-year-old boy. Surrounded by a loving family and community, and armed with the courage of his faith, he faces his daily battle against cancer with bravery and grace. To Tyler, God is a friend, a teacher and the ultimate pen pal - Tyler's prayers take the form of letters, which he composes and mails on a daily basis. The letters find their way into the hands of Brady McDaniels, a beleaguered postman standing at a crossroads in his life. At first, he is confused and conflicted over what to do with the letters. Over time he begins to form a friendship with the Doherty family - getting to know not just Tyler but his tough, tender yet overwhelmed mom, stalwart grandmother and teen brother Ben - who are each trying to stand strong against the doubts that come with the chaotic turn their lives have taken. Moved by Tyler's courage, Brady realizes what he must do with the letters, a surprise decision that will transform his heart and uplift his newfound friends and community - in an exhilarating act of testament to the contagious effect of one boy's unwavering faith against the odds.

Happy watching!

Dying Alone

I know death is one reality we can readily admit to. One thing I learned from life is that we start dying the day we were born. From the time I was born, I saw the different faces of death--I lost friends, a client, a boss, a love one, a family member, a dorm mate,etc.. Death is something I have accepted and processed within but---if somebody will ask me if I am afraid to die alone? Hell yeah!!! Even if my mind tells me that I should prefer to be alone at the moment of my passing cause I know that it should be a private experience or it may sound a little bleak..we don't cross the line with a crowd no matter what the circumstances....still..I dont want to die alone!I would rather have someone around....a family member or a love one--or few friends...call me old school but i believe dying in the comfort of my home and family will be the most beautiful life experience. It will be a gentle reminder that you made connections--you loved and were loved in return.

For 33 years, I'm a survivor and I had to witness too many of my friends and relatives pass on. I was alone before and I probably will be alone again. I don't worry about something that I probably won't have any control over.

But I think the best comfort is the fact that I know that I am never alone, in life or in death, because the moment I die I will meet my saviour. The thing that would scare me is if I never did receive Christ and died without Him in my heart and life, then I would be alone.

Life's Little Lessons for 2010!

Gentle reminders for 2010!

Health:

1. Drink plenty of water.
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasmand Empathy.
5. Make time to pray.
6. Play more games.
7. Read more books than you did in 2009.
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
9. Sleep for 7 hours.
10. Take a 10-30 minutes walk daily. And while you walk, smile.

Personality:

11. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
12. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
13. Don't over do. Keep your limits.
14. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
15. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
16. Dream more while you are awake.
17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
18. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past that will ruin your present happiness.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
23. Smile and laugh more.
24. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree....

Society:

25. Call your family often.
26. Each day give something good to others.
27. Forgive everyone for everything.
28. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
29. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
30. What other people think of you is none of your business.
31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:

32. Do the right thing!
33. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
34. GOD heals everything.
35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
37. The best is yet to come.
38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.
39. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.

Last but not the least:

40. Please Forward this to everyone you care about, I just did.

Divine Check-up for Everyone!

I got this email from Cookie ( a long time friend from Chevron) nd I want to share this to all of you. Truly inspiring. beautiful and a call for life!

The Art of Smiling

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word,
a listening ear, and honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring,
all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”
– Leo F. Buscaglia

Last week I facilitated a training on using psychology as marketing tool to about 80 sales representatives of a company. I know from the onset of the training that they were expecting for the typically serious (and boring!) discussion on marketing theories...so it came as a surprise when I gave them a session on the art of smiling. :-)

I always believe that going back to the basics is the greatest marketing tool. Many marketing experts may not agree with me on this but as a practising psychologist,I am a firm believer that a single smile can make a huge difference in reaching out to people. It's the most inexpensive tool too! You need no money, expensive gifts, words, no extra thoughts and explanations... Just a simple smile:) It says a lot. I emphasized in my session that practising and perfecting the art of smiling (i mean genuine smile) can open doors of diverse relationships. Actually, there isn’t any art behind it. A smile is so simple, yet so powerful. Smile can have ultimate effects which I believe every marketing expert should know and internalize:


1. Of course--smile will bring attraction! I don’t mean sexually (well, maybe that too), but people will feel drawn to your energy with a simple smile. When you smile more, you will carry an aura and poise that will draw people to you. People will look forward to being around you, knowing only that they feel great around you. We all like and want to be around happy and cheerful people, right? smile has the power to make other people feel good about themselves. It’s heart-warming and has the power to cheer up others instantly.


2. SMILE will let you feel more positive about yourself and the world. Remember that smile is an expression of happiness and joy. Like an upward spiral, a smile will boost happiness and like a virus---happiness will be contagious! Others can quickly and easily catch it and will experience the side effects.So, why wait? Infect as many people as you can and believe me--in no time---you will make a difference!


3, Physically and Psychologically, SMILE can also affect your internal state, which can have physiological impact on your physical and mental health. I always tell people that when we smile, our brain produces "feel good hormones" which are at the same time our natural pain relievers!

4. SMILE will definitely open doors of friendship.Smile is strong indicator of a welcoming attitude and sure, this will make people feel more at ease with you.

So, do not be afraid to take the smiling challenge!

Today, give a stranger one of your smiles. It might be the only sunshine he will see all day.

A Rare Workshop for Bicolano Psychosocial Helping Professionals

Calling All Bicolano Psychosocial Helping Professionals!

The Children and Youth Wellness Technical and Advocacy Center (CYWTAC), Inc organized a one day “Seminar-Workshop on Handling Difficult Clients through Compassionate Therapy” on May 31, 2010 (Monday) at Jardin de Consolacion Hall, Casa de Abuela, 18 Vinzons St., Old Albay, Legazpi City. This seminar will be facilitated by Dr. Benedicta Lascano, Guidance Service Specialist, University of the Philippines, Diliman, Quezon City. This seminar is open to counselors, teachers, social workers and other psychosocial-helping professionals. This seminar will delve on helping clients with emotional difficulties through the application of Compassion Therapy. This therapy operates on the principle that clients are responsible for their own well-being and if assisted properly, they can later develop sensitivity to their own needs and desires and help themselves better.

A minimal registration fee of One Thousand Pesos (P1,000.00) will be collected to cover the meals, kit, certificate and materials for the one day seminar. This seminar is designed for small number of participants, so first reservation, first confirmation will be applied. Priority will be given to those who will pre-register via text or email on or before May 30, 2010 in any of the following contact details:

09215883900 (SMART)
09228670942 (SUN)
09178651901 (Globe)
Email: nethpenetrante@yahoo.com

Endless fear for Election 2010

Like any unprepared company for a major breakthrough--my country is now battling to keep its chaotically and violence-filled election on schedule following a glitch in electronic balloting machines that were being introduced for the first time.Volunteers reported computer problems in other parts of Manila as well as Batangas province. Some machines in four Manila municipalities didn’t report votes as marked on test ballots.

Honestly, now I know obviously why many of my countrymen are against this new scheme---the election haven't started yet but the glitches are so vivid that failure of election is a BIG possibility! I'm just afraid that the billions of pesos placed by the government on this machinery would turn to ashes! I just can't stop my brain in cracking the possibility that the money which had been borrowed from the World Bank appears to have again been used to line the pockets of crooks in government and their cronies without giving the people the service that is due us. I cant wait to see how this election will become...I just hope that the Filipino people will not be robbed of our money and most probably our right to have clean and credible elections. Whatever happens after May 10, i feel strongly that we need to be very vigilant especially against those who have enriched themselves at the expense of the country so that they will be made to pay without FEAR and compromise and made an example for all to see that crime does not pay. May we all have the grace to know what to do in the next months and act on it.

Loving My Yoga Mat!

I admit, I had been a lazy head these past months! Its been a while since I practiced my hatha yoga or even my morning walks! Just last night though, I rediscovered the benefit of yoga and once again, it made me feel really better!When a friend asked me to have an hour of yoga session with her, I started loving this "me" time. Concentrating so intently on what my body is doing has the effect of bringing calmness to my mind. That inicdent also introduced me to meditation (which I practise irregularly) which help me calm my mind. With my daily troubles, both large and small, i learned to appreciate the peace of mind that meditation and yoga can only deliver. Believe me, it provided me the much-needed break from my stressors as well as helped put out things into proper perspectives. Now, Im again loving my yoga mat!