Mayaman at Mahirap

A friend of mine sent me this article via email. True--it made me smile but--this piece of article also made me reflect...ganito na nga ba ang difference ng mayaman at mahirap? reality truly strikes and when they do--it sucks!

Kung mayaman ka, meron kang "allergy" Kung mahirap ka, ang tawag dyan ay "galis" o "bakokang"

Sa mayaman, "nervous breakdown" dahil sa "tension and stress" Sa mahirap, "sira ang ulo"

Kung mayaman ka, "pneumonia" daw ang sakit mo Kung mahirap, "TB" yon

Sa mayaman, "hyperacidity" Kapag mahirap, "ulcer" dahil walang laman ang tiyan

Sa mayamang "malikot ang kamay", ang tawag ay "kleptomaniac" Sa mahirap, ang tawag ay "magnanakaw" o "kawatan"

Pag mayaman ka, you're "eccentric" Kung mahirap ka, "may toyo ka sa ulo" o "may topak" o "may sayad"

Kung mayaman ka at sumakit ang ulo mo, ikaw ay may "migraine" Kung mahirap ka naman at sumakit ang ulo mo, ikaw ay "nalipasan ng gutom"

Kung mayaman ka, you are referred to as someone who is "scoliotic" Pero kung mahirap ka, ikaw ay "kuba"

Kung ang señorita mo ay maitim, ang tawag ay "morena" o "sun tanned" Pero kung isa kang domestic na maitim, ikaw ay "ita" o "negrita" o "baluga"

Kung nasa high society ka at ikaw ay maliit, ang tawag sa iyo ay "petite" Kung mahirap ka lang, ikaw ay "pandak" o "bansot" o minsan "tiyanak"

Kung socialite ka, ikaw ay "pleasingly plump" Kapag mahirap ka, ika'y "tabatsoy" o "lumba-lumba" ...pagminamalas ka, "baboy"

Kapag mayaman, "fasting" ang hindi kumain Kung mahirap, "nagtitiis"

Kung well-off ka at date ka rito, date ka roon, ang tawag sa iyo ay "socialite" Kung mahirap ka, ikaw ay "pakawala" o "pok-pok"

Kung mayamang alembong ka, ang tawag sa iyo ay "liberated" Pero kung isa kang dukha, ang tawag sa iyo "malandi"

Kapag mayaman, "misguided" o "spoiled" ka Kung mahirap ka, "addict" o "durugista"

Kung may pera ka, ang tawag sa iyo "single parent" Pero kung wala kang trabaho, ang tawag sa iyo "disgrasyada"

Kapag mayaman at sexy, "fashionable" daw Kung mahirap, sigurado "GRO" o "japayuki" ka

Ang tawag sa mayayamang puro gulay ang kinakain, "vegetarian" Habang kakaawa ang mahirap na " kumakain ng damo."

Sa exclusive school, "assertive" ang mga batang sumasagot sa mga guro Pero pag ang mga mahihirap na bata ang sumasagot sa mga guro, ang tawag sa kanila ay "bastos!"

Ang mayamang tumatanda, "are graduating gracefully into senior citizenhood" Ang mga mahihirap ay "gumugurang"

Ang anak ng mayaman ay "slow learner" Ang anak ng mahirap ay "bobo" o "gung-gong"

Kung mayaman ka at marami kang kumain, you flatter your host who says, "masarap kang kumain and I like you, you do justice to my cooking" Kung ghastly peasant ka eating the same amount in the same house, your host will say to himself na ikaw ay "patay-gutom"

Kung graduate ka ng exclusive school at sa ibang bansa ka nagtatrabaho, ang tawag sa iyo "expat" Kung mahirap ka lang, ikaw ay "contract worker"

Kung boss ka at binabasa mo ito sa office mo, "okay lang" Pero kung ikaw ay hamak na empleyado lamang, ikaw ay" nagbubulakbol" ...

Just to make you smile and reflect also! Can we do something about it?

My Touch Addiction!

I'm super excited for my scheduled (regular) massage tomorrow! With the busy life I lead, massage have always provided me with benefits I cannot quantify! (thanks to ate Marlyn--my ever reliable therapist!). Many young professionals are turning to therapeutic massage treatment to provide relaxation, relieve tension associated with the daily stresses of their busy lives, or simply to help maintain good health and achieve a balanced lifestyle. Pesonally, I cannot get off from this addiction (which I refer to as touch addiction!) because of the tactile pleasure it gives and how great it feels to be treated by a professional massage therapist ( I love the swedish and indigebous "hilot" types!). I remember my friends would tease me a lot when we travel because the first thing I would do is to look for a spa where I can try diverse versions of swedish or thai massages! (Fr. Nes even freaked out when I had 4 days consecutive massage therapy in Bohol and Davao!). The basic goal of massage therapy is to help the body heal itself and to increase health and well-being. For the past years, I have proven what the sientific researhes says that massage therapy increases immune function, decreases stress levels and reduces recovery time in many medical conditions. Looking back---with God's grace and my regular massage in tow--I cannot remember the last time I was hospitalized! Touch is the core ingredient of massage therapy and also combines science and art. Touch, as a human need when used in massage, gives incredible benefits. There is so much care, so much touch, so much goodness conveyed through massage.

An increasing number of research studies show that massage reduces heart rate, lowers blood pressure, increases blood circulation and lymph flow, relaxes muscles, improves range of motion, and increases endorphins (enhancing medical treatment). Massage improves circulation, which increases blood flow, bringing fresh oxygen to body tissues. Although therapeutic massage does not increase muscle strength, it can stimulate weak, inactive muscles and, thus, partially compensate for the lack of exercise and inactivity resulting from illness or injury. It also can hasten and lead to a more complete recovery from exercise or injury.

Allow me to share with you the research based benefits of massage therapy:

• Medical school students at the University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey-New Jersey Medical School who were massaged before an exam showed a significant decrease in anxiety and respiratory rates, as well as a significant increase in white blood cells and natural killer cell activity, suggesting a benefit to the immune system.



• Preliminary results suggested cancer patients had less pain and anxiety after receiving therapeutic massage at the James Cancer Hospital and Research Institute in Columbus, Ohio.


• Women who had experienced the recent death of a child were less depressed after receiving therapeutic massage, according to preliminary results of a study at the University of South Carolina.

For busy career people like us research has verified that:

• Office workers massaged regularly were more alert, performed better and were less stressed than those who weren't massaged.

I am a firm believer that massage therapy is absolutely a key in the healing process and rejuvenating any time and anywhere for all people.

Massage anyone? TRy and see for yourself.

Heaven is Never Too Far (Part 2)

Losing a family member, a friend and love ones to death is never easy and at times beyond bearable. Recently--I've been a witness to many losses. Writing about death is hard but it is only by understanding the purpose of death that I also understand the purpose of life. As if God was reminding me of my own mortality, their death came into my life like a thief in the night. It is heartbreaking to imagine that people you once shared your life with --- previously so active and full of life--can just one day disappear. Truly, losing someone special to you can bring incomprehensible grief and sadness.

A year ago, my family lost our grandmother whom we fondly call Lola Nanay. Losing Lola Nanay is like losing the strongest force in the family. She was our family’s chieftain, adviser and nurturer rolled into one. Lola Nanay was not only a grandmother to us and a mother to my mother but she was the respectable head of the clan. Her passing made everything in our lives different.

A little over Lola Nanay’s death, a friend of mine died of an accident overseas. April’s death was over long distance, but it did not make the pain any less real. April's death caught me off-guard. So young and so fresh for death! For 4 years, April became a little sister to me. We shared not only the magnificent experiences of friendship but also the extraordinary affections of real and genuine friendship (Ape was my housemate for 4 years in Manila!). Few weeks before she died, we were planning then to have a reunion in Hong Kong and really have the time of our lives! these plans were now on air...Few months after the crossing over of April, our family lost Lola A.

Lola A spent most of her lifetime with my family. She was my mother’s nanny when she (my mother) was only 11 years old. She remained such until my mother (an only child) got married, gave birth to 6 children and until all her wards graduated college. Lola A was not your ordinary and typical nanny—her love for my grandmother (Lola A vowed to take care of the family until the end), for my mother and us was something extraordinary, magical and unconditional. She was more than a nanny—she was like a mother—a doting mother actually. The loyalty and faithfulness she showed to my family was something one cannot fathom easily.

As months and years passed by, I personally discovered that I’ve been grieving each of the important deaths in my life until now. My mind still wanders around their burial memories, their memorial services and other closure rituals. My heart and my mind confirms the emotional fact that I miss them terribly! However, from time to time, I am comforted by my spiritual belief that in the end of our respective timelines, my family will have reunion in heaven. Because each of them had played unique role in my life, losing each of them left a tender void in my entire being—casting a shadow in my present life and most probably in my future. Now I can say that I’m bouncing back beautifully after these deaths but still, denying the fact that my grieving is not yet over will be a lie to my being. I am making ways to cope with grief and the thought that I was loved by these people comforts me so much in ways I cannot comprehend.

In my prayers, I always tell them that as they now start their journey in heaven---may our love bring them home and show them the way to eternal happiness. The love and care they showed to us through the years will be enough to sustain us through our lifetime. They have taught me so much but I know there is still so much to learn about life, love and death. I am doubly comforted by my belief that with their love, heaven is never too far.

The Hidden Paradise in CamSur!

I'm proud to be a CamSur resident! Little has been known about the little secret paradise in my province. My priest-brother first introduced me to this beautiful island. It was love at first sight for me! From the first time I laid my eyes on this tropical island--I knew I was hooked! Last year I was given the chance again to visit this secret paradise in my province. Some friends invited me to give a parent training int his island. Very little is known about Caramoan except when survivor russia and france came! Isolated from the rest of Camarines Sur, it is no surprise why Philippine's Secret Paradise remains unexploited from commercial tourism. This island is perfect for couple (honeymooning), friends (bonding) and for solo traveller as well (personal retreat and relaxation). Get captivated by the rugged coastline, trod the powdery white sand beach surrounded by crystal clear blue/green water. Nobody can resist falling in love with this hidden treasure. I cant wait to visit this island again and maybe share this paradise with friends. I hope this island will stay as it is today--unexploited and a true virgin for people to enjoy! Discover this island for yourself!

Her Gentle Presence

If there would be one person who can anticipate all my needs, read my deep-seated emotions and interpret my experiences meaningfully, it would be my mother. Call it mental telepathy--but my mom is a true mind and heart reader! Her concern for me and my siblings is something so wonderful and pressingly lasting. My gratitude for my mom, for her gentle presence is something I will not let loose. In moments of despair and loneliness, mama lyd's smile always calm us, always reassuring us that everything will fall into places. Mama Lyd spells out all the qualities a loving and nurturing mother could be. Today she reassured us that despite of the impending danger (typhoon), we will all be okay. Her virtues and capacity to love unconditionally are her investments. How blessed I am to have been born to such a wonderful mother. Her strength and wisdom guides me, her zest for life inspires me, her kindness and grace warms me. I can only wish to have the light that she gives for my siblings and the people she served-for she touches all around her with a kindred grace. I cant help but be truly grateful to God for giving me this wonderful woman--our gentle shield, comfort and friend.

Grace to See the Beauty

When I opened my email today I was shocked to find 137 new emails. The biggest number so far--- breaking my daily record of emails received. The emails were mostly from friends and relatives abroad who, like any other Filipinos overseas-- were extremely concerned with the effect of Typhoon Ondoy and now--the coming of the second typhoon, Pepeng. Many of my friends and relatives even more panicked when they heared of the tsunami and earthquake in Indonesia, knowing the proximity of Indonesia to the Philippines. For the past days I cant help but be affected emotionally by this disaster. Memories of my personal experience of typhoon reming (2006) and the Hubo landslide (2008) kept coming in. I tried making myself extra busy at work and in my center but I would be a hypocrite if I will not admit that the news, the pictures, the videos kept on reminding me of the past. As the massive devastation of the record downpour from Typhoon "Ondoy" unraveled few days ago, I cannot help but feel a little depressed...Bicolanos can swear how hard the road to recovery was and personally, I do not want other Filipinos to go through that again! The stories of tragedy, separation, displacement of families, etc.. it pains me so much. It shakes me to my very core. With the coming of typhoon pepeng, its double victimization for the people. Four days after the nce-in-a-lifetime flood that submerged most of Manila and neighboring areas, claiming nearly 250 lives, now---Typhoon Pepeng is lurking in the eastern part of the country making people more afraid as its course signals more storms, more destruction, more tragic stories and maybe more deaths. I can't help but imagine the scene after typhoon reming--people crammed into hundreds of schools, gymnasiums and other makeshift evacuation shelters---together with the discomfort, the emotional victimization is even more devastating.

I hope the Philippines will beautifully emerge as survivor after these large scale disasters. Now I am determined to be more prayerful and take responsibility not only to myself but my fellowmen and my country. I know how resilient the Filipinos are--and I am praying that God will even bless us with courage and the grace to see beauty in the midst of chaos.

A Night of Spiritual Inspiration: SVD Gospel Concert

Watching high-energy shows like the SVD Gospel Concert last friday and saturday was truly a different experience--spiritually and emotionally! The performers (Fr. Raul Caga, SVD, the ARnoldus Company, the DWCL Chorale and Dance Company) led by the superb musical director, Nez Marcelo and the ever artistic choreographer, Raymund Marcaida, the concert united the Albayanos in spirit and delivered God's message of love, joy, peace, hope and healing through their common passion: singing! Their animated delivery made the night even more memorable. The songs ignited gently the spirits within. After witnessing the two nights of spiritual inspiration, I knew our efforts were worth it!

Preparing for this concert was a stressful task. The organizers were given very limited time to really prepare for the big event. I remember being asked by my bosses to be a part of the few core members who will organize and brainstorm on the concert. After meeting the members of the core group--I knew everything will be okay. With Fr. Rikki, Frat Gilbert and Iris (and Ronan too!) as my partners--I knew immediately that everything will turn out right. The work started a month before the concert. Multi-tasking was the name of the game for each of us. I remember working on my backlogs, going to my center regularly for my therapy sessions with clients, preparing my talks (for my trainings), rushing my PhD papers and working on my third book while heading the secretariat for the concert--I don't even know why I remained sane despite of the complexities!

Meeting Fr. Raul again was a refreshing experience. I remember his first gig a year ago--it was a blast!When I learned that Fr Raul will be the lead singer--I knew I need not worry. He is a total performer. Fr Raul's singing was simply awesome especially with his scaling stratospheric octaves that wowed the 1000+ audience. Meeting Rama and Nez (Chereographer & Director) for the first time in a posh hotel even more assured me that the concert will turn out right! Rama's energy and beautiful disposition made everything so easy! Nez's simplicity and impressive musicality brought the house down! No wonder why Rama and Nez were super loved by the DWCL kids (grade school chorale)!

Meeting the SVD Fratres completed the picture! Their warmth and youthfullness made everything so light and enjoyable! JOnas was the clown of the group--with his playfullness and inocence (really?:)) --laughter became an easy commodity! Junjun's serious but so loving pesonality made all of us look forward to his visit (bitin eh!), Jerome's comic antic entertained us in the midst of energy depletion, John's happy disposition made all the hardwork really light, Dennis' good looks and shy personality made the college girls jump for joy and Louie's magnificient voice and intelligence (proven when I sat down with him and discussed scholarly issues during our midnight healthy break) completed the perfect picture.

The two days spirit filled musical activity became a true festival of music, prayer and dances.Many friends who watched the concert told me how the show touched their lives!Truly God works in magnificient ways--those two nights were a proof of that! I counted myself extra lucky watching the concert upclose! I knew instantly that the show was amazing when the audience started to roar in screams!

Bravo to Fr. Raul, the Arnoldus Company, the DWCL Performers, Rama and Nez! Hope to see you all in Legazpi again!

New Feel Good Movies!

Due to insisitent public demand--i am sharing with you new feel good movies I recently watched which mental health professionals could use in their diverse ministries (teaching, therapy, counseling, etc..).

UP (Pixar Film)

The story is about a 78 year old adventurer named Carl Fredricksen who tied his house with thousands of baloons and flies away to South America.From there, he met a stowaway named russel and they found hilarious journey ina lost world full of adventure, danger and fun!

In My Life (Star Cinema)

This movie is about Sherley, a school librarian, who was forced by circumstances to live in America with her gay son and his lover. There, she tries to start a new life with the help of her son's lover but soon discovered a dark secret. The ending was more of a surprise and tragic! believe me--this movie made me really cry (though not so much!). I have all praises for the actors and actresses in the movie for showing the difficult journey of a family with complex life storiesn and choices. Though the story did not have much direction in its story --it was somehow heart warming.

Fame



This sory is about the life of actors, actresses and musicians at the New York City High School of Performing Arts where they all were given the chance to live their dreams and succeed. On the way to fame--they all experienced hardships, self-doubt, competitive atmosphere, etc.. As time goes by, they all discovered their self-worth and their own journey to suceed. The movie was highlighted by each of their passion as they fight for the limelight and FAME!


Great movie for HS and College students.


HAPPY VIEWING!

My New Book--Soon to come out!

Please watch out for my next book!

A Boost for Positive Psychology!

I am lately burning my eyebrow in the research I am doing right now--I hope to be able to look into the Bicolano Experience of Happiness! Yes, you read it right--happiness! My research is on HAPPINESS! Believe me--its been worth the burn and the hardwork!

This study (entitled: Happiness Matters! The Bicolano Paradigm of Happiness)--is actually a product of my long admiration for Positive Psychology. Positive Psychology is a new branch of human discipline that looks into the character strengths and virtues that enable individuals and communities to thrive. Like my first research (Displaced Women Disasater Survivors: Survival Qualities and Coping Strategies), this new study hopes to understand the framework of happiness that make Bicolanos resilient despite of the difficulties of life (calamities, poverty, political unrest, etc..). I invested in the discipline of happiness because again and again, happiness has been the most valuable and sought after in all human quests. In many humanistic researches, it appeared to be the central concern of most of psychological, philosophical and theological thinking. Happiness seemed to be an important topic to look into in the midst of chaos and crisis (in all dimesnions of life!).

I am now awaiting for the data gathered by my team of research assistants for the final write up of the project. I have quietly invested (financially and emotionally) in this project because I am a strong advocate of holistic wellness and i personally believe that happiness encompassess all dimensions of wellness. I will publish the result of this study here so that everybody can somehow access this beauitful research.

"What Everyone wants from life is continous and genuine happiness"-Baruch Spinoza