The Transformational Life of Seminarians

I spent almost four days with the seminarians of the diocese of Albay. It was a beautiful experience as a whole. The place was really nice and tranquil (although at first--I didnt know where it was exactly!)....My days with these young gentlemen were so meaningful--I felt honored to be part of their never-ending transformation in their spiritual journey. Their being spirit-filled companions made me appreciate deeply the calling of the dinive union with Christ. Most people have opted to build their own families in marriage and a few decided to remain single (like me!) but fewer still nowadays are those who have decided to become priests and have opted to give their lives totally for others, this is the precise journey and state of life chosen by these young men. I cannot stop but admire their courage in saying "yes" to the calling. It is not hypocrisy if I write here that the world is badly in need of their breed. Their immersion towards their transformation was simply marvelous and heart-warming. As they share personally (in between smiles and genuine laughter!), they have proven as well their human weaknesses and character strengths. I was just happy that the session on sexuality and celibacy was finally included in their formation program. The seminarians took the leap when they opened their souls and humanity in the session (talking about sexuality and its dynamics can be a taboo for many).

I always believe that so much of a priests' work is relational and sometimes people just want someone to listen to them, to pray with them. Relationship penetrates everything they do. They think of Christ loving everyone, and through them, they bring Christ to everyone they meet...so its important that they give their gifts of presence, availability and compassion by journeying towards the totality of their being including their sexuality and choice to live a celibate life.

Personally, I really feel blessed by my experiences with these men in white. I am so thankful for all the people along the way making the sessions possible for these seminarians.

See you soon guys!

When Breaking Up Sucks!

I remember the question asked to me by a depressed client: "Neth why do you think breaking up sucks?! (romantic break-ups!)...I was struck not only because it led me to memory lanes (of my personal break-up experience) but the question appeared to be so simple yet so deep. My brain spinned so fast and I remember telling that client of mine these exact words: "We are hurting simply because we loved--we invested on love! That pain is not just from the reality of losing the relationship but even of seeing your hopes and dreams of a future life together disappear all together at the same time! So break up sucks!"

Losing a beautiful and promising relationship can be increadibly hard--for any human being for that matter. Admitting and coping is the hardest part--having to totally readjust your views and your dreams unfolding to you in the future and suddenly you dont see that anymore--that's not only painful but totally scary as well. A very genuine human experience.

Break-ups can hurt immensely and can shake us to our very core. When relationships ends--both partners are victims. Most of the time--both partners share issues of feeling like they are starting over again with life (imagining your life without your partner), both may be confronted by the difficulty to trust others again (you may wonder if you were wrong to have trusted your partner) and for some, identity crisis may resurface (difficulty defining who you are without your partner). These are personal struggles each of us experiences when significant relationships ends.

But life does not end in endings or break-ups! Allow me to share the three important suggestions I usually give to my clients. Many therapists have different views on coping but I am an advocate of this 3 very simple steps (these 3 simple tips were close to my heart--they are anchored on my personal experiences of losing special people in my life!):

1. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!

2. MOURN..GIve yourself time to grieve but not permanently!

3. MOVE FORWARD!

• Take Care of Yourself: Dont think of anything that will harm you..physically and psychologically. Do not consider drugs, alcohol or other addictive substances that might burry your feelings even more. Talking out your feelings with a trusted adult will help a lot! Remember that talking about it is the start of healing! Think of healthy activities that will make you even more healthy and beautiful (I remember jogging regularly when I am depressed or sad) or going to spa for a total body massage/makeover!) If you make yourself look good--you will certainly feel good!



• Mourn: give yourself time to to cry your eyes out! But please dont sdont let your eyeball pop out for crying so long! If you want to mourn alone--be your guest but if you want to have friends with you--with all means--invite your closest friends. But please--DONT CALL YOUR EX! I'm not telling you not to reconnect with your ex--but atleast for some time--allow yourself to build your ego again!

• MOVE FORWARD: If you want a ceremonial snapshot torching of your ex's photo--by all means do it! but if you want to keep them with you as souvenir--then do it as well! But after that--condition yourself to move forward...and return your life to normal! Make plans with friends for the weekends, spend quality time with your family, get out and try something new (dance, snorkle, try water sports, etc..).Find a fabulous release! Believe me--the activities, music and physical activities will make you feel better!

I'm sure you'll hit some emotional bumps from time to time but believe me--before you know it--you are on your road to recovery! If you allow yourself to undergo the 3 steps above--im sure you'll end up more stronger and wiser person. Soon--you will realize that this break-up experience will just be another U-turn in your life!

Happy Coping!

Loving Keith Urban!

A friend of mine introduced me to the songs of Keith Urban--at first I was pretty hesitant to listen to them--I'm not a fan of country music you see. But When he insisted that I listen to them--i did just to please my friend. I played it on my car while driving and alas! I loved it! I loved evry music on his album! It was love at first listening for me! Truly Keith brought his own distinctive talent, energy, and charisma to Country music and beyond. They were so upbeat for a country music! The melody of each song were simply fabolous and the lyrics--they were nice, simple but powerful! Im so taken by his song entitled: "You'll think of me"--so slow yest so powerful--such a sweet song!

"Take your records, take your freedom.

Take your memories I don't need'em.

Take your space and take your reasons.

But you'll think of me"

"Someday I'm gonna run across your mind.

Don't worry, I'll be fineI'm gonna be alright.

While you're sleeping with your pride

Wishing I could hold you tightI'll be over you

And on with my life"

My fascination of music was again deepened by Keith Urban's music. Satisfaction guaranteed when you listen to the following songs:

You'll Think of me

Days Go by

Sweet Thing

Somebody like you

ONce in a Lifetime

Making Memories of Us

Kiss a Girl

Now I owe my friend a lot for introducing Keith's music to me! Happy Listening!

My Kenya Adventure Part 3

Sept 3-The convention ended very very well. In the evening of Sept 3--the family of Eunice invited me to have dinner with them. It was a very nice dinner from a very accomodating kenyan family. My love for Kenya even went deeper when I met this wonderful family. All of them were so accomodating and warm. I wish I could visit them again soon.

Sept 4- In the morning of sept 4, Merab dropped by at my hotel to pick me up for her school (Muslim School for GIrls). The school was wonderful and the people--they are also the best! The faculty and the personnel were all equally warm and welcoming. truly--they proved to me that kenyans are naturally warm people! When I went back to my hotel---Diana was there to see me before going to the airport. We had a nice chat and tea at the rooftop of khweza!She was a nice nice lady with so much love for her people. I cant wait to collaborate with her soon.

William picked me up a little over twelve to bring me to the airport. The process at the airport was quiet "unfriendly" but nevertheless it was a nice and wonderful experience. After 5 hours, Im back at Doha and back to the Philippines.

My kenya adventure was worth it! it was a life changing experience. I gained not only travel memories but more than that--i gained so many friends whom i will hold dearly in my heart forever!

My Kenya Adventure Part 2 (For 1st time readers start with the 1st part of my story!)

Sept. 30, 2009, 8AM-I boarded the plane for Nairobi, Kenya. I knew it was another long plane ride but I was too excited to count the hours. I met varieties of nationalities on that trip—but it wasn’t reassuring enough to feel that I was the only asian in the trip. The five hours air travel was fun—as I excitedly view the Africa skyline—I felt a strong feeling of homesickness. I knew my homesickness was even more fueled by the fact that I was traveling alone—into the unknown place I couldn’t even imagine traveling by myself. After a long flight—I finally arrived in one of the countries of east Africa. The excitement to experience the magical Kenya and the strong anxiety sipped through my veins when I presented myself in the immigration officer of the Jomo Kenyatta International Airport. The immigration process proved to be easier though. Finally I met the driver assigned to me by the Kenya Association of Professional Counselor (KAPC), the organizing committee of the convention. William (the driver) proved to be a safe driver despite of the terrible driving culture of Kenya. He brought me immediately to my chosen bed and breakfast hotel—KHWEZA. After arriving at Khweza and meeting Sally (the owner and the manager), I knew I did the right choice. The place was proved to be best place for a solo traveler like me. The wonderful people (Peggy, Judith and the rest) of khweza made my stay truly memorable. Nairobi temperature was cold but the warmth of the people at khweza made the atmosphere so manageable. I learned then to really believe in the saying that “in traveling—believe your intuition”. I certainly did that when I chose khweza! I knew I made the right decision.

August 31-After a nice breakfast at the rooftop of khweza, I decided to explore what Nairobi can offer. William picked me up and brought me to KAPC office. I felt that I have to at least have my courtesy call to the organizer. There—I met most of the KAPC people. Anne toured me around the campus. After which, I decided to proceed with my itineraries for the day. My first stop was the MASSAI Market and the Sarit Center. My shopping spree at Massai was truly fun although I found the vendors too aggressive. But at least I got pretty good bargain! I found the Sarit center too commercialized though. Visiting the Village Market was fun too although I was delighted to have bought most of my “pasalubongs” at the massai market. Village Market was too high-end for me. My brief visit at the Nairobi National Park was enough to appreciate the culture and history of this great country. MY day ended with my quick tour of the Nairobi National Park where I personally had first view of really cool safari animals. Too bad I was traveling aone and there was no one to take my pictures with the animals.

Sept.1- The first day of the convention at Safari Park Hotel, Nairobi, Kenya. I was set to present in the afternoon and was truly excited to finally share what I have been doing in the Philippines. My strong conviction to conquer the hearts of the Kenyans gave me the strength to face everything, I knew then that I was alone, I had no support system to lean on—but I have to do it! I knew I would be bringing not only my name but even the dreams of my family and my country. I don’t have the right to evaluate my own presentation but the indicators shown to me by the Kenyans and the other foreign delegates made me so proud of myself and my country. I knew I did well when I received numerous congratulatory remarks after my presentation. The curiosity of the delegates about me and the Philippines grew intensely though after that day. That was the start of my total immersion to the hearts of the Kenyans.

Sept.2-3. I basically spent most of the two days attending the convention. But as the two remaining days came—I became totally in love with the kindness, intelligence, warmth and genuineness of the Kenyans and African people. Although I struggled to understand their official language, Kiswahili, but the ability of the Kenyans to speak really good English made everything easier.

To Be Continued! Please watch out for my next story!

My Kenya Adventure

Sept. 29, 2009, I left for Nairobi, Kenya. Yes, it was my first trip to the continent of Africa and I remember being too excited to venture out to one of my dream lands. I took the famous 5 star airline (Qatar airline) and was patient enough to sit down along the window for 5 hours bound for Doha, Qatar. I was amazed by the very hot temperature when I arrived at Doha (that’s why its in the middle east!). The long wait for my flight to Nairobi was agonizing! Staying awake and kicking for ten hours proved to be very difficult…really, it was. But as I sit down on the waiting lounge of the Doha International Airport—I discovered the true meaning of affiliation—I met so many Filipinos also waiting for their flights. Truly, Filipinos bond when they are in foreign lands. I met this really nice young lady, outspoken and active who was bound for Tunizia, Italy. She narrated out of trust all her plans, her hardships (for leaving her children) and her marital problems. I also met this amazing OFW who shared about his “Napakasakit Kuya Eddie” type of story. His wife apparently left him for another man while he was in the middle east working his spirit out. Admirable too were the group of Filipino young men who were bound for Nigeria for a six months construction work. Not knowing what will lie ahead of them after six months—they took the courage and the guts to leave for Africa. One OFW even shared to me how he struggled to raise $75 (US Dollars) for his baon. And of course, Tita Rose who was bound for Paris. She is a resident now in the land of fashion trying to live her life alone (she apparently forgot to get married because of her being the breadwinner of the family). As I listen to their life stories, I suddenly felt the emotional struggle of our OFW’s. I saw in their eyes varieties of emotions…so deep and so pressing…. We separated after a long wait forgetting even to get our contact addresses or numbers. Although I knew we would all survive---but—that encounter truly made me appreciate our OFW’s…despite of the hardships and the difficulties—their love for their families overpowers everything. I just hope that one day---our kababayans will not have to leave the country and suffer so much just to provide a decent life for their families.

To be continued! watch out for my diary about my kenya adventure!

Training on the Prevention and Treatment of Child Sexual ABuse (part 2)

THANKS TO THE PARTICIPANTS AND CHARISMA!

My Dumaguete Adventure

Visiting Dumaguete is a rare chance! Thanks to DWCL for sponsoring my trip. My 4 days at Dumaguete were big deal to me--personally! Well, the visit was more of a pleasure and pressure trip! I attended the 46th Annual Convention of the Psychological Association of the Philippines and presented my research too!. But more than the pressure of talking about what you worked on to psychology "bigwigs" in the country--its the experience of visiting this beautiful place that matters most to me!

Right in the heart of Dumaguete City is the internationally recognized Silliman University---I loved the laid back life at Silliman. Students seem to be carefree and stress-free. The huge area of Silliman campus are dotted with full grown giant acacia trees. It has a state of the art auditorium for cultural shows & concerts (the Luce Auditorium), a museum, a beautiful library, an Olympic size swimming pool, archery range, tennis and pelota courts, football field, gym, chapels, a Protestant church, cafeteria, dormitories and faculty houses right within the university premises. Silliman is truly a place to visit when in Dumaguete--not to mention the strip of wide beachfront promenade (perfect for reflection when you get a failing mark!).

One cannot simply miss the Rizal Boulevard when in Dumaguete City. Walking along the baywalk in the evening is a memorable experience (especially if you have your "romantic partner" with you! :). The bell tower of St. Catherine of Alexandria Cathedral was also a sight to see (especially in the evening!). The accomodation of the C & L Suite were simply amazing! Their tapsilog was simply sumptous! Cheap accomodation but the warm hospitality is simply awesome! A must have in Dumaguete is a pair of "ukay" shoe from their evening market--i'm sure Richard and Dexter will cry in despair if they saw this tempting picture!

Truly--Dumaguete is a must to visit in the Philippines!Can't wait to go back and just enjoy the beauty of this pearl!

Multiple Intelligences in the Classroom

The theory of multiple intelligences was developed in 1983 by Dr. Howard Gardner, professor of education at Harvard University. It suggests that the traditional notion of intelligence, based on I.Q. testing, is far too limited. Instead, Dr. Gardner proposes eight different intelligences to account for a broader range of human potential in children and adults. These intelligences are:



Linguistic intelligence ("word smart"):
Logical-mathematical intelligence ("number/reasoning smart")
Spatial intelligence ("picture smart")
Bodily-Kinesthetic intelligence ("body smart")
Musical intelligence ("music smart")
Interpersonal intelligence ("people smart")
Intrapersonal intelligence ("self smart")
Naturalist intelligence ("nature smart")

Dr. Gardner says that our schools and culture focus most of their attention on linguistic and logical-mathematical intelligence. We esteem the highly articulate or logical people of our culture. However, Dr. Gardner says that we should also place equal attention on individuals who show gifts in the other intelligences: the artists, architects, musicians, naturalists, designers, dancers, therapists, entrepreneurs, and others who enrich the world in which we live.

So how can teachers apply MI in their classroom activities:

Verbal-Linguistic

choral speaking
declarizing
storytelling
retelling
speaking
debating
presenting
reading aloud
dramatizing
book making
nonfiction reading
researching
listening
process writing
writing journals

Logical-Mathematical

problem solving
measuring
coding
sequencing
critical thinking
predicting
playing logic games
collecting data
experimenting
solving puzzles
classifying
using manipulatives
learning the scientific model
using money
using geometry

Visual-Spatial

graphing
photographing
making visual metaphors
making visual analogies
mapping stories
making 3D projects
painting
illustrating
using charts
using organizers
visualizing
sketching
patterning
visual puzzles

Bodily-Kinesthetic

hands on experiments
activities
changing room arrangement
creative movement
going on field trips
physical education activities
crafts
dramatizing
using cooperative groups
dancing

Musical

humming
rapping
playing background music
patterns
form
playing instruments
tapping out poetic rhythms
rhyming
singing

Interpersonal

classroom parties
peer editing
cooperative learning
sharing
group work
forming clubs
peer teaching
social awareness
conflict mediation
discussing
cross age tutoring
study group
brainstorming

Intrapersonal

personal response
individual study
personal goal setting
individual projects
journal log keeping
personal choice in projects
independent reading

Naturalistic

reading outside
cloud watching
identifying insects
building habitats
identifying plants
using a microscope
dissecting
going on a nature walk
build a garden
studying the stars
bird watching
collecting rocks
making bird feeders
going to the zoo

Kid Power 101!

I had a blast weekend last week! believe me--it was awesome! The day before I went to Holy Child Educational Center (an exclusive school in Iriga City), I remembered being so excited to be working directly with kids again--to my surprise though--(i'm sure--mitch (my IT staff @ the center) was surprised too!)-i discovered that the kids were more excited than me! Many admitted to had 3 to 4 hours sleep--too excited to attend the workshop! (Can you imagine the stress it created in me--at least internally!--i will be working with kids---the greatest critics of all times with amazing energy level (i'm afraid not to come up with their expectations!). Believe me--giving workshops to kids is much more difficult than working with adults. You see, with kids, no matter how good you are at the technical skills of information delivery--you will not doing the best possible job until you regain their joy and passion for learning! Tapping the passion, enthusiasm and joy that children and I were born to share is the greatest challenge!

Anyway, the two days workshop went very well and that experience reminded me again not to underestimate the life lessons kids can teach us everyday---certainly we ‘miss’ out on some things as we make the transition to adulthood but by looking at how children see the world, we can certainly learn (or relearn) some things to introduce in our own lives…

• That its okay to be yourself! Its okay to laugh out loud--or--cry buckets of tears.....that its okay to show your real and genuine emotions!



• For a child, everything is unfolding in real time before his eyes...



• For children, everything - even the most ordinary objects - has to be investigated, touched, and experienced. How I wish I can be like that again--the time and sense to smell the flowers, to appreciate the beauty of the rocks I always pass by every morning, affectionately touch the people I meet daily--etc...



• That when a child loves, his love is unconditional, and when he smiles at you can feel it beaming from him like the rays of a sunbeam--I remember meeting Juled who reintriduced me to the real concept of family! He taught me how to value family relationships once more (by reminding me of our affinity--being cousins--inviting me to their house, asking me to meet his "lolo", etc..)

Now that I'm back in my comfort zone--acting out my "adulthood" again--I cant help but feel rejuvenated (inside and out) after meeting the kids of HCEC! More than the accomplishment I got (after giving what the kids described to me as "the best Workshop!")--its the re-creating effect I got from the kids that matters to me most. Thank you HCEC kids!