PINOY POLITIKO IN HEAVEN!

While walking down the street one day, a powerful Senator of the
Philippines is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in
heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

"Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there
is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so
we're not sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in." says the Senator.

"Well, I'd like to but I have orders from higher-up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in Hell and one in Heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."

"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in Heaven," says the Senator.

"I'm sorry but we have our rules." And with that, St. Peter escorts the
senator to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell.

The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course.
In the distance is a club and standing in front of it are all his friends
and other politicians who had worked with him, everyone is very happy and
in evening dress. They run to greet him, hug him, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at expense of the people. They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster and caviar.

Also present is the Devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good
time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that,
before he realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives him a big hug and
waves while the elevator rises. The elevator goes up, up, up and the door
reopens on Heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.

"Now it's time to visit Heaven."

So 24 hours pass
with the Senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to
cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and before he
realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns. "Well then,
you've spent a day in Hell and another in Heaven. Now choose your
eternity." He reflects for a minute, then the answers: "Well, would never
have thought it, I mean Heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be
better off in Hell."

So Saint Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to
Hell. Now the doors of the elevator open and he is in the middle of a
barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends,
dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags. The
Devil comes over to the Senator and lays an arm on his neck.

"I don't understand," stammers the Senator. Yesterday I was here and there
was a golf course and club and we ate lobster and caviar and danced and had
a great time. Now all there is a wasteland full of garbage and my friends
look miserable. The Devil looks at him, smiles and says,


"Yesterday we were Campaigning.

Today you voted for us!"

Vote Wisely!!!!

10 Steps to Prevent Election Fraud

10 steps to prevent election fraud
By Leila B. Salaverria
Philippine Daily Inquirer
April 22, 2010

MANILA, Philippines—The poll watchdog Kontra Daya has laid out 10 steps, which voters can take to ensure clean, honest and orderly voting on May 10.

"The most effective safeguard against fraud and failure of elections is an enlightened, prepared and observant people. On election day, we are calling on you to be part of the watch against cheating and failure of elections," the group said in a statement.

The 10 things that voters should do or keep in mind are:

1. Look for their assigned precincts and names on the voters' list early;

2. Check if their ballots are clear and free of marks before accepting them from the Board of Election Inspectors. They should reject ballots with marks or dirt because the counting machines may be unable to read them. Also, spoiled ballots cannot be replaced.

3. Voters should make sure that the BEI scans their ballots to show the ultraviolet mark, as these marks would prove the ballots' authenticity.

4. When the counting machine rejects the ballot, the voter has four tries to insert it again. Voters can also fix ambiguous marks or the improper shading of ovals. The BEI should also explain why the ballot has been rejected. If a machine has rejected several ballots, it has to be replaced.

5. Voters should not over-vote, or choose more candidates than necessary for a position, lest their votes be nullified. They should also make sure that they have shaded the ovals next to the names of the chosen bets fully.

6. If a precinct runs out of ballots, a voter can still cast his vote in the next nearest precinct. The BEI should accompany the voter after giving the latter a certification.

7. Make sure that the BEI is the only one that should be handing out the ballots. Local officials, Comelec personnel or Smartmatic technicians should not interfere in the process. Nobody else could also tinker with the counting machines.

8. Voters should see to it that they sign the voters list at the start, and should be marked with indelible ink at the end.

9. Make sure that voting starts at 7 a.m. Voters who are already in line or are within 30 meters of the polling place at 6 p.m., the standard deadline for voting, would still be allowed to vote.

10. Make sure that the police, the military, para-military forces, security guards, barangay officials, armed men and supporters of politicians who are campaigning are barred from the polling precincts. The BEI should send them out.

THE GREATEST ADVICE

THE GREATEST ADVICE
-Rick Warren, the Purpose Driven
Life

Don't date because you are desperate.
Don't marry because you are miserable.
Don't have kids because you think your genes are superior.
Don't philander because you think you are irresistible.

Don't associate with people you can't trust.
Don't cheat. Don't lie. Don't pretend.
Don't dictate because you are smarter.
Don't demand because you are stronger.

Don't sleep around because you think you are old enough & know better.
Don't hurt your kids because loving them is harder.
Don't sell yourself, your family, or your ideals.
Don't stagnate!

Don't regress.
Don't live in the past. Time can't bring anything or anyone back.
Don't put your life on hold for possibly Mr. Right.
Don't throw your life away on absolutely Mr. Wrong because your
biological clock is ticking.

Learn a new skill.
Find a new friend.
Start a new career.
Sometimes, there is no race to be won, only a price to be paid for some
of life's more hasty decisions.

To terminate your loneliness, reach out to the homeless.
To feed your nurturing instincts, care for the needy.
To fulfill your parenting fantasies, get a puppy.
Don't bring another life into this world for all the wrong reasons.

To make yourself happy, pursue your passions & be the best of what you
can be.
Simplify your life. Take away the clutter.
Get rid of destructive elements: abusive friends, nasty habits, and
dangerous liaisons.
Don't abandon your responsibilities but don't overdose on duty.

Don't live life recklessly without thought and feeling for your family.
Be true to yourself.
Don't commit when you are not ready.
Don't keep others waiting needlessly.

Go on that trip. Don't postpone it.
Say those words. Don't let the moment pass.
Do what you have to, even at society's scorn.

Write poetry.
Love Deeply.
Walk barefoot.
Dance with wild abandon.
Cry at the movies.

Take care of yourself. Don't wait for someone to take care of you.
You light up your life.
You drive yourself to your destination.
No one completes you - except YOU.

It isn't true that life does not get easier with age.
It only gets more challenging.
Don't be afraid. Don't lose your capacity to love.
Pursue your passions.

Live your dreams.
Don't lose faith in God.
Don't grow old. Just grow YOU!

When you give someone your time, you are giving them a portion of your
life that you'll never get back.
Your time is your life. That is why the greatest gift you can give to
someone is your time.

Relationships take time and effort, and the best way to spell love is
T-I-M-E because the essence of love is not what we think or do or
provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.
God is good all the time!


Best Wishes n God Bless,
Perry

Quieting the Heart

(This article is an excerpt in the book I am currently writing entitled: "Unleashing the Beauty Within". This will be released by mid of june 2010)

I love having morning walks because I get to appreciate the houses, people and scenes that I pass by. Despite of this enjoyment, there are times when I would barely pay attention to where I am going. From my reflections and observations, these moments happens when I am over-stimulated with work, concerns and lovelife(!) to the point of distraction. I remember though this incident when I walked up the hill with nothing in mind but the feeling of peacefulness. I closed my eyes and began to slowly breathe. As I drew my breath up my nose and felt my chest rise and my lungs filled with air, I immediately felt calmer and I started asking myself when was the last time I paid attention to my breath? To my lungs? To my fingers, toes, arms and legs? While my mind still had remnants of chatter running through it, I began channeling my breath and focusing on how each part of my body reacted to it. It felt good, really good. My work requires lots of silence and I am easily distracted by almost anything. Sometimes there is too much info coming from all directions keeping me destructed to form even a proper thought. As a teacher and mental health service provider, I always feel that I am always busy taking care of others that I forget that I have an inner self not as demanding of my attention but requiring it as much as outer demands do. Sights and sounds from technologies and media permeate both public and private spaces, making it difficult to find quiet places for reflection and thought. Very often, we are surrounded with noise all day long and we keep moving from one task to the other without taking a break to think, to reflect, to introspect.

In this busy phased life, most people forget one aspect of humanity that needs nurturance: the ability to quiet the heart or the ability to be silent from time to time and just reconnect with our inner self.

I met Janine* a year ago when her mother referred this young lass for counseling. Janine’s problem surfaced after she run-away from home and settled in Manila for almost 6 months. Her parents were puzzled why their only daughter had to abscond and leave her comfort zone and work in a bakery with meager salary knowing that her family can provide her needs and even more. During our counseling session Janine revealed to me a very important issue which I believe was never taught of by her parents. Janine felt suffocated with her mother’s constant and regular blubbering. Janine told me how bad she feels every time her mother would start nagging all of them in the family, would complain about almost everything and would chatter her frustrations endlessly. Janine felt throttled, choked and smothered. Thinking that only by going away that she could breathe…she could live.

One cannot underestimate the importance of silence in daily life. Silence can have a profound impact in the way we think, our daily actions and our relationships. In Janine’s case, she felt she needed a breather after the constant battering of her mother. Although I am against her act of running away, I felt that Janine needed the space for her own sanity. Her time off became an avenue to clear the clutter from her mind and to feed her heart and soul.

I am a believer that in order to unleash the beauty within, we should have the heart for silence and stillness. Quieting the heart opens the mind to creativity and better problem solving, builds emotional intelligence and competency and nurtures the inner world and the human spirit. Silence can likewise build resilience skills for life by improving the ability and capacity to think and lessen the numerous human fears all of us share whether it is imagined or real.


“God is the friend of silence. See how nature - trees, flowers, grass- grows in silence; see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence.......... We need silence to be able to touch souls”

-Mother Teresa

Who will I Vote?

All is set for the national and local elections this May 2010. Candidates kicked off their colorful but dramatic campaign trail not only in major cities of this country but even in far-flung provinces. Like the country itself, the election season in the philippines remains to be vibrant, colorful yet chaotic. Honestly, for the past months, I am strongly tempted to write about what I see, hear and experience but I remained quiet because I want to primarily give every candidate the benefit of the doubt. The campaign period is now full-blast and the country's fate is once again in the hands of the Filipino people. Each vote will dictate the future of this small and fragile country. I pray that whatever the result of this election ----it will tide us over!

Sharing with every Filipino people's genuine hope for change, as much as possible I do not want to underestimate who the people will choose--reluctantly, frustratingly, desperately or whole-heartedly. I am keeping my faith for the people to be able to choose the best person who will once again revive the glory the Philippines and bring what it truly deserves. I know for many of the voters, choosing will be a rough and difficult task--just imagine the diversity and the dramatic subliminally emotional campaign shoutout of the different candidates for this election?

-One claimed to have experienced sleeping on a short bench in the market and the death of a brother because the family didn't have money for medicine and proper health care. The message is truely powerful: that he is dirt-poor! But Solita Monsod of Phil. Daily Inquirer wrote in her coloumn entitled: "Awesome Claims" that the brother of this senator actually died at FEU Hospital (with a reputation back then as Makati Med or St. Lukes would have now) on Oct. 13, 1962 after 13 days of hospitalization (didn't have money for medical care?!). Not to mention that this senator actually made a 560 sqm lot a home in Tondo. Too big for a boy to sleep in a short bench!

-Or how about this one candidate who claimed to restore a clean gorvernment for this country when in fact his family is still in conflict with the tenants of their hacienda? How about his support to the infamous Reproductive Health Bill?

-Or this handsome presidentiable who seem to have multiple intelligences. He can fly an airplane, a bemedalled military man, brilliant lawyer and who runs under the flagship of a woman president whose controversies are enormously dirt-big!

Now more than ever the Filipino people should thibnk before casting their votes. With a ready heart, think about each candidate. Who among the many can make a difference? Are we going to give chance to new faces with genuine clear platforms or shall we stick to the old people who disappointed us year after year?

So, who shall I vote?

Home is Where the Heart Is

Last night I had a very unforgettable dream--it was so vivid and clear that until mid-morning today--the scenes kept playing over and over in my mind. The image of Lola Nanay (Nanay Paning) and Mama Cion talking to eachother was amazingly recreated with the backdrop of our old house in Nabua and the topic of their conversation was about the family...The two of them looked so alive in that dream--I heared them talk about keeping the family close and connected. It was a very short but very meaningful dream. Even though I have come a long long way in the study of scientific psychology, the meaning of dreams is still a bit of a mystery to me. DEspite of the freudian influence (that dreams are part of "my" reality), a part of me still believe in dreams as avenue for people (bodied and embodied) to closely connect with eachother.

As I stare at the blank screen of my laptop this morning, I can't help but really think about the meaning of that dream especially the theme of the conversation of Lola Nanay and Mama Cion--were they telling me something? Were they reminding me of family connections? what? The internet gave me clues to those questions. My default internet browser was yahoo but this morning, when I opened my computer, to my surprise, facebook appeared and the photos of my friends displayed on the leftmost section were surprisingly--all family members--all relatives--from both sides, lola paning and mama cion's! At first, it scared the hell out of me! believe me--i was shocked for about 3 minutes as I stared at my screen with flat affect! Now--how can psychology explain that surprising circumstances?!

Anyway, thinking deeply about it--i tried to silently protest--with the widespread success of internet and social networking, people are just simply a mouse-click away. digital photography and email has closely binded families together...but silently my mind started to reflect : IS THIS REALLY ENOUGH? True, technology has brought people closer--but in some ways, is this hampering us also to have a real intimate contact especially with our families?

For the past years, my family (both from mama lyd and papa tony's side) has considerably grown and multiplied. ALong with the growth, we started also to scatter around the world. Because of this, contacts became limited to hi's and hello's--to short messages of "how are you's" or to short and plain responses like "i'm okay". In other words, connections became more colder and emotions became a little distant. With this in mind, I started to ask myself--is it worth it?

I had a flashback to when one of my sisters got so depressed for not getting her long time dream--depressed, depleted and worn-out--I remember what my ate told her---"you have your family....at the end of the day, your world may crumble, your friends may come and go--but the family--it will be one constant element you will have in your life".

Then I remembered the story related to me by a friend--her aunt left her family for America, she suceeded so much there as a medical health practitioner. She happily stayed in america with her children and loving husband---her contact with her family grew fainter and fainter--but when she retired, grew a little bit older, she went back to the basic--she reconnected with her family and made a beautiful wish--to die with her family around....she made contact..she reconnected...

The question on my mind grew--am I going to wait until I am bed-bound to reconnect with family? So the challenge of trying to reconnect with family remains......Now more than ever, I am more drawn to believe that modern technology can never replace a warm hug or a long kwentuhan. When a family is built on love and devotion, we will always find ways to be close...if not in body then at least in spirit! Family is where our roots takes hold and from there we grow.

To my family and relatives--I hope we will not take our family bonds for granted..because with our love and sense of belongingness--we can mold a beautiful creation for today and the generations to come!I hope the attachments that our great grandparents successfully established were enough to carry all of us through life--whereever we may be.

Playing the Jealousy Game

A blog follower of mine texted me last night and asked me to write my thoughts on dealing with jealousy in romantic relationships. Well, I felt flattered but partly too--I felt the pressure--pressure to sit down and think about it and understand the dynamics of this emotion. I handled few relationship problems in my therapy sessions with clients and I would like to really just start from there.

Jealousy as a powerful emotion at times can be normal in relationships. Of course, we all want to be protective and even a little possessive of the people we love and care about. Believe me--some partners like their other half to be a little jealous because one may feel valued and loved when one partner is slightly jealous.

But jealousy can be distrubing and unhealthy too. We all think that jealousy is just one emotion...nah---it's a whole bundle of negative emotions like anger, hurt, betrayal, anxiety, paranoia, sadness, depression and anxiety (whew!:-)!). Toxic jealousy takes possessiveness and protectiveness to the extremes making each situation and reaction inappropriate. If left unchecked and unprocessed, this "green eyed monster" can destroy relationships. It can tear relationships apart. Jealousy can cause insecurity, detachment or even plain immaturity.

Dealing and overcoming jealousy starts of course from AWARENESS. Awareness allows you to see your projected and unknown fears. Awareness of your feelings, emotions and fears will definitely allow you to see the triggers of jealousy. Awareness will be the start of RECOVERING your PERSONAL POWER CONTROL. Instead of exhibiting reactive behaviors, by awareness, you start to control your emotions and its expression.

Good Communication builds bridges. Jealousy will never ruin relationships if there is genuine and good communication. Open communication lines with partners--tell your loveones calmly and gently your fears, insecurities and beliefs (true or untrue). Chances are--your partner will reassure you of his/her love if you open healthy communication lines with him/her. Always choose the "win-win" solution in keeping your relationship.

Cognitive control is also very important--stop wasting your time thinking about your "fear of the unknown"..... instead ---think of ways that will make your relationship stable and satisfying! Remember--if you are confident that you are worth loving---why be afraid?!:-)At times, what you think (negatively about your partner) is not worth the trouble!

There is no definite and easy solution in dealing with jealousy in relationships--it usually requires trial and error and risk-taking to discover what works for you and your partner. So, instead of making a fuss---why dont you enjoy the wonderful relationship you have successfully created.

Happy Loving!

The Gift of Friendship

Life takes people to different directions. Even if you swear that you will stick with eachother for life, reality will always step in the way--you will all have your separate lives. I am not immune to loosing connections with close friends and relatives--I even assured my morbid self that I might meet some of them in heaven (in another life!):-) but fortunately--internet came--so is facebook, friendster, tagged and the other social networking websites! Now im using the tools the internet has to offer to locate, reconnect and re-establish meaningful connections with my long lost friends and loveones! even to relatives i never met, relatives on the other side of the globe and friends I just recently met due to common connection (connect the dots friends!).Now im a becoming a big fan of reunion sites and yahoo groups! The hardest and the scariest part is actually on dialling the number and calling them---because believe me--you will find different reactions--some are too manic and excited to be reconnected with you again--while some appear to be cold and passive and worst---some even forgot you--and you even need to help the person reminisce the good 'ol days just to bring back the memory hidden perhaps on the subconscious level of your friends brain! Now, what im trying to do is to just be a good friend to old friends believing that friendship is even more wonderful the second time around.

Friends are gift from above--their gift of presence is something money cannot buy. Now, more than ever, I am more determined to bring back the connections I lost but now found!

Power of 3!

Yesterday was my 3rd group therapy session with 3 of my teenage clients. Our therapy theme was on finding the inner beauty within. In our meaningful discussion, we focused on defining inner beauty and finding ways to appreciate this beauty that ressonates from within. Life-changing points were raised which were worth reflecting. Allow me to share some of the most beautiful insights that came out from our therapy session which i know cognitively modified the thought patterns of my clients:

• While many people would always equate beauty with outer and physical symmetry, good poisture and amazing body proportions, these shallow definitions makes inner beauty harder to pinpoint or even define.


• So many of us put so much efforts on grooming the outer body (grooming hair, going through invasive procedures just to maintain desired symmetrical body proportions,etc..) but forgetting an important element in the wholistic scope of what makes a person beautiful---our INNER beauty! Inner beauty requires the same cultivation and type of care. Like physical beauty, vow to make your inner being beautiful. Feed your spirit....


• So what is inner beauty? If we invest too much on cosmetics for our outer beauty--inner beauty requires huge investment for COMPASSION, GRACE AND SENSITIVITY.


• Unlike outer beauty, which could mislead people, inner beauty will go beyond what we see. With inner beauty, we can never create our own beauty cliche.


• Inner beauty is less about what you see but more of what you feel for the person. This beauty is certain if you feel connected with a person with a beautiful spirit.


• People who have inner beauty goes beyond shallow apperance obsession...it even goes beyond what eyes can see!

"The best and the most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen..nor touched..but are felt in the heart"-Helen Keller

THE BEAUTY OF A WOMAN

The beauty of a woman

isn't in the clothes she wears

the figure that she carries

or on the way she combs her hair

The beauty of a woman

must be seen from in her eyes

Because that's the doorway to her heart

the place where love resides

The beauty of a woman

Isn't in a facila mole

but true beauty of a woman,

is reflected by her soul

Its the caring she cares to give

the passion that she shows

And the beauty of a woman

with passing years only grows

On Death and Dying 3

Yesterday, I had a scholastic discussion on death and dying with my psychology students. Like many of us, I received the same reactions from my students--that death should be feared and should not be embraced and celebrated. Truly, man is afraid of death. The issue of death for many people stirs something within to search for immortality. In my discussion, I tried convincing my students that death is a reality that is inevitable to all of us--the rich, the poor, the powerful and even the powerless. This is the greatest equalizer of our existence--WE ALL DIE.

Death is the separation of the body from the soul/spirit, the entrance of the soul/spirit to the body is called birth and the soul'd departure from the body is death. Death is the opening of one new level of life or simply it is the transition from one state of being into another. A change of consciousness to another higher plane. Death is not the end of life--it is simply a part of life expressed through a change in form.

We are fearful of death simply because we don't know what happens when the curtain of life closes. The fear of the unknown is the main reason why people have difficulty accepting the reality of death. By accepting our own mortality--we slowly prepare for it. People who prepare for death becomes free and strong. When an infant is born, we prepare for it--so as preparing for death. Accepting death as inevitable part of life will connect us to our humanity. When asked how we should prepare for death? I have one simple answer--the best preparation for death is a well-lived life. There is life beyond death and we should look forward to it! Let us all be reminded of the famous line in the movie Peter Pan: " Death will be an awfully big adventure!"