THe DeAtH oF a sTaR!

I am not a die-hard follower of Michael Jackson--but I can honestly admit that I love his music! There was no denying his talent. MJ combined the beauty of pop music and rhytym and blues.Despite his surreal personal life, lurid legal scandals, serial plastic surgeries and erratic public behavior---I wanted to look at MJ as an artist and a songwriter. MJ as a singer, songwriter, dancer and celebrity icon is a musical reality the world cannot deny. I would be a high breed hypocrit if I will not admit that everybody knew Michael Jackson (from the class A to D to the prisoners). Everyone had watched him perform, sang his songs (remember the thriller fever?!), tried to dance with his music and, yes, everyone was collectively aghast by much of his recent behavior. But let's face it---MJ is MJ and he is a part of our music world. For his legions of fans, he was the Peter Pan of pop music: the little boy who refused to grow up----but magically captured the hearts of millions through his music. MJ became more a character than singer: his sequined glove, his whitened face, his moonwalk dance move became embedded in the cultural firmament--everything made MJ a total unique performer--not ashamed to show who he wanted to become. MJ was constantly in the process of BECOMING!

I asked myself after MJ's death--in what dimension will MJ be remembered? With all honesty--I want to remember him as the unsurpassed entertainer, the gifted and driven song-and-dance artist who wielded rhythm, melody, texture and image to create and promote love and peace in his art....MJ's life even his death stayed remote, styled, rehearsed and choreographed.

To a total performer---may you rest in peace! May your music reach high heavens!

BuS 9 to PaRaDiSe

I finally finished reading the book entitled: "Bus 9 to Paradise" by Leo Buscaglia! The book has been with me (inside my bag) for almost 5 days now--I was planning to finish the entire book by one or two days (the most) but my life demanded so much from me--so--I finished reading this beautiful literature after 5 days. Believe me---after reading this book---I embraced so much my life again! I was hooked at loving life even more. The insights Leo shared in the book reflects his somewhat lighter and very warm life-philosophies.

BUS 9 TO PARADISE presented numerous warm reflections of Leo Buscaglia--very loosely related and almost appeared like a book of meditations. Buscaglia’s main focus this time is to tell everyone to embrace all that life has to offer. Leo's passion for life became even more evident in this book. What I love the most is the part where he wrote reflections about “Death". Leo said that “there is nothing to fear in death as long as we understand that each moment has a life unto itself with as much possibility of joy and happiness as we are willing to bring to it.” Amazing! I can't help but really look into my life and see how I can live the most of it beautifully so that if death comes---I can tell myself that I have lived life to the fullest!

This book made me really reflect how I can make a paradise on earth--with how I live my life. By believing that our existence is precisely what we make it and by embracing the many pleasures life has to offer, we can have unlimited joy--and in the end create the real paradise on earth! Like many of his readers, I would like to take the chance of opening myself to the life-affirming journey to my paradise. I know it will be the beginning of the most important trip i'll ever take!

Read the book and embrace life even more!

ThE COurAge Of a MaN

Like many Filipinos--most of the time--I become frustrated with the political system of our country. Like many, I can't control myself from talking against the government--criticize the TRAPOS (traditional Politicians) and just be apathetic! But you see, when Prof. Randy David declared his intention to run for congressman agaisnt PGMA-- I was slapped! slapped out of my complacency! Randy David's courage hit me real bad! Philippines need more good intentioned people to take up the challenge to go against the trapos dominating the phil government. I felt that like David, we need to just stop complaining and do something about our frustration (at least positively displace these negative feelings!). Writing this entry will definetly be my first step. Randy David's declaration to stand against PGMA is a new voice--a new voice for change. But Prof. David, though, won't make much of a difference if he goes at it alone. We need people to back him up---like Panlilio--David is a choice among the lesser evil. David lamented that "Hindi puedeng salita na lang tayo nang salita [We can't just keep on talking] when we know something is wrong," David said, referring to Ms Arroyo's purported plan to stay longer in power via a parliamentary system of government. We have to take note that seat in Congress can be a step to clinch the speakership and later the prime minister's post if her allies succeed to include political provisions in Charter amendments.

With Prof. David's possible running against PGMA would be a good move for the democratic process in the country because voters would have more choices---more options to choose from. David's life of honor (as a professor), integrity (as a coloumnist) and good example (as a Father and Husband) will definitely convince good natured people (and thinking men and women) like me to put him in the congress.

I hope this event in our country will awaken our sensitivity against the evil (people and system) prevaling in our political arena.

Go Professor David! Take the challenge---remember--it was the small "David" (like you) that killed GoLIath!

ThE LeSSons FrOm NoAh's ArK

Everything I need to know about life, I learned from Noah's Ark

One : Don't miss the boat. In OTHER WORDS---GRAB THE LITTLE OPPORTUNITIES LIFE HAS IN STORE FOR YOU! You'LL NEVER KNOW IF THAT CHANCE WILL FACE YOU AGAIN! TAKE THE RISKS!!

Two : Remember that we are all in the same boat. IN OTHER WORDS---EMOTIONAL SENSITIVITY IS IMPORTANT. BEFORE ANYTHING ELSE--REMEMBER THAT WE ARE ACCOUNTABLE NOT ONLY TO OURSELVES BUT TO OTHERS AS WELL.

Three : Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark. IN OTHER WORDS--THERE'S NO HARM IN LOOKING AT YOUR FUTURE--WE CANNOT DO ANYTHING ABOUT OUR PAST--ITS OVER AND DONE--BUT WE CAN DEFINITELY DO SOMETHING ABOUT OUR PRESENT AND FUTURE!

Four : Stay fit When you're 600 years old, someone may ask you to do something really big.IN OTHER WORDS--LIFE IS TRULY FULL OF SURPRISES!! BE READY TO BE GIVEN THE SHOCK(S) OF YOUR LIFE ALL THE TIME! TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF SO THAT YOU'LL BE READY FOR ALL THE UNEXPECTED EVENTS !

Five : Don't listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done..IN OTHER WORDS--AT TIMES IT'S BEST TO BE DEAF! FOLLOW YOUR HEART AND KNOW YOUR POTENTIALS!

Six : Build your future on high ground.IN OTHER WORDS---WHEN YOU PLAN--CONSIDER THE RISKS BUT DONT LET THESE PRECONCEIVED DANGERS STOP YOU--RE-ENGINEER YOUR PLANS---YOU'LL NEVER KNOW--IT MIGHT WORK!

Seven : For safety's sake, travel in pairs.IN OTHER WORDS--ITS ALWAYS NICE TO HAVE A FRIEND TO SHARE YOUR PASSION AND FRUSTRATIONS IN LIFE! LIFE IS MORE BEAUTIFUL WHEN SHARED WITH OTHERS.

Eight : Speed isn't always an advantage. The snails were on b oard with the cheetahs.IN OTHER WORDS--SMELL THE FLOWERS FROM TIME TO TIME! ENJOY LIFE'S LITTLE STOP-OVERS!

Nine : When you're stressed, float for a while. IN OTHER WORDS--CHILL! TAKE TIME TO STOP AND HAVE A BREAK!

Ten : Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals---IN OTHER WORDS--DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE WHAT YOU CAN DO AND WHAT'S INSIDE OF YOU!

GREATEST LESSON: No matter the storm, when you are with God, there's always a rainbow waiting...

Pano mo Malalaman na Mahal Ka ng GF mo?

Today I opened my blog and was surprised to know that I had 1 inquiry pala on my "Pinoy Ligaw" entry. Sorry I was really busy for the past days---I hope I did not disappoint the person who entered that comment...I suppose to0---you are a guy--from the tone of your comment--I got an impression that you are a guy who had fallen head over heels with your girlfriend---but wanted to know signs if your girl loves you too!right?

Anyway, love....Amour..... Amore--such a beautiful but complicated issue!! The signs of true love are melodramatic --anyway--from my experiences of working with adults and teens (and from my own experiences too!)--these are the signs that the person is truly sincere with you:

1. Willingness of your partner to be exclusive--in dating you!When your partner is willing to admit that she's willing to share the power (exlvusivity with you) and admit her vulnerability, not only she is in love, but she will sound like a rational, fairly adult soul .

2. Her willingness to go someplace she actually hate or do something she's not use to doing in the past with someone she actually love — and not be a pain in the neck about it — are signs of the hallmarks of love.

3. If she has that hunger to discover who you are--thats a good sign too!

4. The most important sign though is this: IF SHE ALLOWS YOU TO BE YOURSELF!!! That is a very important aspect you have to look into. You see, when you're in a truly loving relationship, you can be honest and direct and take chances with yourself and the relationship!

Loving is a good feeling--patuloy na mag mahal!

LeSSons fRom mY ViRtUaL MeNtOr

I would like to share the greatest lessons I've learned from the mentor I only met in books--Leo Buscaglia!

ON LOVE

• A total immersion in life offers the best classroom for learning to love.
• 
  
• As soon as the love relationship does not lead me to me, as soon as I in a love relationship do not lead another person to himself, this love, even if it seems to be the most secure and ecstatic attachment I have ever experienced, is not true love. For real love is dedicated to continual becoming.
  
  

• 
  It's not enough to have lived. We should be determined to live for something. May I suggest that it be creating joy for others, sharing what we have for the betterment of personkind, bringing hope to the lost and love to the lonely.
• One does not fall "in" or "out" of love. One grows in love.

• This loving person is a person who abhors waste — waste of time, waste of human potential. How much time we waste. As if we were going to live forever.

• Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.

• We need not be afraid to touch, to feel, to show emotion. The easiest thing in the world is to be what you are, what you feel. The hardest thing to be is what other people want you to be. Don’t let them put you in that position.

• We need others. We need others to love and we need to be loved by them. There is no doubt that without it, we too, like the infant left alone, would cease to grow, cease to develop, choose madness and even death.

Speaking Of Love (1980)
Go around — listen to how many times a day you say, "I love" instead of, "I hate." Isn't it interesting that children, as they learn the process of language, always learn the word "no" years before they learn the word "yes"? Ask linguists where they hear it. Maybe if they heard more of "I love, I love, I love" they'd hear it sooner and more often.

• DON'T MISS LOVE. It's an incredible gift. I love to think that the day you're born, you're given the world as your birthday present. It frightens me to think that so few people even bother to open up the ribbon! Rip it open! Tear off the top! It's just full of love and magic and joy and wonder and pain and tears. All of the things that are your gift for being human.

• Who is the loving person? The loving person is the person who loves him or herself. I say this so often, and people say, "Oh yes, you're so right," but they don't do it! You will never be able to love anyone else until you love yourself. Even With your Fat Thighs!

• The hardest battle you’re ever going to fight is the battle to be just you.
• When I wrote my book, LOVE, it was really funny, because my publisher said, "Oh, Leo, you're going to have to change the name because I'm sure that someone has used that name before." I said, "Why don't you send it in and see what happens?" So we sent it in and I got the "copyright" for LOVE! No one had ever thought of a book called simply Love. L-O-V-E. Such a good word. Such a limitless word. Such a limitless concept.

• Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life.

Living, Loving, and Learning (1985)

• People are not here to meet your expectations.
• 
  I have a lot of things in my classes that I call 'voluntarily mandatory.' One of the things that is voluntarily mandatory is that every student come to see me in my office at least once. I cannot teach bodies. I can only relate to people. And so I say, 'Come in, and we will sit across from one another. I don't want to talk about the texts or the class. We can do that another time. I just want to know the last time you saw a unicorn and do you still believe in primeval forests. And when you come, I am going to touch you — and if that bothers you, take your tranquilizer.' It is amazing how many are intimidated by someone who says, 'I want to touch you.' I was raised in a large Italian family, as most of you know, and everybody hugs everybody all the time. On holidays everyone gets together, and it takes forty-five minutes just to say hello and forty-five minutes to say goodbye. Babies, parents, dogs — everyody's got to be loved! And so I have never suffered that existential feeling of not being. If someone can hug you and not go through you, you are. Try it sometime.

• About two years ago a young lady came into my office, and I knew immediately something was wrong. Her eyes were kind of glazed, and her head was nodding, and I asked, 'What's the matter"' She replied, 'Oh, Dr. Buscaglia, in order to get enough courage to come to see you, I had to drink a whole bottle of Ripple! And I think I am going to be sick!' Imagining... having to drink a bottle of Ripple to summon up the courage to come to see me. All I do is put my hands out and say, 'Hi.' I cover their hands with mine and lead them into my office, and I can see a look of panic on their faces, 'What's he going to do to me?' I am not going to do anything to you! I just want you to know that I cry, too, and I feel, too, and I care, too, and I don't know everything, too, and therefore, we can start with a common frame of reference — human being to human being. If anybody tries to play the game of 'follow the guru' with me, they will be lost, for they will learn that I am just as confused as they are. The difference may be that I know it. A Buddhist teacher once said to me, 'Why do you keep moving? You are already there.' And all of a sudden it occurred to me — my goodness, I am!

Born For Love (1994)

It is when we ask for love less and begin giving it more that the basis of human love is revealed to us.

Truly--LEO is one passionate man who celebrated the positive power of love!

fan of LeO!

If there is one wellness guru I'd like to follow--its none other than---the wonderfully wise and deep--LEO BUSCAGLIA! Leo-- author of books such as Living, Loving and Learning and Born for Love is a renowned lecturer at theUniversity of Southern California. If you read one of his numerous and equally enriching books--you will immediately see the humor and the extraordinary warmth that come through his every insightful lines. His diverse view of life and love have captured even the coldest heart! Among his numerous insights--I cannot forget the simple quote that always drive me to love---leo said that "Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life". What a simple but beautiful thought! His true-to life- and practical ideas are always presented in familiar and zesty fashion. Repeatedly, Leo (in his writings) always insisted that people must trust in loving passionately---and that if it is love that we give to others, we will have forever! Such insights are so powerful that it can turn one's life around! spinning its soul to its core!

To the mentor I only met in books---I salute you for touching the deepest core of my soul!

2nd and 3rd Wave of the National Training on Anti-Bullying

Please watch out for the 2nd and 3rd wave of my National Training on Anti-Bullying. The 2nd Wave will be on July 18, 2009 at the Asian Social Institute, Manila (endorsed by the Department of Education-National Office) and the 3rd wave will be on August 8, 2009 at Teachers Camp, Baguio City! Watch out for the 4th wave in Cebu City by 1st week of Sept.! Way to go!!! The book: Fight the BUlly Battle is again available at National Bookstores nationwide!

Why God Made Hugs

I love advocating the healthy effect of HUGS in our own wellness...I always include the infamous "free hug" exercise in my wellness sessions and I'm a firm believer of the advocacy and the theory of the famous Virginia Satir. Social scientist, Dr. Virginia Satir, says that four hugs a day will help you survive the blues but a dozen is better. After speaking in the annual meeting of the American Orthopsychiatric Association, she said that more hugs would make people happier. She said that four daily hugs are necessary for survival, eight are good for maintenance, & twelve for growth. Its seem difficult to understand but mind you--the effect is magnificient! I always believe that the world has become colder--everyone is now busy making money--proving their worth in their respective careers---but forgetting the beauty of affection and what it brings to our over-all health and wellness. Affection is a nice feeling & has a wonderful way of lifting one's spirit & brightening one's day. It's so encouraging & uplifting. A little affection can say so much & go a long way---little hugs communicates love! So--have you hugged someone today?

LeTtiNg Go of bRokEn ReLatiOnShips

Today, Isuffered the consequence of late-night-texting syndrome! Believe me--I hate it when I lack sleep--so today--I'm not the typical happy person :)!!! I slept so late last night because of a young girl who asked for an advice (via text!) on her current relationship status! I cannot say no to her because she sounded so desperate to talk to someone--not to mention the fact that she attended my growth and wellness sessions at her school (i have strong emotional affiliation with my participants thats why!:)

She told me about her recent break-up with her boyfriend. She described her relationship as a rollercoaster love affair--many times fulfilling and happy--but many times ---its toxic! They quarrel often (she described these incidents as "very intense") but usually they end up in eachothers arms again (after lambasting and calling each other names!)....

I promised her though that I would write an entry on my blog about what I have in mind regarding her situation.

I always believe that having ambivalent relationships in your life where interactions are sometimes supportive and positive and sometimes hostile or negative—can actually cause more stress than relationships that are consistently negative! The stress level in roller coaster relationships are even more intense making it not worth the amount of work required to maintain it. Most of the time, if you are in a broken relationship--you have to ask yourself that if you give this relationship the effort it deserves, would it benefit you and enrich your life in the end? Would it make you even more happier? After answering this question, you should have a clearer picture of whether this relationship is positive or negative for you. BUt mind you---staying in an "energy-filled" relationship can be draining and psychologically depleting! Instead of exhausting too much from a broken relationship like this--why not reserve your energy for a more mature and satisfying relationship-maybe with another person or with the same person (provided that both of you work on making the relationship a little mature!).

Many times women, over and over again, lead lives of desperation holding on to their roller-coaster relationships by convincing themselves on a daily basis that they will not be better off alone--so they stay in a this kind of connection. Some women believe that by staying in a bad bond they will somehow help their mate become better. But believe me girl, by becoming aware of the condition of your relationship--this will save you time, pain and stress--open your eyes and try to convince yourself not to stay in a very unstable affiliation because in the end--this will become abusive.

Getting help from friends and family or even professional help, depending on the severity of your situation, may be the right choice and a healthy first step to letting go of a broken relationship. Remember, loving involves an unwavering array of emotions.......good luck!