StResS@WoRk

My work is stressful--I must admit that!With the changing lifestyle, demands and pressures at work, I find it harder than ever to cope with challenges on the job--which I bet many people can relate with as well! Both the stress I take with me when I go to work and the stress that awaits me on the job are on the rise – and employers and subordinates all feel the added pressures!As I reflect on my job--I soon realized that the nature of my work is changing at whirlwind speed. Perhaps now more than ever before, job stress poses a threat to my self (physically) and my colleagues as well.

While some stress is a normal part of life, excessive stress interferes with your productivity and reduces one's physical and emotional health, so it’s important to find ways to keep it under control. Fortunately, there's a lot that we can do to manage and reduce stress at work. The ability to manage stress in the workplace can make the difference between success or failure on the job. So, what are the stress management techniques that works for me(that may work for you too!)---let me share them with you:

MY STRESS SUTRA

1. I make reading a stress-reliever! For some--reading can be a source of stress but for me--reading is something that relaxes me! When I read--its like I'm in another lifetime---reading transports me to a different world.

2. Balance between work and family or personal life. I personally see to it that I dont bring work at home. Spending time with family and friends help me recover my depleted energy! I always remind myself that heavy workload, infrequent rest breaks, long work hours and shiftwork; hectic and routine tasks that have little inherent meaning, do not utilize my full skills and provide little sense of control!So why not take a break if you feel that stress building. Walk away from the situation. Take a stroll around the block, sit on a park bench, or spend a few minutes meditating. Exercise does wonders for the psyche. But even just finding a quiet place and listening to your iPod can reduce stress. (I love my ipod really---it makes wonders!)Personally, when I am stressed out--I find and protect whatever time I get to refresh, re-energize and re-motivate myself. I spend quality time with my family because they are excellent source of emotional and moral support.

3. A support network of friends and coworkers matters a lot! Family and friends do wonders in terms of stress management! In my case---im more than happy to have supportive collegues and bosses! Their presence matters a lot in terms of my own stress management coping skills! Truly--they possess the GIFT OF PRESENCE!

4. A relaxed and positive outlook matters. Staying connected with my internal emotional experience help me manage my own emotions. Knowing what you are feeling will not only add to your self confidence and improve your self control but enhance your understanding of others and help you build more satisfying relationships.

5. I cultivate allies at work. Just knowing that I have one or more co-workers who are willing to assist me in times of stress truly reduces my stress level. I just always remember to reciprocate and help them when they are in need as well.

6. I find humor in the situation. When I– or people around me– start taking things too seriously, I find a way to break through with laughter by sharing a joke or funny story. Believe me---it works!

Today, job stress is more common than in any other days and the competition being cut throat, people will persevere through anything.Knowing every factor about stress and how it affects you will enable you to deal with stress more specifically because you will be able to identify every aspect of stress at work. Always remember that we are always in control of our life----so we can manage stress!

HAPPY WORKING!

Single and Satisfied!

Im 31---single, unattached and happy! Little has been spoken about being single at 31----fairytales painfully strikes me hard on my face especially the part where-- living “happily ever after” meant finding your Prince Charming or Princess and being saved from a life of loneliness (duh!). Living single at 31 in my province is truly a struggle---(relatives always remind you of your being always the bridesmaid and never the bride!). Unspoken languge is pressingly painful when people start asking you the brutal question of: "have you not met mr right yet?!--what a pity!)If I could shout to the world that its fun to be single--i would--just imagine the enormous benefits of being happy and unattached! In being single:

• You don't have to feel guilty about staring at an extremely handsome man in the coffee shop. Dating is a fun activity. You get to know new people and you can have casual about anything and everything


• Your money is your own. If you want to spent your mothly salary in Hong KOng or plainly divisoria--- it's entirely up to you. There's no one to nag you to put it in the bank for a rainy day (except when your parents enters the picture!)


• By being single--you manage your moods by your own--your partner can’t come home and dampen your mood! You can frown even until you close your eyes to sleep! and the extreme part of it--you dont suffer in silence--when your partner SNORES!


• You can decorate and redecorate your room--or house--anytime! No one will nag you to pick your own trash! You also won’t have to pick up socks or underwear that isn’t yours! (imagine!)


• You don’t answer to anyone. If friday is your yoga day--or poker game with friends no one can tell you otherwise. If you want to go to the gym or eat popcorn for dinner? Go ahead and be merry!


• You can devote more time to your career.


• Meet your friends whenever you’d like and "ukay" to the max!


• You only have one set of family and relatives (in laws!) to deal with. While it can be great to have a large family , it can also be a pain in the ass at times. If you’re someone that prefers a more quiet dinner and holidays by just dealing with one goofy family (your own!), being single can afford you a calmer celebration.

Please dont get me wrong--I am an advocate of married life--if you feel that IT IS PART OF GOD'S PLAN FOR YOU (and you're conscious about it) --JUST GO FOR IT--but if you feel that god is calling you in this kind of life (single blessedness!) then--don't die of desperation---there is life in being single and unattached!

a time for everything

Life's Little Lessons

I always believe that the greatest teacher is LIFE! everyday--a marvelous lesson is taught.With every new day---exciting lifetime opportunities unfolds in our very eyes...and we have to be prepared to face all of these mysteries----opportunities to LIVE--TO LEARN AND TO GROW. As we little by little open our eyes to the wonders of life's lesson---our awakenness becomes distinct and define. As i reflect on my life now--I cant help but ponder on life's little lessons and see how I've been learning.

A. On self-love. I believe that the easiest thing to do in the world and yet we are so afraid to do is is to be US--to express who we really are. Truly, many times, its difficult to just be ourselves...so many people expects something different from us---these expectations usually leads us to another direction--at times--much different from what we truly want for ourselves.

B. On Affection and Warmth. Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn our and other people's lives around. The world had been turning upside-down--making all of us cold even in our expression of love and care. We need not be afraid to touch, to feel or to show emotion. The easiest thing in the world is to be what and who we are, what we feel. The hardest thing to be is what other people want us to be.

C. On our human needs.We need others just as we need ourselves. We need others to love and we need to be loved in return. There is no doubt that without it, we too, like the infant left alone, would cease to grow, cease to develop, choose madness and even death.But now--how come there is so much loneliness, so much pain and so much feeling of so "unloved" in people? Isnt not that if we miss love--we're missing life too?

Life is turly our responsibility--let us learn from each lessons and see what we can do to live life to the fullest. The challenge continues.....

Heaven is never too far

Around 1 AM today, my family received a news that brought so much sadness and grief in my heart. As if God was reminding me of my mortality that he once again asked one of my family members to cross over and join him in heaven. This event again reminded me of the reality of life. Truly, death does not come when it is expected—like a thief in the night. When a family member dies, the whole family is plunged into despair. It is heartbreaking to imagine that this person who was previously so active and full of life—now lying physically—as if feeling numb and empty. Lola A spent most of her lifetime with my family. She was my mother’s nanny (yaya) when she was 11 years old. She remained as the yaya until my mother (an only child) got married, gave birth to 6 children and until all her wards (alaga’s) graduated college. Lola A is not your ordinary and typical nanny—her love for my grandmother (Lola A vowed to take care of the family until the end), for my mother and us was something extraordinary—magical and unconditional. She was more than a nanny—she was like a mother—a doting mother actually. The loyalty and faithfulness she showed to my family was something one cannot fathom easily. Weeks before she died she told me in our informal conversation how much she’s proud of all of us. I know in my heart—she is a huge part of what we are now as persons. Lola A together with my grandmother must be smiling in heaven for such a beautiful accomplishment. Together with my parents, they produced children who all grew up to be people of virtue. They created 2 priests, 2 college professors who are truly happy with their family life and 2 young adults both doing well in their chosen careers…all God fearing and lovable as persons.

Lola A as you now start your journey in heaven---let our love bring you home and show you the way to eternal happiness. The love and care you showed to us through the years will be enough to sustain us through our own lifetime. Together with Nanay Paning---Fly High Lola A….fly high….heaven is never too far Lola A! You’ll still be in our hearts –while you are in heaven—watch over us and continue teaching us—guide us—Lola A, you have taught us so much but we know there is still so much to know… Lola A---no matter how far away you seem ---heaven is never too far!

Music for Healing

I love music!really!music is one thing that i cant remove from my system---my colleagues at work and my family can attest to that! my morning will not be a good start without music either on my laptop, desktop or my ipod! When i travel---i have music with me as companion--in my old rusty car---my cd player turns on automatically when i turn on the engine (if the car could talk!)---truly--music is a huge part of me. You will not probably believe me--but--i also use music in my work--as a therapist and life coach. Music then is a big part of my healing ministry--I use music to help heal my clients on multiple levels--physiologically and psychologically. From my experiences--i know how music touches the spirit ---I assess my own and my client's emotional well-being, physical health, social functioning, communication abilities, and cognitive skills through musical responses; I enculcate music in all my group sessions, trainings and support groups using music improvisation based on the nature of my sessions, I apply receptive music listening, song writing, lyric discussion, music and imagery in my deeper interventions. Music is truly a gift from God! Most of my psychologist-friends told me that i am not the typical therapist---i sing with my client, i give counseling at a coffee shop, I do chat (ym) counseling and I ask my clients to use music to help them in their personal healings. In working with children, I always believe that music holds the delightful element of play. Play-filled music experiences provide children the quality repetition necessary to maintain the their interest and motivate them toward the mastering of therapy goals and skills. Allow me then to share with you several songs (some of them were even chart toppers!) i love to use as a healing tool---

1. Healing by Jed Mandela (beautiful!)--watch the video I made using this song!
2. Reflections-Mulan Soundtrack
3. There for me by Josh Groban
4. And other Josh Groban Songs
5. I can-Regine Velasquez (what an empowering song!)
6. Journey to the past-anastasia sound track
7. Songs of Natalie Grant (totally love the songs: "held" and "in better hands"--jaw dropper!)
8. Because of you by kelly clarkson
9. The Healing Songs in the Kris Aquino Healing Album (i love all the songs!)
10. Most of Phil Collin songs
11. other disney movies soundtracks

Happy Listening! enjoy the gift of music!

A new year--a new beginning

Its new year! Time to jump start the new year with new life! This new beginning is a perfect time for me to start in a blank slate--smooth the way for a new life ahead! As i look back--i felt that God has been good---blessings poured out and so as trials that made me a stronger femme! with the memories of 2008---i can only look back and smile---2008 had been a good year for me! the blessings were enormous than the trials (or its the other way around--only that i overfocus on the blessings rather than on the trials!).For this year-- i promise to concentrate on what is important to me--my family, my advocacy and my career. For this year too, i hope to be thankful for the new and out with the old---probably give honor where honor is due and most importantly---forget about what Ihear from others (especially the backfighting--the criticism that is intended to hinder my personal goals) and just focus on what my life can produce!

One of my closest friend told me that in order for my life to be measurable--i should learn to make and plan for concrete goals every year. True enough--when i started writing down what i wanted to do with my life last year---my life had direction! really.

so for this year-- i hope to:

1. Finish another manuscript for publishing (really?!!)

2. pay all my debts! (credit cards!)--

3. finish my PHD! (really?!)

4. exercise more! (hahahahaha)

5. How about looking for the right guy?(duh!)

I dont want to put more exceptional goals--the first 4 above are enough and the fifth one--maybe a bonus!--at least for this year!

RapU-rApU Fan!

I love Rapu-Rapu island! God must have loved this island so much that he blessed this small and fragile island with scenic beaches, lush and abundant flora and fauna, boundless mineral richness and marine bio-diversity, Rapu-Rapu Island is a gateway to the Pacific Ocean and serves as the natural breakwater of the Albay Gulf from natural onslaughts. My 3 days stay at Rapu-Rapu proved to be truly rewarding. The people are great (especially the Baldres Family--who willingly adopted us!) and the island itself is one of the best!

Rapu-Rapu island----until our next visit!

ThE BeautY of CaTanduAneS

Lying east of Bicol mainland, Catanduanes is an island paradise in the Pacific. While many Filipinos dream of swimming in the blue sea water of phuket, thailand---the locals of Catanduanes are lucky enough to have their own version of the beautiful thailand within their neighboorhood--virgin and unspoiled. Thevisit to this island is more than just exploring its unspoiled beaches or enjoying surfing at Puraran Beach located on the northside.
Catanduanes offers much more. It is rich in history, blending quaintly with the peaceful jutting mountains all over the island.

Believe me--island life is not as quiet as it seems in Catanduanes! This island, which they also call, “An Eco-Adventure Paradise,” is for those who like nature at its best. The whole strip of this pearly island of the Pacific is almost untouched, unblemished, and unexplored. It has a long string of palm-fringed beaches and deep blue waters against a backdrop of luxuriant grassy mountains, and a totally laid-back rural charm and crowned with jewel-like island. You will be dazzled by the provinces' rugged and various landscapes, undiscovered caves, tamed white sand beaches and colorful marine life. You will never really expect such a wonderful gift of nature exists in this country. Mabuhay ang Catanduanes!

Surviving the Jungle

Suriviving the modern jungle today is one of the greatest challenges to humankind. the jungle I am referring to is none other than--OUR WORK! Life and work balance for many people is paramount to their happiness. -With the dawning of the new decade (of poverty and terrible financial crisis)-it's a common belief that work is nose-to-the-grindstone drudgery and that loving—truly enjoying—one's job is impossible.

I am a multi-spirited worker. I wake up six o'clok in the morning--and be at my work seven-thirty even if my duty calls at nine, i stay in the office til 7:30 in the evening and do my work with less than 30 mins break every day.... maintaning that "work spirit" is enormously challenging; upholding a positive and open state of mind, a full sense of self and a sense of higher order can be truly difficult ( especially if people around you at times fails to look at the energy with the same intensity and intention). But however difficult work can be---I make sure that I have the "fun" energy to start the day. I'm a firm believer that the more joyful and excited a person feels about his/her work, the more the productivity goes up. There's no question about it.

Prodded by a quest for the higher efficiency needed to compete in the career-market, I am now personally jumping on this so called "love your job" bandwagon. Even if most of the time I get so much pressure from work, i still try to look at it as something joyful. Honestly, there's a great relief when I connect with my work--emotionally. Most of the time, work is the natural and the crucial way for me to express who I really am. As another day comes, I believe its still up to each of us to take responsibility for our own job satisfaction---loving your work is a mental state and it begins with looking into our very own "work-spirit".

Happy working!