Her Gentle Presence

If there would be one person who can anticipate all my needs, read my deep-seated emotions and interpret my experiences meaningfully, it would be my mother. Call it mental telepathy--but my mom is a true mind and heart reader! Her concern for me and my siblings is something so wonderful and pressingly lasting. My gratitude for my mom, for her gentle presence is something I will not let loose. In moments of despair and loneliness, mama lyd's smile always calm us, always reassuring us that everything will fall into places. Mama Lyd spells out all the qualities a loving and nurturing mother could be. Today she reassured us that despite of the impending danger (typhoon), we will all be okay. Her virtues and capacity to love unconditionally are her investments. How blessed I am to have been born to such a wonderful mother. Her strength and wisdom guides me, her zest for life inspires me, her kindness and grace warms me. I can only wish to have the light that she gives for my siblings and the people she served-for she touches all around her with a kindred grace. I cant help but be truly grateful to God for giving me this wonderful woman--our gentle shield, comfort and friend.

Grace to See the Beauty

When I opened my email today I was shocked to find 137 new emails. The biggest number so far--- breaking my daily record of emails received. The emails were mostly from friends and relatives abroad who, like any other Filipinos overseas-- were extremely concerned with the effect of Typhoon Ondoy and now--the coming of the second typhoon, Pepeng. Many of my friends and relatives even more panicked when they heared of the tsunami and earthquake in Indonesia, knowing the proximity of Indonesia to the Philippines. For the past days I cant help but be affected emotionally by this disaster. Memories of my personal experience of typhoon reming (2006) and the Hubo landslide (2008) kept coming in. I tried making myself extra busy at work and in my center but I would be a hypocrite if I will not admit that the news, the pictures, the videos kept on reminding me of the past. As the massive devastation of the record downpour from Typhoon "Ondoy" unraveled few days ago, I cannot help but feel a little depressed...Bicolanos can swear how hard the road to recovery was and personally, I do not want other Filipinos to go through that again! The stories of tragedy, separation, displacement of families, etc.. it pains me so much. It shakes me to my very core. With the coming of typhoon pepeng, its double victimization for the people. Four days after the nce-in-a-lifetime flood that submerged most of Manila and neighboring areas, claiming nearly 250 lives, now---Typhoon Pepeng is lurking in the eastern part of the country making people more afraid as its course signals more storms, more destruction, more tragic stories and maybe more deaths. I can't help but imagine the scene after typhoon reming--people crammed into hundreds of schools, gymnasiums and other makeshift evacuation shelters---together with the discomfort, the emotional victimization is even more devastating.

I hope the Philippines will beautifully emerge as survivor after these large scale disasters. Now I am determined to be more prayerful and take responsibility not only to myself but my fellowmen and my country. I know how resilient the Filipinos are--and I am praying that God will even bless us with courage and the grace to see beauty in the midst of chaos.

A Night of Spiritual Inspiration: SVD Gospel Concert

Watching high-energy shows like the SVD Gospel Concert last friday and saturday was truly a different experience--spiritually and emotionally! The performers (Fr. Raul Caga, SVD, the ARnoldus Company, the DWCL Chorale and Dance Company) led by the superb musical director, Nez Marcelo and the ever artistic choreographer, Raymund Marcaida, the concert united the Albayanos in spirit and delivered God's message of love, joy, peace, hope and healing through their common passion: singing! Their animated delivery made the night even more memorable. The songs ignited gently the spirits within. After witnessing the two nights of spiritual inspiration, I knew our efforts were worth it!

Preparing for this concert was a stressful task. The organizers were given very limited time to really prepare for the big event. I remember being asked by my bosses to be a part of the few core members who will organize and brainstorm on the concert. After meeting the members of the core group--I knew everything will be okay. With Fr. Rikki, Frat Gilbert and Iris (and Ronan too!) as my partners--I knew immediately that everything will turn out right. The work started a month before the concert. Multi-tasking was the name of the game for each of us. I remember working on my backlogs, going to my center regularly for my therapy sessions with clients, preparing my talks (for my trainings), rushing my PhD papers and working on my third book while heading the secretariat for the concert--I don't even know why I remained sane despite of the complexities!

Meeting Fr. Raul again was a refreshing experience. I remember his first gig a year ago--it was a blast!When I learned that Fr Raul will be the lead singer--I knew I need not worry. He is a total performer. Fr Raul's singing was simply awesome especially with his scaling stratospheric octaves that wowed the 1000+ audience. Meeting Rama and Nez (Chereographer & Director) for the first time in a posh hotel even more assured me that the concert will turn out right! Rama's energy and beautiful disposition made everything so easy! Nez's simplicity and impressive musicality brought the house down! No wonder why Rama and Nez were super loved by the DWCL kids (grade school chorale)!

Meeting the SVD Fratres completed the picture! Their warmth and youthfullness made everything so light and enjoyable! JOnas was the clown of the group--with his playfullness and inocence (really?:)) --laughter became an easy commodity! Junjun's serious but so loving pesonality made all of us look forward to his visit (bitin eh!), Jerome's comic antic entertained us in the midst of energy depletion, John's happy disposition made all the hardwork really light, Dennis' good looks and shy personality made the college girls jump for joy and Louie's magnificient voice and intelligence (proven when I sat down with him and discussed scholarly issues during our midnight healthy break) completed the perfect picture.

The two days spirit filled musical activity became a true festival of music, prayer and dances.Many friends who watched the concert told me how the show touched their lives!Truly God works in magnificient ways--those two nights were a proof of that! I counted myself extra lucky watching the concert upclose! I knew instantly that the show was amazing when the audience started to roar in screams!

Bravo to Fr. Raul, the Arnoldus Company, the DWCL Performers, Rama and Nez! Hope to see you all in Legazpi again!

New Feel Good Movies!

Due to insisitent public demand--i am sharing with you new feel good movies I recently watched which mental health professionals could use in their diverse ministries (teaching, therapy, counseling, etc..).

UP (Pixar Film)

The story is about a 78 year old adventurer named Carl Fredricksen who tied his house with thousands of baloons and flies away to South America.From there, he met a stowaway named russel and they found hilarious journey ina lost world full of adventure, danger and fun!

In My Life (Star Cinema)

This movie is about Sherley, a school librarian, who was forced by circumstances to live in America with her gay son and his lover. There, she tries to start a new life with the help of her son's lover but soon discovered a dark secret. The ending was more of a surprise and tragic! believe me--this movie made me really cry (though not so much!). I have all praises for the actors and actresses in the movie for showing the difficult journey of a family with complex life storiesn and choices. Though the story did not have much direction in its story --it was somehow heart warming.

Fame



This sory is about the life of actors, actresses and musicians at the New York City High School of Performing Arts where they all were given the chance to live their dreams and succeed. On the way to fame--they all experienced hardships, self-doubt, competitive atmosphere, etc.. As time goes by, they all discovered their self-worth and their own journey to suceed. The movie was highlighted by each of their passion as they fight for the limelight and FAME!


Great movie for HS and College students.


HAPPY VIEWING!

My New Book--Soon to come out!

Please watch out for my next book!

A Boost for Positive Psychology!

I am lately burning my eyebrow in the research I am doing right now--I hope to be able to look into the Bicolano Experience of Happiness! Yes, you read it right--happiness! My research is on HAPPINESS! Believe me--its been worth the burn and the hardwork!

This study (entitled: Happiness Matters! The Bicolano Paradigm of Happiness)--is actually a product of my long admiration for Positive Psychology. Positive Psychology is a new branch of human discipline that looks into the character strengths and virtues that enable individuals and communities to thrive. Like my first research (Displaced Women Disasater Survivors: Survival Qualities and Coping Strategies), this new study hopes to understand the framework of happiness that make Bicolanos resilient despite of the difficulties of life (calamities, poverty, political unrest, etc..). I invested in the discipline of happiness because again and again, happiness has been the most valuable and sought after in all human quests. In many humanistic researches, it appeared to be the central concern of most of psychological, philosophical and theological thinking. Happiness seemed to be an important topic to look into in the midst of chaos and crisis (in all dimesnions of life!).

I am now awaiting for the data gathered by my team of research assistants for the final write up of the project. I have quietly invested (financially and emotionally) in this project because I am a strong advocate of holistic wellness and i personally believe that happiness encompassess all dimensions of wellness. I will publish the result of this study here so that everybody can somehow access this beauitful research.

"What Everyone wants from life is continous and genuine happiness"-Baruch Spinoza

The Transformational Life of Seminarians

I spent almost four days with the seminarians of the diocese of Albay. It was a beautiful experience as a whole. The place was really nice and tranquil (although at first--I didnt know where it was exactly!)....My days with these young gentlemen were so meaningful--I felt honored to be part of their never-ending transformation in their spiritual journey. Their being spirit-filled companions made me appreciate deeply the calling of the dinive union with Christ. Most people have opted to build their own families in marriage and a few decided to remain single (like me!) but fewer still nowadays are those who have decided to become priests and have opted to give their lives totally for others, this is the precise journey and state of life chosen by these young men. I cannot stop but admire their courage in saying "yes" to the calling. It is not hypocrisy if I write here that the world is badly in need of their breed. Their immersion towards their transformation was simply marvelous and heart-warming. As they share personally (in between smiles and genuine laughter!), they have proven as well their human weaknesses and character strengths. I was just happy that the session on sexuality and celibacy was finally included in their formation program. The seminarians took the leap when they opened their souls and humanity in the session (talking about sexuality and its dynamics can be a taboo for many).

I always believe that so much of a priests' work is relational and sometimes people just want someone to listen to them, to pray with them. Relationship penetrates everything they do. They think of Christ loving everyone, and through them, they bring Christ to everyone they meet...so its important that they give their gifts of presence, availability and compassion by journeying towards the totality of their being including their sexuality and choice to live a celibate life.

Personally, I really feel blessed by my experiences with these men in white. I am so thankful for all the people along the way making the sessions possible for these seminarians.

See you soon guys!

When Breaking Up Sucks!

I remember the question asked to me by a depressed client: "Neth why do you think breaking up sucks?! (romantic break-ups!)...I was struck not only because it led me to memory lanes (of my personal break-up experience) but the question appeared to be so simple yet so deep. My brain spinned so fast and I remember telling that client of mine these exact words: "We are hurting simply because we loved--we invested on love! That pain is not just from the reality of losing the relationship but even of seeing your hopes and dreams of a future life together disappear all together at the same time! So break up sucks!"

Losing a beautiful and promising relationship can be increadibly hard--for any human being for that matter. Admitting and coping is the hardest part--having to totally readjust your views and your dreams unfolding to you in the future and suddenly you dont see that anymore--that's not only painful but totally scary as well. A very genuine human experience.

Break-ups can hurt immensely and can shake us to our very core. When relationships ends--both partners are victims. Most of the time--both partners share issues of feeling like they are starting over again with life (imagining your life without your partner), both may be confronted by the difficulty to trust others again (you may wonder if you were wrong to have trusted your partner) and for some, identity crisis may resurface (difficulty defining who you are without your partner). These are personal struggles each of us experiences when significant relationships ends.

But life does not end in endings or break-ups! Allow me to share the three important suggestions I usually give to my clients. Many therapists have different views on coping but I am an advocate of this 3 very simple steps (these 3 simple tips were close to my heart--they are anchored on my personal experiences of losing special people in my life!):

1. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!

2. MOURN..GIve yourself time to grieve but not permanently!

3. MOVE FORWARD!

• Take Care of Yourself: Dont think of anything that will harm you..physically and psychologically. Do not consider drugs, alcohol or other addictive substances that might burry your feelings even more. Talking out your feelings with a trusted adult will help a lot! Remember that talking about it is the start of healing! Think of healthy activities that will make you even more healthy and beautiful (I remember jogging regularly when I am depressed or sad) or going to spa for a total body massage/makeover!) If you make yourself look good--you will certainly feel good!



• Mourn: give yourself time to to cry your eyes out! But please dont sdont let your eyeball pop out for crying so long! If you want to mourn alone--be your guest but if you want to have friends with you--with all means--invite your closest friends. But please--DONT CALL YOUR EX! I'm not telling you not to reconnect with your ex--but atleast for some time--allow yourself to build your ego again!

• MOVE FORWARD: If you want a ceremonial snapshot torching of your ex's photo--by all means do it! but if you want to keep them with you as souvenir--then do it as well! But after that--condition yourself to move forward...and return your life to normal! Make plans with friends for the weekends, spend quality time with your family, get out and try something new (dance, snorkle, try water sports, etc..).Find a fabulous release! Believe me--the activities, music and physical activities will make you feel better!

I'm sure you'll hit some emotional bumps from time to time but believe me--before you know it--you are on your road to recovery! If you allow yourself to undergo the 3 steps above--im sure you'll end up more stronger and wiser person. Soon--you will realize that this break-up experience will just be another U-turn in your life!

Happy Coping!

Loving Keith Urban!

A friend of mine introduced me to the songs of Keith Urban--at first I was pretty hesitant to listen to them--I'm not a fan of country music you see. But When he insisted that I listen to them--i did just to please my friend. I played it on my car while driving and alas! I loved it! I loved evry music on his album! It was love at first listening for me! Truly Keith brought his own distinctive talent, energy, and charisma to Country music and beyond. They were so upbeat for a country music! The melody of each song were simply fabolous and the lyrics--they were nice, simple but powerful! Im so taken by his song entitled: "You'll think of me"--so slow yest so powerful--such a sweet song!

"Take your records, take your freedom.

Take your memories I don't need'em.

Take your space and take your reasons.

But you'll think of me"

"Someday I'm gonna run across your mind.

Don't worry, I'll be fineI'm gonna be alright.

While you're sleeping with your pride

Wishing I could hold you tightI'll be over you

And on with my life"

My fascination of music was again deepened by Keith Urban's music. Satisfaction guaranteed when you listen to the following songs:

You'll Think of me

Days Go by

Sweet Thing

Somebody like you

ONce in a Lifetime

Making Memories of Us

Kiss a Girl

Now I owe my friend a lot for introducing Keith's music to me! Happy Listening!

My Kenya Adventure Part 3

Sept 3-The convention ended very very well. In the evening of Sept 3--the family of Eunice invited me to have dinner with them. It was a very nice dinner from a very accomodating kenyan family. My love for Kenya even went deeper when I met this wonderful family. All of them were so accomodating and warm. I wish I could visit them again soon.

Sept 4- In the morning of sept 4, Merab dropped by at my hotel to pick me up for her school (Muslim School for GIrls). The school was wonderful and the people--they are also the best! The faculty and the personnel were all equally warm and welcoming. truly--they proved to me that kenyans are naturally warm people! When I went back to my hotel---Diana was there to see me before going to the airport. We had a nice chat and tea at the rooftop of khweza!She was a nice nice lady with so much love for her people. I cant wait to collaborate with her soon.

William picked me up a little over twelve to bring me to the airport. The process at the airport was quiet "unfriendly" but nevertheless it was a nice and wonderful experience. After 5 hours, Im back at Doha and back to the Philippines.

My kenya adventure was worth it! it was a life changing experience. I gained not only travel memories but more than that--i gained so many friends whom i will hold dearly in my heart forever!